Set 118

Improved Vision!

A group of fellows always enjoyed their game of golf, but one of the boys was having trouble seeing the ball. His friends kept telling him he needed glasses.

Finally, he bought himself a pair, and his game improved 100%.

Back in the clubroom, they were talking over a few beers. "You're playing better since you got your glasses," one said.

"You're right, I look down, and the ball's as big as a basketball, just can't miss it now," he said. After a few more beers, he said. "Gotta go to the toilet; be back in a minute."

When he came back, the front of his trousers was all wet.

"Gee, what happened to you?" his friends asked.

"I don't know," he replied. "I got in there, pulled it out, and it looked too big to be mine, so I put it back.

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Horny Husband

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. "Don't you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.

"Oh, I still love him," the chick replied. "But all he ever wants is sex, I can't take it."

"Instead of divorcing him why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested. The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try. As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the hard word on her.

"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."

"Well, then," he said. "Here's $50."

The wife began walking to the bedroom, "Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That'll be five times in the kitchen!"