A girl imprisoned in her memories. For some reason she can not wake up, all she can do is walk for every moment of her life, be it painful or happy. In search of the last memory, of when she was still awake.

I always wanted to meet my real parents and I met my mother, she is also my mother's missing sister. After school was over we went on our daily missions.
"Hey Liz, where were you in the morning?"
Liz was with Ana but when I was with my mother, only Ana was there so Liz doesn't know anything yet.
"I am in charge of our school trip--training camp next week" said Liz
"Is that so?"
Should I tell Liz about my mother? As I was thinking that Ana whispered to me,
"Hey Luka, you should tell Liz about--"
"I know"
"Do you want me to tell her?"
"No"
"Huh?"
"It's not like I don't want to but you know, she doesn't have a mother and I think she doesn't get along with her father"
Liz has stayed over at Ana's place many times, but she never told her parents about it and whenever we ask her about her father she dodges the topic.
"Yeah you are right"
"What are you two whispering about?" Liz asked us in a low voice, imitating us.
"Whoa Liz"
"What were you two talking about?"
"Nothing serious" said Ana
"Ah, don't tell me you were talking about something lewd now that you are going out"
"We weren't!"
"If you two decide to do something, count me in"
"We just said we weren't talking about that"
"Okay"
We are on our way back home,
"Hey Ana" said Liz
"Yes?"
"Can I stay at your place for a few days?"
"Sure"
Now I am sure something is wrong.
We went home, I took a bath, and I am eating dinner. I am very happy today, I met my real mother and I--
"Why do you look so happy Luka?" My old man asked.
"I am not happy or anything" 
"Hey Luka" Lily who was sitting beside me whispered to me
"What?"
"Did you kiss Ana?"
What the hell is she asking!
"I didn't"
"Then why are you so happy?"
She thinks I am happy because I might have kissed Ana?
"I am not--ah, there is training camp next week, so I am excited about that"
"I see"
I was lying on my bed, thinking of what happened today, I am very happy, I can't wait to meet mama tomorrow.
The window is open so I can feel the cold breeze, as I was enjoying the cold breeze, I felt like my body...no, rather than my body it felt like my soul was being dragged somewhere. I opened my eyes to see everything around me was black.
Another dream? I feel like I have been here before.
"That's right. I remember. I was chasing a light but there is no light...here"
I saw a bright light, last time I was chasing it but this time it's coming at me.
"Hello there"
The light was so bright that my eyes...wait the light just spoke?
I slowly opened my eyes to see a girl in white, she has white long hair, she is shining like a moon.
"Hello there"
"...."
"Hello there"
She is really speaking!
"...."
"You can't understand me? I said Hell-llo"
Stop with the gesture!
"Umm...what is going on?"
"You can hear me?"
"Is this a dream?"
"You can say that"
"What?"
"I am inside your body"
"Inside my body?"
"Do you remember some weeks ago you felt like something went inside your body?"
"Ye...ah?"
"That was me"
"So you are impurity?"
"Impurity is the wrong word but you can say I am pure impurity"
What the hell is pure impurity? 
"How are you inside my body? And what do you want?"
"What do I want? I don't want anything"
"Why are you in my body?"
"Because I wanted to?"
Why are you asking me? And didn't you just say that you don't want anything?
"Okay, let's start again. First, who are you?"
"I am a spirit"
"Spirit? So you are dead?"
"No, I don't have a body"
 I am more confused now!
"What is your name?"
"Name? What is name?"
Someone please wake me up!
"Name means...my name is Luka. People call me Luka. What about you? What do people call you?"
"I don't have a name"
"You don't remember it?"
"No, I never had a name"
"Okay. What do you want from me?"
"I don't want anything"
"So why are you inside my body?"
"I just felt like I should go inside you"
We are back to start!
"Do you want to possess or control my body?"
"How do I do that?"
Don't ask me!
Wait, she is inside my body that means that voice...
"Did you help me remember my mother?" 
"...."
She is silent.
"Hello, can you hear me?"
"When I entered your body I read your memories"
My memories?!
"You always wanted to meet your mother and I found one memory which was of your mother. I just helped you remember it"
My memories? She can do something like that?
"Have you read all of my memories?"
"I did"
That moment I remembered all the embarrassing moments of my life but it's too late for that now.
She can read my memories so could it be that she also...
"Can you read my dreams too?"
For the past few months I have had strange dreams. When I wake up I don't remember the dreams but I can remember whether it was a sad dream or a happy dream. I can't remember the dreams, all that's left is the feeling that I can't describe.
"The dreams are also stored in memories but people always forget them"
"Did you read my dreams too?"
"I...did"
"Can you tell me what type of dreams they are?"
"I can't. They are too cruel and painful" 
But...
"They are only dreams, right?"
"I don't know"
"The person in my dreams me?"
"I don't know" 
"....."
What's going on? I was born, I have a mother, I grew up with Ana, so what are those dreams?
"But there is something strange"
"Huh?"
"You are 17 years old, right?"
"That's right. Why did you ask?"      
"Um...it's hard to explain. Oh, can I pluck your hair?"
"Huh? Sure, but why?"     
She plucked one of my hair.
"You are 17 years old. You have 17 years of memory"
"Yeah so?"
"This. If your hair is 17 years of your memory since you were born then...."
She plucked one of her hair. 
"What are you trying--"
"Then my hair is the memory of your dreams"
"What?"
"My hair is a memory of your dreams"
"I heard that but what do you mean?"
"In other words if your hair--"
"Wait, you don't mean that if my hair is 17 years of my life then..."
"That's right, the dreams you are having are thousands of years old"
"How is that possible?"
"Not only that, the dreams are more than thousands of years long"
"How is something  like that possible?"
"I don't know"
"Is the person in my dream immortal or what?"
"I don't know"
"You should know. You read my dreams, right?"
"I did but not everything is..."
"You mean there is more?"
"....."
"You mean I will get more of these dreams? Even though I don't remember them? Why?" 
"Please don't yell at me. I am just inside your body for sometime. I will leave your body soon"
"Ah...I am sorry I didn't mean to yell at you. I wasn't yelling at you"
"....."
"You can stay in my body as long as you want"
"I.....so...ha...to...so...thi...abou...ast"
"What did you say?" 
"Luka. Luka. Wake up. You will be late"
I opened my eyes. My head hurts. Did I have a dream again?
"Hey what's wrong? Why are you out of breath? "
Wait..I remember. I remember this dream.
"I met a girl in a dream"
"Luka"
"Lily. What's wrong? Why do you look so--"
"Even though you are going out with 2 girls, you are dreaming of some other girl?" 
"Wait, no. I mean I did meet a girl but she was real"
"You have guts to admit that"
"No, believe me. It was a dream but she was real"
"I will call Ana"
"Wait don't. Please! I will do anything"
"Anything?"
Oh, crap!
"Nothing lewd" 
"Okay so, kiss me"
"I just said nothing lewd"
"Kissing is not lewd"
"It is" 
"But you said you will do anything"
"I also said nothing lewd"
"I will call Ana after all"
"Wait, I will, I will kiss you"
 "Really?"
"Yeah, close your eyes"
"Okay"
She leaned forward and closed her eyes. I grabbed her face and kissed her...on the forehead. 
"Happy?"
"Kiss me on the lips"
"You never said anything about lips"
"Why you--"
"You think you are smart? Your brother is smarter than you"



Everyone sees dreams . Some people sees good dreams and some people sees nightmares .But Do you ever had a weird dream ? Once I had a weird dream? I still remembers that dream . Usually I don't remembers dreams but I remember that one . I don't why ? 

In My Dream 

----------------------- 

"Zara! Go to bed early today. We have to get out tomorrow morning," said the mother. 

Hmmm, let's just say I went to my room. I'm listening song in my bed. 

The eyes getting heavy. I want to sleep. Suddenly I woke up and saw I was in the car going somewhere. 

"Where are we going?", I asked. 

"Don’t you remember? We are going to uncle's house," said White witch. 

We were supposed to go tomorrow. We were at home. Everyone was sleeping. I were 

Listening songthen I fell asleep. Does that mean everything I saw earliar was a dream or what I am seeing now is a dream. 

Suddenly I can hear a lot of people voice . It seems to be like I am in the middle of the crowd. I opened my eyes. We are at uncle's house. But a while ago we were driving. Monk is sitting next to me. 

"Monk , when did we reach?" , I asked. 

"Do you have any memory problems? We arrived a long time ago." The monk said. 

I got up from the sofa and went to the bathroom. I Wash my face . Why is this happening to me? Do I really have any memory problem? Do I having amnesia ? I don't understand anything. I come out of the bathroom.. Suddenly I felt like I was being pushed. We are in our car. 

"Where are we going ?" I asked. 

Do you really have memory problems? We are near at house now you say this? "The monk said. Why is this happening to me? I am not feeling good anymore. I have to see a doctor. Our car was going very fast. At that time suddenly our car hit with a white car. 

Am I dying ? Am I really dying ? I don't want to die . Please save me . 

Suddenly "Zara Get up!" Mother called. I woke up from my dream . So I was watching a dream. I got scaerd . But the things is I don't remember other dreams . But I clearly remember this one . I think this was scary . Hella scary . Hope you guys have good dreams .Not like mine scary and weird . Now I am really goes to uncle house and thank god I came back safely . I feel relief .

Everyday is a new. Some people have bad day some people have good day some people discover new things .But at the night we all think what we done in hole day . we think about our happy moments , our embarss moments,our sad moments and our new moments.

The story is about a girl.who at her age she discover new things.new peoples .

As expected, we arrive at North Mount High School late. Nicky didn't talk to Nate all the way here, while Nate was persuading her mercy. And the girl didn't show him any.

    When we reached the main building of junior high school we separated our ways, simply because we are assigned in different classes- Nicky's A, Nate's B and I am in class D a.k.a. the worse than the worst. The dumbs and problematic students are assigned at the last class and yes, that's class D.

    Am I dumb? Am I problematic? Well, soon you'll know.

    The N-Duo favorite role is to act as my safety pin; they try to calm me down when they knew that any moment I'll berserk and will cause another major problem that will affect my school records. They try their best to keep me safe, like a piece of cloth with a missing button but protected by a safety pin.

    As usual, even all the classes are already starting, the hallways of the main building are still busy. The high and low pitch voices lingered around my ear and mixed in my head. They are typical high school students wasting their contaminated saliva by blabbering nonsense gossips.

    Instead of getting more annoyed and knitting their useless lips, I chose to admire the beauty of the building. The main building looks like an ancient castle for me. The floor is made by cream-hued dazzling marbles with sparkling gold linings.

   The walls are pecan colored and it looks like wood but built using concrete. On the walls, there are a few painting hanging, some are from bidding I guess and I think those are hella expensive. But most are painted by the talented students, regardless of the assigned section if it looks artistic and will complement the interior they'll get hung. The school administration at least knows how to consider talent.

   While admiring the hallway, a horrible sound entered my ears, I slowly turned back and saw someone running as fast as he could. Completely unbothered by the piercing sound of his black shoes that are smashing the marble floor. Poor marble floor.

   And then suddenly before I even knew it he already slipped while running and hardly slammed his body against mine.

   It felt like my body is flying the way the villain does when got punch by the superheroes on their body. My frail limbs felt like being sliced with a newly bought knife.

   Before I even hit the ground, pop my head, and spit out my pinkish brain. I felt his wide hand covered my head and his arm pulled me in waist closer to him, protecting me from crashing towards the harsh-hard marble floor.

   So instead of falling flat on the marble floor, I fell on his muscular body. My body hurt but hell, surely not as his back hurts.
   I stood up immediately and fixed my skirt and coat together with my hair while memorizing his facial structure so I can plan my revenge.

   But what I saw made me feel like I am a legit psycho or my eyesight is completely ruined. Then I suddenly remembered what I did earlier, I shouted at the sky.  

   "I've been tormented in my dreams about him for years! Why not introduce him to me and torment me while I am awake too?!!"

    BUT I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!

    He looks exactly like the man in my dream, cool undertone skin, protruding lips, and green eyes. Especially the mole on his lower right eye.

   I was almost convinced that he's really the man in my dreams but I immediately shook my head and walk towards my classroom, brutally ignoring every evidence life's showing me.

   He looks exactly like the man that I treasured the most in my dreams. The man that always gets killed in the most brutal ways possible because he treasured me too much as well. The man that makes me feel excruciating pain and sadness, in my dreams and every time I wake up.


    I found myself sitting under a large mango tree, its branches are crowded by flat expanded greenish organs that are dancing by the wind and giving me a nice and cool shade.

    I rampaged my brown backpack to find my 'memory notebook'. My memory notebook is my most important possession, it's like Lara Jean's love letters. Except she writes her letter to get freed from her overwhelming adoration over those guys, the letters were her exorcisms she said. For me, I write in my Memory Notebook not to get freed by emotions nor let go of what happened. You can easily derive from what its name its purpose-to remember.

    My Memory Notebook is simply, my memory bank.

   I forget almost every detail of my precious moments in a blink of an eye, that is why I have my Memory Notebook. I want to devour every information about my happy memories for the rest of my life. I don't know if I have a forget-good-memories-syndrome or what, but it's hard for me to forget those things I don't want to remember, those fragments of my life I wish never happened.

    Just like my whole life, my backpack is a real mess and very unorganized. Making it harder for me to find what I am looking for. The inside is full of many crumpled sheets and candy wrappers, this thing's not a bag, this thing is a trashcan seriously.

    I immediately tossed my bag away to the ground after finding my white Memory Notebook. The cover is personalized with my written cursive name by red glitters. I turned the cover and a blank page popped on my sight. After that, I found my rectangular white feather bookmark in the middle section where I last wrote an entry.

    I removed the soft feather bookmark and place it on the first page rather than the last page to avoid making the sheet unbalance, then I started writing my new entry.

     I made each entry a creative and intriguing title. My first entry was entitled "A lie that made me hold a silver lining" written using a fancy silver glittered ink. And for this new entry, I'll use the title "Dream catchers are fraud and never shout at the sky with horrible ideas even though it's enveloped with sarcasm." 

   My 101 dream catchers failed to catch my good dreams. And I even received a 'gift' from the sky by introducing the repetitive man in my nightmares, therefore those things are just fraud and very heartless. Imagine, they even want me to be tormented while awake. Wholesome shitty trick.

     I wrote everything that happened from the moment I woke up, shouted at the sky, and how I encountered the man in my dreams just a few moments ago. I must be cursed to receive an ultimate double bad karma for being extremely evil back then. I must have been a paid assassin in my past life and killed one king in the Joseon era.

Shasta Daisy is a high school troublesome and fearless (most of the time) student. And she has an inevitable curse she believe. Because she dreams about the man being tortured and killed over and over again. Then one day, she saw a boy that looks exactly like the one in her dreams and started pestering her life.

*Unedited*

"So Rica, can you please tell me about the dreams you've been having?" To be very frank, I didn't really want to. But at the end of the day, I knew I had to.


I felt a little nervous to speak as I adjusted myself once again on the couch. "Okay" I started clearing my throat softly.


"Here is the thing. I can't really explain the dreams I have been having. I know I have been having them for more than a year now, but I really don't still understand them." The therapist adjusted her glasses a little and then jotted something down on her smallish looking jotter. I used that time to read the name that was printed on her lab coat. Dr. Amélie Meunier. From her name you could tell she was french, well her thick accent also gave that away.


"Hmm" With a friendly look on her face she began "You see Rica, what you said is very normal. I have treated a handful of patients that have been in the same position as you are now. Not being able to remember dreams is very normal, even if you repeatedly have them. 


"You see Rica, we all spend a third of our lives asleep, a good chunk of which involves dreaming. But most often, you don't remember any of your dreams. And even on those lucky days when you wake up with a memory of the dream still floating in your mind, there's a good chance that in just a minute the memory will vanish into thin air and back to dreamland" I listened attentively to what she was saying. Learning about new things was just imbedded in my blood.

"In waking life, such a case of quickly forgetting recent experiences would surely land you in a doctor's office. With dreams, however, forgetting is normal. Why? 'We have a tendency to immediately forget dreams, and it's likely that people who rarely report dreams are just forgetting them more easily' said Thomas Andrillon, a neuroscientist at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia. It might be hard to believe that you had a dream if you don't remember anything, but studies consistently show that even people who haven't recalled a single dream in decades or even their entire lifetime, do, in fact, recall them if they are awakened at the right moment" Normally, other people would this section I was having, far beyond the boundaries of boring, but I was enjoying it. So listening to Favour's threat wasn't all that bad.


"While the exact reason is not fully known, scientists have gained some insight into memory processes during sleep, leading to several ideas that may explain our peculiar forgetfulness" When Dr. Amélie reached this point her eyes widened, as if finally realizing that she's been talking for a while now.

"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry, I guess I went too deep in my explanation. I get like that sometimes when I talk about anything relating to the human brain" Releasing an awkward chuckle she said.

Giving her a reassuring smile I told her "It's quite okay. I find what you were staying greatly intriguing. If you don't mind I will like to hear more?" I said with a sheepish smile.

Releasing a smile of her own, she nodded and continued.
"Sometimes, our dreams aren't memorable. Do you remember what you were thinking about this morning when brushing your teeth?" giving her a nod signifying no she proceeded.

"Our minds wander all the time, but we discard most of those thoughts as nonessential information. Dreams, especially mundane ones, may be just like daydreaming thoughts and deemed by the brain to be too useless to remember. The late dream researcher Ernest Hartmann, who was a professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, said this. 'But dreams that are more vivid, emotional and coherent seem to be better remembered' " I wanted to tell her that no, my case was different. The dreams I have been having are very emotional as I always wake up with tear stained cheeks, but I still don't recall most of the important details.

"I believe that...." the sound of an office telephone ringing, that was placed on the small stool beside her seat interrupted what she was about to say.

"Sorry a minute please, I need to take this call" Nodding my head slightly she answered the call.

"Hello" her thick french accent resonated across the whole room.

"Hmm, Oui. Mr Vaniza is already here?" The surprise in her tone matched the look in her eyes.

"Alright, please tell him I will attend to him right away" After she ended the call and placed the phone back.

"I'm so sorry Rica. I guess we will have to postpone our section to next Thursday. I was blabbing too much that I didn't even notice our thirty minutes has already gone" With an apologetic gaze and a low chuckle she told me. 

"It's okay doctor. Next Thursday isn't far away" I was doing an internal happy dance at this point. I was so glad that we didn't actually get to the part were I would narrate some parts of my dreams. I will probably be ready to tell her about it next time, but not now.

(Please note that this book is currently unedited) 

Vol 1~ I Choose You. (Completed)



'No matter what, No matter the time, No matter the place, No matter the century, No matter what's to come, I. will always. CHOOSE. YOU'.

Everyone saw her as crazy..... But he saw her as nothing less than perfection.

...................
Blurb:

"Why?" was the only thing he said.

Confused I asked "Why what?"

"Why do you always do this to yourself?" the tone in which he spoke almost seemed like he was heartbroken about something.

"Do what?" I dared to ask, although I knew already within me I wouldn't like his response.

"Conceal your worth"
.......................
*Btw book 1 is completely free to read*
.......................


Vol 2~ No Matter What. (Completed)

Blurb:

As I gazed up to him because of how tall he was, he stared right back at me. I could feel the heat not only on my cheeks but on every single part of my body.


"Say those words Rica. Say those two little words and I will make that little fantasy in your pretty head into reality" I gulped. Gone was the playful smirk that was once residing on his face. The intense look in his eyes now replaced that.


With the little courage I could muster I whispered "Kiss me" 

A broad smile immediately streched out on his face. He didn't even wait a second before he swiftly complied to my request.
................


After two long years, the heir to the Zora enterprise is finally back. Why is he back after so long? But most importantly, why did he leave in the first place?

Join Dili and Rica once again in their ever blissful rollercoaster of emotions. Will Rica be able to forgive Dili for leaving? After all he was the same person that promised he would never leave her all alone.


Drama, love, pain, secrets, new characters and also maybe the jiggling of wedding bells? Book 2 most definitely has it all.


................
If you like this small insight of the story then please read on.

The only thing I can guarantee you in this story is that it will definitely have a happy ending although for the two characters Rica and Dili to achieve that, they would have too pass through many difficult obstacles on their way to happiness.

 And trust me this isn't your normal Teenage story that is filled with rainbows and sunshine,(probably seems way too cliché writing this but ehn) there are a lot of gloomy days. If you don't mind that then please by all means do read on.

..................


DISCLAIMER!: Note, this is a pure work of fiction. An original story by me. Names, events and places are plainly fictional. But any place, name or event that actually exist in the real world that is mentioned in this story, is solely used in a form of fiction. 

Any resemblance to a real life event, is purely coincidental.


Cover art belongs to the respective owner.


Discord: Zanyyy #5284
Instagram: _zan_yyy_

Buy me coffee? https://ko-fi.com/Zanyyy

Arnaut was deep in thought, as he munched on the tomato and basil salad that Ein had traded for his kimchi. 

He was listening to Ein as he spoke about the dreams that visited him this morning as well as the dreams he experienced while he was unconscious. Eventually, Arnaut finishes his food and sets down the empty lunch box. A relieving sigh escapes from his mouth.

"It's good to hear that you're experiencing dreams in your sleep. At least it's a good indication for me that you're getting enough rest! Haha!" Arnaut gives a pat to Ein's shoulder.

"Sleep is good, but being woken up by nightmares every now and then stresses me out more." Ein stretches his arms and sits up straight on the hospital cot. 

"Actually… you only had one dream Ein, two of those dreams that you mentioned, sounded like a memory." 

Arnaut crosses his arms and glances at Ein curiously. "When people dream about bad memories, they would consider it as nightmares in their sleep."

"Two of them were memories?" Ein's dark blue irises dilated in shock. 

"Dreams in psychology are usually interpreted as one's subconscious desires or repressed emotions. I saw signs of those from your second dream… but the first and the third…" Arnaut scratches his head in frustration. "Yeah, the first one is clearly a memory since I remember reading that from your daily journal when we first had our sessions. But the third, it has the signs of a dream but…" 

"Strange… I can't recall anything about meeting a blonde-haired kid." Ein sighs as he ponders. "And I certainly do not recall anyone with the name of Hobbes."

"Well… I'm taking a guess, but I think it had something to do with the memory lapses you incurred after the assault incident." Arnaut's expression stiffened and his eyes were glued onto Ein. 

"Ein, could it be that you're starting to recollect your lost memories?"

"I don't know… My memories after getting kicked out and Monique's family taking me in are still a blur, so I'm not sure." Ein massaged his temple as he felt a dull headache coming at him.

"Well, don't force yourself to remember, that will just stress you out, you know!" Arnaut stands up from his seat and clears away the empty food containers from the overbed table. "I'll clean up first, you should stay here and rest for the meantime." 

"Alright, see you in a bit, doctor." Ein gazed at Arnaut with a forlorn face and waved his hand, it looked like he was giving his final goodbyes to Arnaut.

"Hey, don't do that! It feels ominous!" Arnaut groans, he felt goosebumps grow on his nape. "I'll be back after a few minutes to check on you and close the windows, so you better stay put. And don't remove that monitor on your arm, Ein!"

Arnaut shuffles out of the room and closes the door gently. He went to the health centre's kitchenette and placed the food containers in the dishwasher. He then pulls out his phone and sends an email to Monique, copying Seori into the thread.

[Subject: Ein Therapy Log 10/16/2023]

[1:02 PM Just finished eating lunch with the patient. Apologies for the early log. (• ▽ •) Ein is on leave tomorrow so this has been sent a day in advance. (・–・) Sorry for the unexpected spam.]

[Ein is stable, but still recovering from the stress of the anxiety attack. He refused to speak further about the incident at the elevator. I asked him if it was related to his college memories and he said yes. Ein mentioned he dreamt thrice today.]

[1st dream was a memory of the past when he was disowned. The 2nd dream was where he met his child self and pushed him away. The 3rd dream was a memory about a blonde-haired, beaten up kid he met, but Ein was unsure as he can't recall further. He did mention the name "Hobbes" but doesn't recall meeting anyone with that name.]

[No signs or symptoms of concussion yet, but I suspect that Ein is gradually recovering his lost memories. After all, his lapses in memory were the aftereffects of overdosing flunitrazepam (Rohypnol) at the time of his sexual assault.]

[Will monitor him until the end of business hours (6 PM) and send him home after. (・–・)ゞ  I recommend that he goes for a check-up the day after tomorrow to rule out a concussion.]

[- Ar U Naut Entertained (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ- 1:08 PM]

Arnaut sends out the email and slips his phone back into his pocket, he then closes the lid on the dishwasher and turns it on to clean the food containers.

He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out again to check His face grimaced as he read the name on the notification bar. It was a direct reply from Monique.

[RE: Ein Therapy Log 10/16/2023] 

[Excellent work my liege! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ Your efforts will be rewarded handsomely. (see the attached file on this email) And thank you for the early update while looking after Ein. (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) ]

[Note: You've already met "Hobbes" earlier. (ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~ If you want to know more about it, call me later at 6 PM, I'll explain the deets. (≧▽≦) I'll reward you more if you cooperate with me!]

[- MonMon yo' Frenemy 1:13 PM]

Arnaut was intrigued at Monique's reply. "What does she mean I already met Hobbes?" Arnaut felt confused as he read Monique's note. "Hmm… additional rewards?" His eyes squinted as he scans the attachment. "I hope this isn't a scam."

He then opened the attached file on the email. His jaw drops as he sees several Amazon UK gift vouchers amounting to £5000. 

"Holy shit!" Arnaut almost drops his phone in joy. 

'Well, I guess this will help me and Seori complete our stations in the game room.' Arnaut's eyes sparkled with glee, he quickly redeems the vouchers and places orders on a set of his & hers gaming chairs, peripherals, video games and volumes 1-5 of Love Bus manga.

"Seori will be shocked when she visits on the weekend. Heehee…" Arnaut cackles as he heads back to Ein's room to check on him.

~~~~~

To be Continued.

~~~~~

*****BL/YAOI/MATURE WARNING:*****

-MAY CONTAIN THE FOLLOWING THEMES-
-BDSM, SEX TOYS, DEPRESSION, EXHIBITIONISM, ALCOHOL/DRUG USE-
-DUBIOUS CONSENT, SEXUAL ASSAULT, NON CONSENSUAL & ABUSE-

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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Ein Schmidt was disowned from his family due to his orientation 22 years ago.

He now leads a successful life, he's the assistant manager and corporate secretary for Hotel Citron, a 1st class, international hotel based in London. Although his career was flourishing, Ein had lived a solitary life for two decades.

But then, a day before his 40th birthday, spring came knocking on Ein's door, and slowly Ein started to open his heart...

~~~~~


Henry's golden irises radiated in the dark night, the cool wind blew gently and Ein watched his blond hair gracefully sway along. He then slowly reached for Ein's left hand, held it delicately and pressed it to his lips to give a kiss.

"I don't care what you are, or how old you are... You're you, Ein. And... I loved you for who you are."


~~~~~

Updates will be x2 a week, Every Tuesdays and Saturdays. Before 5 PM EST

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"The thing that people are most likely to forget is dreams."
Chen Chen said softly as he walked, "I once read a research paper on dreams. It said that within 5 minutes of waking up from sleep, about 50% of the content of the dream will be forgotten. In the next 15 minutes, more than 90% of the details in the dream will be forgotten.
"So, dreams may truly be a kind of 'anti-information' that exists in reality."
Chen Chen continued. "Of course, the anti-information here has nothing to do with antimemetic effects. The reason dreams are easily forgotten is that there are 'MCH neurons' in the brain, which secretes a 'melanin accumulating hormone'. This neuron and its secreted hormone can be mapped to the hippocampus and the hippocampus is the brain's main memory area.
"In experiments, activating these neurons will inhibit memory and these MCH neurons that inhibit memory are only active in the 'rapid eye movement period', which is one characteristic of humans when they're dreaming. In other words, the brain happens to inhibit the formation of memories during the sleep phase where dreams are produced.
"Because dreaming mainly occurs in the rapid eye movement period and this period is when MCH neurons are active, this prevents the hippocampus from storing dream memories. This is why the dreams that humans have are often forgotten after waking up…"
Hearing Chen Chen's explanation, Little X immediately pulled up the paper from the Internet. "I've found it. It's exactly as you said, but what does this have to do with the 'method of concealment' that we're looking for?"
"Uh…"
Chen Chen shook his head. "We can start with this angle and create a kind of dream meme to achieve the same effect as an antimeme. Let's regard this as a research direction."
"Alright."
Little X said thoughtfully, "I can try to use E language to calculate and see if I can find memetic effects that can affect human dreams, but I'm afraid it'll take a long time. Still, it's simpler than directly trying to engineer an antimeme."
Chen Chen nodded. This guideline was thus tentatively set. "Very well, but it's better to be as fast as possible."
While speaking, Chen Chen frowned slightly.
"Are you worried about the Federation's quantum computing?"
Little X suddenly became a little puzzled. In her experience, Chen Chen had never rushed her as this would indicate a lack of confidence. This hardly happened to a person like Chen Chen who had such a strong will.
Chen Chen suddenly stopped in his steps when he heard this. He frowned and finally voiced the thoughts in his mind, "I don't know why, but ever since I've merged with the T-virus and become non-human, I've always felt inexplicable anxiety.
"At first I thought it was just an illusion or that I hadn't gotten used to being a non-human, but now it has been a month, this anxiety hasn't diminished at all. Conversely, it has started to worsen and even taking NZT-48 cannot alleviate it. …"
Little X huffed softly. "I've also discovered that this kind of anxiety has begun to affect your judgment. Recently, your decision-making has become more radical. I still have some doubts as to why you're suddenly willing to step up research on memetic effects!"
Hearing this, Chen Chen could not help but nod. "So, it seems that all this isn't just in my mind… When I merged with the T-virus, there were hidden dangers that I didn't notice."
"Dreams…"
However, at this moment, Little X suddenly said, "Do you remember that when you woke up from the life incubator, you said that you had a dream, but you forgot what it was upon waking up? Even so, when you felt uneasy just now, you mentioned dreams again. If this is a subconscious suggestion, does it mean that the source of anxiety in your heart is related to dreams?"
Chen Chen's pupils shrank.
He suddenly recalled that he did have a frightening dream when he was fusing with the T-virus, but when he woke up, he forgot about it completely. The only thing he could remember was that he did have a dream…
To someone like Chen Chen, whose willpower and self-discipline could be said to be terrifying, this was practically impossible.
Then, the only explanation was that — there was something in that dream that was enough to make his subconscious feel a sense of foreboding.
Thinking of this, Chen Chen suddenly realized that he could almost ascertain that the source of his uneasiness must be from something in his dream!
"The foreboding didn't come from the T-virus itself."
Out of nowhere, Chen Chen murmured, "After all, I've been taking blood tests every day recently. If there are any follow-up problems with the T-virus, I'd definitely find out. But if it isn't the T-virus or my body that's having problems, what would it be?"
"Do you need hypnosis to retrieve that dream?"
Little X asked, "Maybe hypnosis can remind you of everything in that dream."
Chen Chen hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "We can try…"
While speaking, Chen Chen left the park and stood on the side of the road. Within half a minute, a commercial vehicle stopped in front of Chen Chen and he opened the door and got in.
"Don't go back to the Spire Experimental Base."
Chen Chen shook his head. "Go to the Faraday cage built in the industrial park and then lock me in."
"You…"
Little X hesitated to speak. "Do you suspect that this is a memetic effect?"
"No."
Chen Chen shook his head and when Little X breathed a sigh of relief, Chen Chen suddenly added. "I suspect this is an antimemetic effect."
"Ah…"
Little X whispered, "It should be impossible, right?"
Chen Chen shook his head and said nothing more.
Dreamland, antimemetic…
Perhaps it was his subconscious that kept warning himself, which led to him figuring out the key factors — antimemes and dreams.
To ordinary people, this was of course a preposterous suggestion. How could the subconscious mind be so intelligent? Nonetheless, for Chen Chen who had taken NZT-48, all this was not impossible…
After all, this drug had never disappointed him.
Chen Chen thought silently.
Still, if this was the case, then all of this would be truly alarming. He had been infected with an antimeme without being aware of it?
However, where did this antimeme come from? The dimension of Gantz?
No, it was impossible!
If it was transmitted from the Gantz dimension, would this not mean that the USB drive did not have the power to shield any memetic effects? Then, it would have been impossible for him to get rid of the entanglement of the memetic effect "Thuds".
Therefore, these two causal relationships were in conflict.
As such, since it did not originate from the world in Gantz, where did this antimeme come from?
The commercial vehicle drove fast on the flat road and soon left the Eco Science City and moved toward the industrial park.
Inside the vehicle, Chen Chen fell into deep thought.


Who could have guessed that the accidental discovery of a pitch-black USB drive would one day turn Chen Chen’s world upside down? 
He quickly realizes that this was no ordinary USB drive—and it came with mysterious powers, along with its own hidden rules. Equipped with his skills and intellect as a student of biological science, Chen Chen strives to uncover the limit of the USB drive, and the limit of his own ambition. 
Follow Chen Chen in his pursuit of lofty aspirations—wealth, immortality, and otherworldly powers! It is a path that will lead him to a grand plan, one that will change the fate of humanity forever…


Uru: Those are some good questions, you're quite bright.

Xeo: I just thought of what I needed to know and asked without holding back. It's not like you're going to speak much of yourself or you wouldn't be so hidden in the first place.

Uru: I can't say that you're right but I won't say that you're wrong. You should already have an idea about where we are.

Xeo: Is it a dream?

Uru: It is kind of like a dream but not really. Dreams occur in reality but the things that occur in your dreams can be considered fiction. They are real in that they did truly happen, but they are fiction as well because the same events did not occur in the reality you are currently experiencing outside of your sleep state.

Uru: So.... I'll put it simply. You were previously in a dream, however, once the darkness surrounded you and drowned out your perception, everything changed. You are now in a half dream state and half meditative state. You are both asleep and awake, different parts of your brain are operating differently due to me. So that should answer your first question. You're inside your own mind and I am inside it as well and we are conversing with each other. Your physical body is still laying in your bed at home.

Xeo: It was a bit confusing at first but I seem to understand. I'm ready to move on.

Uru: The next question you had is simple. But I'll answer all of them together because it's easier.

Uru: Yes, you will be able to go back to your normal life. Nothing will change at all, the only difference is that you just won't remember having this conversation with me and you will not remember meeting me at all. 

Xeo: What would happen then? How much of my memory will be erased?

Uru: In your dream you ran towards the light and darkness surrounded you. That it all you will remember and you won't remember anything after that. It will feel like a normal sleep and you won't even notice the difference. Just like you have dreams everyday, everyday your dream comes to an end. Do you remember the endings exactly, have you ever remembered how 'dreams' end at all?

Xeo: Now that I think about it.... no. What really happens at the end of my dreams? Perhaps it just comes to an abrupt end and I return to darkness, just like how it is when you close your eyes and try to fall asleep. 

Uru: Yes, exactly. The memory erasure won't change much. Now, I'll try to answer all of it at once. Yes, you'll be able to go back and everything will be the same as if we never met in the first place. The last question, why are you here..... So, you can return to your normal life on one condition. I will ask you a question and depending on your answer. You will either be able to leave and go back to your normal life, or you will have to come back with me.

So Xeo, do you wish to be strong? 

A journey towards strength and the hardships that come alongside it. Nothing is given for free and everything must be fought for.

A young man transmigrates and so begins his journey.

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