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Dvaita

Dvaita

Lv5

A möösë bit his sister!!!

2018-03-05 JoinedGlobal
12.8h

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78
  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Posted

    One of the better stories I've read here, as it's neither the trope of cultivate, get Jade beauty and do face slap nor progression fantasy, litrpg math simulator. Instead, it's a refreshing take on a transmigrated MC who doesn't immediately become overpowered with some system (though there is a system) and becomes an edgelord Jesus It is a protagonist who's slowly coming to terms with his new reality and life as a cat slave, and a noble with a complicated past. The world building is rich and detailed, with enough references to the real world that it's not completely novel. The characters are for the most part well developed and rich in depiction. There are some kinks to be worked out, such as the evil for evil bully prince but they're minor and can be easily addressed in the future. One issue is that the story meanders, lavishing detail on characters to make it seem like they matter, but ultimately are nothing more than the character of the day type. Not an entirely bad thing, but considering the novel format, it's difficult for the reader to keep track of a character who was introduced 40 chapters ago who gets referenced now.

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    Young "anatomist" with a shark pool who somehow had funding for crossbreeding million year old species? There's suspension of disbelief and then there's this

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    What happened to the grammar here anyway? The quality took a huge nosedive

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    This is reading too much like one of those beta Japanese MC transmigrated to Isekai worlds. I mean, looks like it's a sexually liberated society, the MC obviously has a desire, it seems weird to act so juvenile. And it is equally weird for the MC to not recognize his own strength and self worth

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    Story is interesting but why isn’t the butler questioning the sudden change in the MC and acting all Buddy Buddy with the MC?

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    It’ll be easier if you run this through a spell or grammar checker. Sentences like “other races don’t but can’t” make no sense otherwise

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    It might seem funny, but it’s such a weird tonal shift from the flowery prose of the first two chapters to stream of consciousness dialogues like these. Someone who’s been total trash their entire life can’t suddenly transform overnight. Imagine watching a long movie of how your life could be and changing overnight and becoming magically better. Old habits die hard. It’ll be more believable for there to be gradual change. More realistic too

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    A slave would have “their” status revoked. Come on, even if It’s a slave calling them an It is too much

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Commented

    Joy will be a better word here than mirth

  • Dvaita
    Dvaita3 years ago
    Replied to man_of_culture3030

    Ok honestly I don't mind you've a literal poem in the synopsis, but I still have no idea what the story is about. I get that this is your passion project, your brainchild, your Magnum opus, etc etc., but I've literally no idea what this is about. Even a single paragraph describing the story works. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. And only a limited amount of time. I'd rather read what I know I like, than to dive head first into the unknown. So pretty please, a small description of the novel?