Watergate_LAW
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Your char probably need to modify this restriction (like Kurapika did with his Judgement Chain and Chain Jail). As is, this restrict Kamui into purely defensive use, limiting its combat usability. (A 1s use = 1s cd, 2=2, 4=4, etc. exchange) is very inflexible and is not worth the risk to use in combat as you cannot go tangible to intangible and vice versa in a moments notice.
You" could use some application of pronouns to avoid being redundant. Though, kidding aside there are no major error (quite literally as "pronouns" are considered a minor word class category) in your piece, per se, aside from the improper and lacking use of pronouns throughout you writings. If you could improve on pronoun application, specially that of personal pronouns, e.g., (He/Him/His/Himself - Masculine) (she/her/herself - Feminine) then that will be a huge improvement.
Fisher Tiger was betrayed by the people form Koala's hometown, they called the marine due to knowing somehow that the fishman are journeying to return koala to her hometown. He was ambushed by marines but escaped the entrapment with severe bleeding. He died due to blood loss, he could have survived, had he not refused the human blood for transfusion.
Maybe it's better if this is phrased like this. "A fish is a fish, What did you expect?
Though translation could use a bit of polishing, it doesn't really stain the great of a fanfic this is. It's totally a different take of character/attitude (specially luffy) and the indepth storyline in east blue, though its bad at depicting the environment (or they're just no interesting things/places on east blue). Btw please continue translating ;)
Author-san, I noticed this early on that you seem to be using present tenses like 'give' 'take' 'buy', when past tenses like 'gave' 'took' 'bought' are more appropriate in your work. Your style seems to be a narration of what already happened or what your character (buggy) have done, so it would fit more if you use 'past tenses' in your verbs, as aside from that i could not spot any alarming vocabulary mistake. It's staining your work this early on and I could not have that keep happening in this promising idea of a fanfiction.
What twist this fanfic has made, very detailed, different and seamlessly connected. Would have been spotless to read, only stained by some minor vocabulary and spelling error. Thank You for sharing your Work! (I binge read your work today; spent around 5 hours)
Your work has been improving Author-san, its much more elaborately written. It's much cleaner and easier to read now than ur former chapters, though i think you still have to improve on those little details to make it more seamless and connected. But overall you've already got that feel (Great Work).
An outstanding plethora of dedication on writing (just based on the word count on a chap), impeccable grammar and a more thorough writing of the bad work done on such amazing show. I honestly thought that boruto story's line could not get more shallow; the old generation was more or less abandoned (majority of them) and turned into a comic relief characters. But here you are, you turned it into an interesting plot, a very job well done to you Author-san. 'Tis what we need, a well written masterpiece. 🔥
I have always been bewildered by that resolved he had, but i believe that (omitted reasons/drive) too had a purpose to play in your writing. I just don't know if us, readers, would get the clarification later or sooner pertaining to his past that birth that kind of mindset. I don't know if I'm wrong or correct, it could be about his past (which was obvious the instance he was summoned), or result of a manipulation on the part of that being. Ultimately, i am unsure as im not the author. Ps: You were right i kind of liked chap. 93 and specially this one, as it kind of off tracked from a calculating, predicting, and maybe a bit indifferent just like a mission driven human modeled machine, to a sentient emotion based hooman fueled with unbreakable resolve.
Do you write directly in a device or on paper or both? I have been reading your work for a while (this one and the other 2), you've probably done more than i now of. I am quite curious to how you retain such flow of the story line, do you re-read or re-watch the animation and what not; as i find it peculiar how you maintain retention with a sense flow. I'm curious 'cause if it would've been someone like me; someone who have a short term memory, it would take a lot of work. But anyway enough of the curious rant, I'm waitin' for the part you promised; something original, puzzlingly peculiar and restricted (in a good way), as i have seen some unrestricted works were they present such grand light shows but the shadows are miniscule (There can never be strong light without it's big shadows, for short it was quite shallow for my taste). Ps: If this have been an essay i would get sub-par marks.
Your really eloquent in writing Author-san. You make use of your refined period formation technique that shows your experience. Does the use of periods makes you tired or have had an instance where you got fed up when forming periods and other symbols to provide expression in your character or do you find it a necessary thing to do?