You have a potentially good story. I would suggest you write a bit of world-building because I am confused about the setting of the story. is it in China or somewhere else? I would like to see descriptions of places and characters. I also would advise you to look up how to write in the active tone of voice instead of passive. this story has some grammar issues. other than that keep up the good work.

I think you meant to write she instead of he

I would suggest you put a period after questioning and capitalize the I in if it might be easier to read the paragraph

need a sperate line for I merely nodded because it sounds like the mc is saying it instead of the police

this has a lot of commas I would suggest maybe rewrite

You have a decent story so far. I enjoy reading it. I want to know if the story happens in the present or is it set in a futuristic setting? I would suggest you describe the places and people a bit.

thank you

Thank you i will keep that in mind

A very nice plot in your story Characters is unique. I would suggest you give a bit more information on the setting. Sentence structures need to work on and grammars

lovely story. i like the concept. keep working on it..........................................................................................................................................

This book has great potential. I like the characters. I think the story needs a more active voice instead of passive storytelling...............

thank you. yes, I will update as soon as I can

interesting plot. I like it. I would suggest you write a description of the places. I would like to know what heaven looks like to you. After the characters fall where are they living? which country and city

A sweet story I love it. you write great. I like the characters. I can't wait for what happens next. keep up the good work............................

a cool story you wrote. Since there not many chapters I can't see how the story will go. I had a tough time figuring out the setting and you should have a bit more descriptions of places

the cool story you created. i can feel the spooky atmosphere. i like the characters. keep writing on it. [img=coins] have fun : ) .............................

Thank you

I like the short story. you write very well. I like the characters. I laugh a bit [img=coins] I hope you create more stories so I can read them.

Thank you so much. Yes, I am not dropping the book. I'm trying to get a lot of stockpiles so I can post daily

I see a nice story. you describe the scene well This reminds me of the novel solo leveling. I like it very much