Review Detail of CopyPaste1 in Am I a gamer?

No clear vision? Mann, maybe i am not emphasising enough that he wants to meet his original parents

That's hardly enough. I did not read the story yet but... just a bit of advice. Take it or leave it, I don't care but here it is: When you write MC there are really only two ways how to go about it. (Yeah, there is more but those are not usually used and very rarely done well. You are sooner to completely ruin your story by trying to force it that way than actually doing it any justice so... in the end, it all falls into these two categories). First is the usual MC with a set goal. And don't get me wrong, the goal has to be something important for the story. Like Luffy's desire to become the Pirate King or Naruto's desire to be the Hokage. As annoying as they are, they MADE the story. Imagine Naruto without his drive and desire to be a Hokage. It would be totally boring read. So, your 'The MC wants to get back to his original parents' is simply not good enough. Maybe you will, later on, spin it into them being very important or special in some way but if the reader doesn't see that at the start, it is not important for him, and therefore he won't care and probably will just drop the story. Also, a plot focused on MC trying to get back to his original world is not usually very well received in the fanfiction genre because the entire point of this genre is putting your MC into another universe. People read it because that's what they want to see. An MC in a familiar universe and what he would do. Not someone who wants to desperately go back to his own universe. ... The second way to make MC good is to not introduce any goal for him and just let him go through his life and make everything happen 'naturally' but in this case, you have to be quite good at making a good plot and motivate your MC with the circumstances around him that will force him to participate in the events of your story without making it seem too forced. An example would be Saitama. He doesn't really have a goal. His desire to have a good fight is what drives him to be the hero but that's hardly a worthwhile goal that could make a story. For Saitama, everything is simply happening around him and he takes action as he pleases without really being driven by some higher goal. // Dunno if I explained it right and sorry for the long comment.

you see ..ok lets say I get it,the Mc wanna go back to his old family. If and i say again If he wanna go back he must be at the level of ABOVE ALL he must be the gods of the gods cause Im sure noone below h can change universes! So having the Mc saying every 2-3 chapters about his family or make him look depressed it seem to me very bad idea..he has a new life but looking always back hoping he gonna be a GOD and leave this universe...! I see a depressed person not someone with clear goals!