Section 47: Budding Feelings

"Hey, Aria" I called Aria who's still focused on the road ahead.

"Yes?" she answered nonchalantly.

I whispered next to her so that the other couldn't hear.

"What's up with Kallen? He's been pretty quiet for a while" I asked her as I glanced at the quiet Kallen. "Did something happen?".

She rubbed her chin, thinking about the answers she will give.

"Not sure, but I don't recommend you push him for an answer" Aria added. "He's not feeling that great at the moment".

Aria seems to know what happened to Kallen, but since she warned me not to intrude on his issues then I wouldn't ask for more. Kallen walked slowly behind us, a gloomy expression clouding his usually calm expression. Not long after, Aria stopped in her tracks. Tristan and I looked over at the dazed Aria.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"Kallen, show us the way" she ignored my question and stared at Kallen. "There's a dividing path up ahead, you're the only one who knows".

Kallen nodded obediently and walked ahead of us. We followed him quietly, the airs filled with painful silence. Realizing this, Tristan started to initiate a conversation with the gloomy Kallen. I'm not sure what they are talking about, since Aria and I are quite far from them. However, it's good to see Kallen smiles a bit as Tristan cracked some jokes.

"In the end, he's still a young boy," Aria added. "A teenager".

"Yeah, you're right" I nodded in agreement. "It's strange to see that Vladimir entrusted Kallen with a heavy task, he's even responsible for everything in the camp".

"I guess Vladimir shares some of his administrative works with Kallen" Aria replied in deep thoughts. "And that he is his father".

"Not a biological father, right?" I asked for her opinion. "I doubt that for some reason".

Aria is in deep thoughts again, she rubbed her chin and furrowed her eyebrows toward Kallen's steady figure.

"I have a theory," she muttered. "However, it is a baseless theory for now".

"So, you won't tell me?" I asked her.

"No" she replied coldly.

As soon as we reached a fork, Kallen pointed toward the left side.

"It's through here" Kallen leads the way.

As we walked further into the depths of the sewer, I had a bad feeling about this. I'm not sure whether the plan will work perfectly just like how Aria envisioned. Noticing my doubts, Aria tapped my shoulder.

"Why are you nervous? You already had a gun and a bat with you right?" Aria encouraged me.

"That's true, but I'm lacking confidence" I laughed awkwardly. "I just wish that I can be stronger in desperate times like this".

"If you put in the effort, I'm sure you'll get used to it" Aria sighed. "It's not a great feeling though".

"It's not? Isn't it better to be stronger and let people depend on me more?" I asked her.

"Not really, I don't like it when people depend on me" Aria grimaced. "It makes my chest heavy as if I'm responsible for their well-being".

So that's how Aria sees things, I guess that explains her lack of enthusiasm in me depending on her every time we're in a dire situation. The stronger they are, the more responsibility they carry I suppose. I wonder how's my dad, mum, and little sister. Did they survive this chaotic mess? Or did they die? Sometimes the thought that I'm alive because of Aria, makes me feel guilty.

"What if I'm the only one who survives?" I muttered to myself.

It seems Aria listened to me intently, she immediately replied firmly.

"Then try to survive" she lowered her gaze.

* * *

The more we venture deeper, the stinkier it gets. The smell of junks and trash started to penetrate my sense of smell. The annoying smell made my head dizzy, I could feel that the atmosphere was starting to make my skin go itchy.

"We're almost there," Kallen added.

We walked forward and yet we found another obstacle, another fork that we needed to decide.

"Both lead to the same location, but different exits" Kallen rubbed his sweaty temples. "So which one should we go for?".

It's been almost one and a half hour journey since then, Aria must have wanted to do a quick recon to avoid wasting more time.

"We split teams," she remarked. "And then we'll get back here, once we scouted their base".

"Okay, that sounds good," Tristan nodded in agreement. "How about the others?".

"I don't know, I'll just follow" I sighed. "But in horror movies, usually splitting up means we're gonna die".

"Hey! Stop being so negative!" Tristan hit my head pretty hard. "You're demotivating us all".

Aria cleared her throat and assessed the situation for us.

"Alright, we're just going to scout the enemy base, find any information about the base" she affirms. "Then get back here in an hour, if you're not coming back here in an hour then it'll be a disaster".

"Disaster?" I raised my brows.

"Of course, that means someone got caught" Aria sighed at me. "It would be nice if we could avoid danger".

"Right" I nodded at Aria's worrywart attitude.

She's like our guardian by now, the one who supervises our reckless action.

"Alright Tristan, you're with me" Aria ordered. "Kallen, you're going with Joel".

I am a little bit flabbergasted with how quickly she decided the team order, but then again was disappointed as well. Why am I being paired with Kallen, instead of her? Did I do something bad? No, that can't be. I seriously need to stop thinking so negative lately, it's been in my head for now.

The smelly and skunky atmosphere around me doesn't help me think in a positive light, as well. However, as I succumbed to my negative thoughts, Aria closed the gaps between us.

"Are you thinking about something useless again?" Aria scoffed.

She caught me red-handed.

"What do you think?" I smiled nervously.

Aria pat my head gently, her smile is more relaxed and gentle than how she usually smiled at me. Her scarlet eyes glazed in warmth and conviction.

"You've already practiced, I'm sure you can do it Joel" she praised me. "Well, correction I don't know whether you can do it or not".

She praised me then she made me feel bad about it again, she's so complicated.

"However, your efforts won't go to waste" she assured me. "So, whatever happens, accept it as it is Joel".

Aria is somewhat changed from the usual cold attitude, she's somewhat warm and kinder these days. Her sarcasm is still her strong suits, but since hanging out with Kallen, she's changed a bit. I wonder what's inside her mind right now.

We parted ways, Aria goes with Tristan to the right path. Kallen is with me, to the left path. As soon as Aria is out of my sight, my heart trembles in fear.

"No, I have to be strong" I shook my head.

I try to reassure myself with self-encouragement, as I watch Kallen back from behind. He looks at me, maybe worried about my pathetic figures trembling like fallen leaves.

"Are you scared?" Kallen asked me.

I couldn't lie, Aria has been the reason why I feel calm. Not seeing her by my side has left a deeply uncomfortable hollow inside me. It's like she's my lucky charm, the reason for my safety. However, I am determined to protect everyone this time. I cannot falter my determination this time, I have to see through the end.

"To be honest, I am scared" I gulped. "But, this is no time to be scared".

"I see" Kallen smiled a bit. "Do you want to impress her?".

"Her?".

"Big sis Aria" Kallen grinned.

"Huh? No, I wouldn't even dare".

"But that's how you look right now! I mean you're determined to be stronger so that you can protect everyone, right?" Kallen asked.

"Yeah, that's true" I nodded.

We walked toward the exit, at a normal pace. I could see the exit from the distance, it seems I'm starting to lose my cool the more we're closer to the enemy base.

"Well, what about big sis Aria? What do you feel about her?" he asked.

"What do I feel? She's a friend" I told him outrightly.

"But big bro Joel, I heard what you talk about with Ender the other day" Kallen grinned mischievously. "The way you replied to him back then, you like her don't you?".

Like? What exactly is he babbling about? I have no idea what Kallen implied. Aria has been protecting me all this time, it is only wise to protect her back. That's what I wanted for her, for her to be secured from the danger. She sacrificed her back, her well-being that day, to save a frightened man like me.

"I just want to repay my debt," I told him.

"Are you sure? You're lying" Kallen spoke with affirmation.

"What? I'm not" I pouted.

However, when I spoke that word a memory of Aria hurting her back flashed in my mind. The way she stood up back then for me, shine dazzlingly under the shadows. It reminds me of the time when I spent the first night with Aria.

Her dazzling scarlet eyes shine bright under the moonlight, hypnotized by her sharp gaze. I was drawn toward the valor in her eyes. It is wrong for me to like Aria, I know she already likes someone else.

"But she likes him," I muttered.

"Who?" Kallen pretended to be oblivious.

I'm sure he knows what I'm talking about, it's Ender. His affection for Aria is so obvious, that even Kallen and I can tell.

"So what is it going to be?" Kallen looked at me.

I looked down to the ground, uncertain about my feelings.

"Kallen, I-".