Section 14: The Vicious Cycle

I wake up just like that, with a nightmare engulfing my mind I panted heavily as I got up the bed. I looked at the mirror and noticed just how terrible my complexion is. The bathroom is my only answer, I washed my face multiple times before I could fully grasp that those memories from three years ago were merely a dream and not reality.

I could find myself on the verge of tears as I recalled memories that I wish to forget. I rummaged through the wardrobe once again to find wearable clothes. I found another piece of clothing which is a Japanese school uniform. I had to say this love hotel may raise a hidden desire in men's hearts.

I prepared the necessary underwear and clothes for the shower, I just hope that Joel stays asleep for a while until I finish my shower.

I turned on the shower tab and let the water hit my scarred skins, the warm water freshened my mind a little bit. My back was still hurt, but I didn't want to let my voice out, I didn't want to disturb Joel sleep.

There's a soap bar on a handle next to the water tab, I decided to use it since the hotel soap package was still sealed shut. I felt rather itchy lately, I couldn't ignore the fact that there's a possibility that I might get infectious germs because of my lack of hygiene.

After about half an hour, I came out from the bathroom, fully dressed in a blue sailor Japanese uniform.

I should have stopped by a nearby department store for clothes. The cosplay costumes were too much for me to handle, even if I already wore pants underneath the skirt, it's still too uncomfortable for me to move freely.

"You're a clean freak?", Joel asked me out of nowhere. It seems he just woke up since his voice sounds drowsy.

I turned around to him, possibly with a flushed expression.

"Well, yeah" I answered.

"You're okay wearing that kind of costume?' Joel said shyly.

Now that he mentioned it, he made a valid point. I wore this costume as if it's normal to me, he might think of me as a freak. I coughed awkwardly, I had no ulterior motives for wearing these costumes other than to cover my naked body with clothes.

I told him to get some shower but he's too lazy to even get up from his couch, I glared at him menacingly but Joel didn't budge from his couch.

"Come on, there's no need to be so uptight", Joel said boringly.

"Being clean is important Joel, as a man you have to dress smartly and neatly!", I accidentally blurted out what I was thinking.

"Geez, even during the apocalypse?" Joel groaned.

Joel sighed as he walked slowly to the bathroom, when he was about to undress I turned my head away from him. I almost forgot that the bathroom wall was invisible, we should have brought a wallpaper if we had the chance but I doubt we had since it's an apocalypse.

"Hey it's just a thought of mine but it's pretty cool", I said to Joel who was in the middle of showering.

"What is it?" he asked me.

"The fact that we lived like a married couple is weird" I laughed jokingly.

After I said those sentences, Joel didn't reply to me back. I'm not sure why he didn't reply to me back, I wish I could have turned around and seen his expression but If I turned around, he would have called me a pervert.

I played with my skirt fabric, pinched and squeezed it due to the silent treatment Joel gave me. I sat on the bed, still averted my gaze from the invisible wall. Joel came out from the bathroom, he sat close to me with a towel on his neck.

He's already well dressed in formal clothes he found from the hotel wardrobe.

"Did you mean that?", he looked at me shyly.

"Huh?", I looked at him confused.

He looked at me seriously but then he shook his head as if he wanted to get rid of what he's thinking.

"Never mind, anyway I'm kind of excited to see other survivors so I might cook for four people in total", he smiled at me genuinely. "Today breakfast is toast sandwich, cause it's easier to make this stuff ya know".

I nodded to his eagerness, I always thought Joel as a pacifist and quiet so I was taken back by his sudden eagerness. He looked pretty introverted himself, so it was strange to see Joel hyped up for this. Joel and I walked side by side, he wrapped the sandwiches beforehand with plastic that he stole from the mini-market yesterday.

The drones were still pretty annoying to deal with though, I had to keep Joel close to me otherwise his lack of surrounding might get us killed instantaneously. Some drones found us, but I could handle it with my mighty metal bat swing. I had a feeling that I somehow got used to these drones attack patterns, it's no longer surprising anymore.

I followed Joel from behind, he seemed energetic even though he tried to keep his calm composure. His eagerness and smile while carrying his lunch boxes, I had to fix his route several times because he was absent-minded along the way.

Joel is truly a child at heart, he has never been my ideal. However, as I continued my journey with him I noticed something feels off within my heart. I inputted Joel in Wishmaker as my ideal, my beloved admiration. But I noticed how he was far from my ideal and wishes, what is it exactly that I expected from Joel?

"Hey Aria", Joel poked my shoulder.

"Mhm?", I looked at him questionably.

"Is that the apartment block you told me about?", he pointed to a tall brown building ahead.

I remembered the building structures and color perfectly, yes this must be the apartment where the couple stayed in. I nodded in affirmation, I walked cautiously to the apartment building just in case drones were present.

I walked upstairs, Joel followed me from behind obediently and his energetic attitude was still present. When I ascended to the second floor, I saw the most horrifying scene unfolded.

In front of the door, I saw a large pool of blood, I told Joel to get behind me as I kneeled and touched the surface of the blood on the floor.

The blood on the floor was still fresh, although the temperature and the color have somewhat changed a bit. I opened the door and saw the lifeless body that once belonged to the energetic basketball player. Next to that lifeless body was her wife Ellis. Elis was beyond horrified, her pupils dilated as she covered both of her ears with tears on both of her cheeks.

Joel was horrified as he saw that, I could see that he tried to contain his vomit when he saw that gruesome scenes unraveled in front of him.

I examined Nash's lifeless body who was covered with his blood, he was tied with chains around his wrist. His throat was slit wide, he probably died due to a massive blood loss. Nash's face was noteworthy, surprised, and shocked, so he was probably ambushed from behind.

His face was expressionless, his death was quick and painless. I looked at Ellis, she was in a bad state too. Her clothes were all disheveled, she was half-naked from the top to the bottom.

Not only that, she had burn marks and scars on her arm and legs. I could feel my vision darkening when I saw Nash's corpse on the floor, he was always so cheerful and energetic, yesterday we just met and he was alive along with his beloved wife Ellis. He always tried to defend Ellis and protect her, but here he is now lifeless and soon his body will decay.

Joel looked at me meaningfully as if to indicate that I should ask how she's feeling and her current condition.

"Why can't you ask her yourself?", I rolled my eyes annoyed.

I have never been good with people, especially the sad ones. Although I had to say, I am curious about what happened in this room and what caused Ellis to be in this pitiful state.

"Ellis, what's going on here?", I asked the frightened woman in front of me.

Ellis pushed me away from her, she ran to the wall and closed her face in agony. She cried uncontrollably, which made no progress in my investigation to unravel the truth behind Nash and Ellis' pitiful state.

I assigned Joel to take care of Ellis, which he obliged awkwardly. I kneeled on the floor and saw the wooden floor was bloodied as if someone scratched on them until their nails came off.

There was a trace of broken nails on the floor, I hated to admit it but these nails could belong to her. There were also used cigarettes on the floor, someone must have smoked but both Ellis and her husband didn't seem to be a smoker.

"Wait, then what happened to Elis was-", my mind suddenly realized the dark truth.