I Just Want To Help

[Zain's Point-of-view]

"I know, I'm sorry," Evelyn said her eyes downcast. Jinhai gripped her shoulders from behind but said nothing.

"I have to go make sure she's okay," Zain said then turned from his brother and Evelyn. He rushed out the door and hoped Phoenix hadn't driven away.

He found her inside her car, her head against her steering wheel. His heart clenched at the sight of it.

He hated seeing Phoenix cry. He didn't know what to do when someone cried. So he always over compensated.

He approached her window and knocked on it. She lifted her head to glance out the window. She rolled the window down and wiped the tears away.

"Leave me alone, Zain," she said. "No," he said. He reached in and pressed the unlock button and had her door open before she could react. He reached in- not unkindly- and tugged her out of the seat. He walked her around the hood of the car and seated her in the passenger seat. He closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he rounded the car and slid into the driver's seat. He found her key in the ignition and turned it to start the car.

"Where do you have to go?" he asked, ignoring her question. "My restaurant," she answered. He didn't question it and he drove her there. The restaurant was closing for the night and Phoenix told the staff to go home. She locked the doors behind them as they made their way to her office.

He glanced around. He had never been inside her office before and he looked around to admire it. She sat down in her chair and he sat across from her.

She picked up the pile of receipts in front of her and began to calculate today's totals. He noticed another pile and he pointed at it.

"Is this for yesterday?" Zain asked. She glanced at them and nodded.

He gathered them in front of him and began to count. She didn't stop him as she continued with her batch. He finished before she did and grabbed a pen to write down the results.

He wrote down the totals of the recipients and sat patiently while she finished hers. It didn't take her much longer than he did.

"You were fast," she commented. "There were more in your stack," he replied. That wasn't true but she appreciated his effort.

"Why did you come with me?" Phoenix asked. "Because I wasn't about to let you go off somewhere on your own," he replied easily. Phoenix bit her lip.

She cleared away her desk then turned to make her way to the kitchen. Zain followed her and kept a respectable distance.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. It's been that way since forever. Whenever she was in a room, her presence demanded his attention. And he gladly gave it.

One thing he missed more than anything was her easy going smile. A smile he hasn't seen in five years and he knew he was to blame.

'She still cares about you,' Evelyn told him. He let those words repeat themselves. He could only hope that they were true. If he stood a chance at forgiveness then she had to at least still care about him.

"What are we doing in here?" he asked her. "I need to grab the food for tomorrow," she answered.

"Why?" Zain asked. "Because I'm going to cook it at my parents," Phoenix answered. "The restaurant was completely booked."

"I see," Zain replied. A plan began to form in his mind. They entered the kitchen and Phoenix turned the lights on as they moved toward the refrigerator.

"So what were you planning on making? He asked her. "Korean barbecue," she answered. She grabbed the bags of meat that she had bought earlier and then went to grab the seasonings and everything else.

Zain helped her carry it to the car. After they were buckled in, he started the car and took off.

"Take me to my parents please," Phoenix said. "You were going to cook a meal for ten people by yourself?" Zain asked.

"Wouldn't be the first time," she answered. Zain had no intention of letting her cook the meal herself, nor did he intend on taking her back to her parents.

He didn't voice any of this, he was well aware he was essentially kidnapping her but he didn't pay it any mind.

He wasn't going to hold her hostage, but he intended on convincing her to stay. It was already close to midnight and the food needed to be prepped before they went to bed.

"Wait, where are we going?" Phoenix asked as she looked around. "My house," he answered.

"What!?" Phoenix asked. "Zain turn the car around." He pulled over and put the car into park.

"I want to help you make dinner. It's already almost midnight and it's going to take you a while to prep. I doubt you really want to go back to your parents or your apartment right now," Zain reasoned.

"That doesn't mean I want to stay with you," she answered defiantly.

"Please let me help. I won't do anything. I'm just offering you a refuge," he pleaded. In truth he didn't plan to do anything untoward. But it wasn't safe out there right now and Zain would feel a lot better if Phoenix were under his roof.

They stared at each other in a staring contest for what seemed like hours. Zain hoped he looked as sincere as he felt. Phoenix was stoic as she quietly regarded him.

"Fine," she said. Relieved he started to drive again. He picked a radio station with mellow music as he drove them to his place. He was glad he kept the place clean.

He parked in front of his house and got out to open the door for her. He used his phone to turn the lights on and he carried all the groceries inside.

He took his shoes off and went to set everything down in the kitchen. Phoenix stayed at the entrance and took in her surroundings.

Zain had designed his house to her liking when he had first bought this piece of property. One of things they had talked about in the past, was how they would design their future home and Zain had remembered every detail. It had been his way of keeping a piece of her.

He offered her a pair of slippers and led her further into the house. He led her to the kitchen where she began to wash her hands. He washed his hands in the adjourning sink then began to pull out containers, cutting boards, and knives for them to begin prepping. He set them on the counter and she took out the foods to begin washing.

She quickly went over the menu and he offered suggestions that she decided to take. It was beginning to feel much like old times.

He had a better knack for flavors where she had a better cooking technique.

- - - - -

[Phoenix's Point-of-View]

It took them almost an hour to finish prepping all the food and to clean up. When they finished he gave her a grand tour.

She followed him as he showed her the living room, the guest room, the study, his home gym, and concluded the tour with his bedroom.

His room was a blue-grey with dark wooded furniture. His bed was black with a padded headboard. He watched her as she observed his room. Her eyes settled on the bed and her eyes flashed with curiosity and pain.

She wondered how many women he's brought to his bed since that night. She knew she had no right to wonder or to ask. But the idea was almost too painful to bear.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She shook herself and plastered a smile on her face.

"Nothing. Thank you," she said thanking him for the tour. "I'm going to go to bed," she said and turned from his room. He caught up to her after a moment.

"Phoenix," he said just outside the bedroom door. He held out a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "They might be big but they'll be comfortable," he offered. She took them from him with a "thank you."

"Good night," she said as she started to close the door. Just before the door closed Zain flattened a palm against it. She opened the door and this time he took a small step closer.

Phoenix didn't move but kept the door between them. "Just one more thing. There hasn't been anyone else, Phoenix," Zain said. Phoenix felt elated but kept her face impassive.

"I didn't ask. And it's none of my business," she said calmly. "You're free to do whatever you want with whomever you want."

"Perhaps, but I only want to do 'whatever' with you," Zain replied. Then he turned and walked away. "Good night," he said without turning around.

Phoenix watched him turn the corner and waited until she heard the gentle click of a door in the distance. She closed her eyes tightly.

Why did he have to be so charming? Why was it that he could still make her feel so happy and sad at the same time.

She closed the door and locked it. She knew that the lock meant nothing. He could easily come in if he wanted to. But it gave a measure of peace.

She took a shower using the toiletries in the adjourning bathroom. They were generic brands and gender less, yet somehow made her feel calmer.

She put on his shirt but left the pants on the edge of the bed. Then she climbed in and pulled the covers over her. She lay in bed for a long time, listening out for Zain.

She couldn't hear him but she knew he was there. He was as always, so close yet so far away. Eventually she drifted asleep whispering Zain's name to the dark room.