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KAI0

KAI0

Lv4

Love good novels, hate bad english

2017-11-18 JoinedGlobal
-d

Writing

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of reading

396

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5

Moments

2
  • KAI0
    KAI02yr
    Posted

    I'm disappointed. The author doesn't seem to have a grasp of how to form a storyline well, and keeps mixing up details between the various time periods in the story. Good effort, but the story lacks draw. It seems to me like the new villains only exist to give a challenge to the OP MC, who is only OP 50% of the time. That being said, writing is tough and I do see talent in the author as a writer. The language is clear and the writing itself isn't bad at all. Improving your foreshadowing skills and solidifying your overall plot before writing anymore would be nice. It's also unnecessary to give the MC so many powers, when just a few of them are actually used. Study the manga a little more - and I'd suggest reading some of the fanfics on translatinotaku, to inspire you more. Thanks for the hard work!

    altalt
    Reborn in Naruto As Madara's Grandson
    Anime & Comics · ForgottenLife
    detail
  • KAI0
    KAI02yr
    Replied to MidGard

    So far amazing job - could you keep all the covers somewhere? I like to see how his Mutations change

    altalt
    Supremacy Games
    Sci-fi · MidGard
    detail