Set 109

The 2nd Greatest Pain

One day, a man walked into the dentist"s office for some dental work.

The dentist said, "Sir, you have a tooth I must pull, What type of pain killer would you like?"

The man looked at the dentist and said, "None, thanks, I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life."

The dentist said, "Sir, pulling this tooth Will be painful, I suggest a painkiller." The man looked back at the dentist and said, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, Nothing else will ever compare."

The dentist said, "Sir, I"m telling you, use a painkiller."

The man again said to the dentist, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, I do not need painkillers, now pull the tooth."

The dentist now curious, "Okay, You asked for it, But first, tell me what was the second greatest pain in your life?"

The man said, "Yes, I remember it well. I was hunting in the woods north of here one snowy day. Walking through the woods, the urge came upon me and I headed over to a tree. Well, I started to do my thing, and when the first part dropped, It set off a large bear trap that was hidden in the snow that closed on my balls. That was the second greatest pain in my life"

The dentist then said, "Ouch! But then what was the first greatest pain in your life?"

The man replied, "When I reached the end of the chain."

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Statues Revenge

There are these two nude statues, man and woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park.

A few hundred years after they've been put in place, an angel flutters down to them. A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues have been given flesh, and they step down from their pedestals.

The angel says, "I have been sent to grant the mutual request you both have made after hundreds of years of standing across from each other, unable to move. But be quick-you only have fifteen minutes until you must become statues again."

The man looks at the woman, and they both flush, and giggle, and run off into some underbrush. An intense rustling comes from the bushes and seven minutes later, they both come back to the angel, obviously satisfied.

The angel smiles at the couple. "That was only seven minutes-why not go back and do it again?"

The former statues look at each other for a minute, and then the woman says, "Why not? But let's reverse it-this time, you hold down the pigeon and I'll shit on it..."