Part 4

This... This is bullshit.  Fuck it, you must be crazy.  ' I said, when I finally regained my ability to speak. When I thought of my father's always reassuring blue eyes, it never crossed my mind that he might be the leader of a bloodline.  I already knew he wasn't human," I said, pointing my eyes at Raven. I continued in a helpless voice. I stopped with a sigh, feeling so confused and stupid… Why hadn't my father told me anything?

"And why didn't he tell me that? Why was Raven following me?"  Raven looked into the palm of her hand, then turned her eyes to me.  A straight glance passed between us for a few seconds.

"If Raven had waited until the time she had to appear before you, your father would have explained everything to you on this birthday. But after the recent events, he sent me back here to explain. Raven has been specially assigned to you to check if her powers have been exposed. Her main job is in the Shadow. To give education. So do I. I haven't set foot here for a long time, to be honest, thanks to you, I mingled with people again."  said Goat, smiling at me.

"It's all so crazy... It's hard to believe."  When I said that, the indecision and helplessness in my tone was not obvious.

"Is it crazy on your fingers? I know you'll think a lot about this and have a hard time accepting it. You suddenly find yourself in a completely different realm. You have a whole life ahead of you, you can think as much as you want or ask for help from us."

"What, am I dominating the weather or something now?" I asked in a voice that I couldn't help sounding aggressive.

"You probably do. Of course we'll do something to make sure we understand that," he said as he got out of bed.

"What kind of things are you going to do?" I asked.

"You mustn't learn these things now. Not yet, Matilda. There will be thousands of people like you who will explain everything you need when you start your education. And once you've adjusted to everything, you've forgotten your indecisiveness."  he said, keeping his seriousness as always.

"Well, can I ask you something?" I said, seeing Goat and Raven getting up to go.

"Of course Matilda."

"Does my mother know all this you're talking about?" I asked.  Don't know, please.

"I don't think your father could have brought up such an important and dangerous subject to your mother. Your mother is probably unaware of everything."  When he said that, I took a deep breath.  If my mother knew such a thing and kept it from me, it would have caused serious resentment in me.

"What about my brother? Isn't the room like me?"  I asked this time.

"We had our doubts about his brother, but no, he is not Ateşoğlu. The human side is much more dominant."

"How did you know it was me?"  I asked, seeing Raven smile vaguely.

"Do you remember the day you went from the beach park to the gym early one morning on your way to the gym because a few dogs crossed your path?" he asked, the smile still on his face.  After the few minutes of reflection I needed, I nodded.  Standing in front of a tree that day was a girl in a long white dress who looked like she came out of a horror movie.  I was pretty sure that the girl's long black hair clearly covered every frame of her face.

"Yes, I remember," I said with a scowl.

"He was just standing in front of a big tree in the park and was looking directly at you. When your strong senses realized that, you went to that girl anyway, even though she was terrified."

"Yeah, he never answered me, even though I asked him if he was okay."

"And two days after that incident, you were being watched by Raven. No one but us can see the girl you saw. When you asked her a question, she didn't answer. Because that's forbidden, too. She told us where she is and who she is. The rest is obvious," he muttered.

"It's like a fantastic movie, wow, I'm just right," I muttered.

"This is just the beginning," Goat said just before leaving my room.

I expected Raven to come out too, but she turned to me and her night-black eyes stared into my eyes.  As his gaze reminds me of what I said to him only yesterday, shame lashed my cheeks as if whipped, and I blushed all over.  Biting my lower lip, his eyes drifted to his bandaged arm.  Looking at the bulge that was evident under his shirt, I was thrilled again with my madness.  My heartbeat was racing, as if I was riding a crazy roller coaster.  His gaze, which turned to me over his shoulder, was not a good omen.  After a while, he pulled out his phone and texted someone.  Then he turned to me again, and within seconds, a notification sound came to my phone on the nightstand.  When Raven turned around and left my room, I was staring at the message on my phone in amazement.  This was the number of the person I blocked on Whatsapp.

Person X: "For two years I've been waiting for my heartbeat to quicken, Camellia."

What did that mean now?

❄

As the schoolyard began to overflow with students, I realized that I hadn't heard the recess bell ring.  I hung the fleece cardigan over my black sweatpants on the branch of the tree in the garden because I got too hot when I ran.  I started walking in the direction of the tree as the wind blew the cold air against my bare arms.  I saw Kuzey and Mehmet standing in front of the tree with some of their classmates and they were getting more and more crowded.

"Matilda?"

I turned to him when North called out to me just as I made a move to get my sweater.  I looked at him with a small smile in response to his greeting.  I reached out and pulled the gray cardigan from the twig of the tree.  North was studying me with an interested eye as I slipped the sweater over my cold arms.

"I need to talk to you about something."  When he said that, I turned my eyes to his warm brown eyes.

"OK let's talk."

"Do you mind if we talk a little further?" he asked politely, and I couldn't help thinking about how many men in my life had approached me with such grace.

"Subject to."  When I said that, I pulled the zipper of my cardigan up.  As I stuffed my cold hands into my pockets, I pressed my fingers together with my warm hands.

As we climbed the five flights of stairs behind the guardhouse, North took off his cardigan and spread it on the top step where we were going to sit.  Sitting on the step, he looked carefully for a while and put on a reflective expression.

"Sit on it, I don't want to make you sick."  he said, smiling.

"Thank you."  After I said that, I sat down on his cardigan and looked at him so that he could talk.

"The thing I want to talk to you about is the events that have passed."  A tension took hold of my body.  "I'm not sure what I saw, but I saw what I saw," he said, and looked carefully at my frozen face.  "From the expression on his face, isn't it true that I saw that man? It's not all just my imagination."

"I do not understand what you wanted to say."  When I said that, an expression appeared on his face that showed that he didn't believe me.

"Please, Matilda, you know exactly what I mean. I also know that you saw that man, that the dead man died before your eyes as he tried to attack you. That man carried him to his car as if no one could see him, and walked away waving his hand."

"Are you sure you've seen these?"  When I asked her, she gave me a look as if to say what have I been telling you for two hours.

"I'm more confident than I've ever been."

"I haven't seen the man you're talking about, but..." I said, hoping he wouldn't realize I was lying.

"Okay, Matilda."  When he did, the bell rang.  As I was so happy for the first time at the bell that was my savior, I stood up.  As I handed North the navy blue cardigan I had bought as I got up, we mumbled a short goodbye and went back to our classrooms.

***

As I climbed the wooden meridians and made my way to my room, I overheard the male voice coming from my room.  It sounded so foreign, yet so familiar.  The closer I got to my room, the more familiar the lyrics were.

"I wanna love you

If you only knew how much I love you

So why not me..."

I slowly opened the door and poked my head inside.  He was sitting on my bed studying the fanbook I made for Enrique Iglesias when he was little.  That notebook was full of silly words and thousands of newspaper articles and photographs.  When he saw me, his tone instantly distorted and changed to raspy "Cock, cack" sounds.

"I wanna love you

If you only knew how much I love you

So why not me..."

I seemed lost in the enchanting tone of his voice as his words swirled around like a broken record in my head.  Could a voice be this beautiful?  He sang so beautifully that I couldn't stop it from swirling around in my head.  I was mesmerized.

"I'm not done with you yet, young lady!" I jumped at the sound of my brother's voice, and I saw Raven just standing there watching me.  My brother had been forced to find out what Raven was talking to me, and was angry when he failed.  Naturally, if a male fly saw a fly next to me, I guess his instincts for protection would kick in.  I locked the door and entered the room as a precaution against my brother coming into my room.  My eyes were on Kuzgun as I set my bag aside.

"You have a beautiful voice..." I said while listening to the song that was still floating around in my head.

He didn't answer.  He closed the notebook in his hand and put it back on his nightstand.  Then she lay down on my bed as if I wasn't there and put her wrist to her eyes, blocking the light from her face.  I sat on the edge of the bed and inhaled the scent rising from it.  It looked like a nice scent.  I couldn't quite figure out what it was.  It was like woody.  Well, I didn't know much about perfumes anyway.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a low voice.  It was the first time that my brother's room was next to me.  He pulled his arm away from his face and stared at me with his pitch-black eyes.  He took his phone out of his pocket, typed something, and turned the phone to me.

"Peace... "