The Beginning of Snow

It's hilarious, I mean seriously, life is a complete and utter joke and it played me, checkmate . Many love the winters as it's the end of the year, an end to doubtful thoughts , heart shattering events , and disgusting people . However, others like me feel nostalgic during the winter . When the wind is so sharp that it feels like knives .

The cold winter rain , with clouds full of doubtful thoughts , dripping into my head and seeping into my heart . The beginning of an end . Maybe it's because I've pretended to be someone who I clearly wasn't 3 years ago , for the greed of validation , superiority , and self esteem. Reminding myself of the year of losing every single friend I've ever made in my entire life . 3 years ago was the beginning of an end . The end to become a people pleasing monster , the fear of glimpsing into the mirror only to see mirrors , a reflection of everyone but myself . That's what I truly was , a mirror .

Fortunately , this mirror broke . A famous saying , you can never piece back the broken pieces of the mirror . However you can take back the broken pieces and create a new mirror , a mirror just for you and nobody else . My fear of taking up the room and people's inner thoughts and perception of me absolutely and completely annihilated me .

Of course if wasn't just others peoples fault for me being a monster of a person , the key to become a monster is fear . The truth is I was too much of a coward to say no , too much of a chicken to say how I truly felt fearing isolation . Tyrannically ruling on fear of other people . Fear is a powerful emotional, however thankfully it's not the strongest .

I've started my new beginning , last year however I wasn't satisfied . Sure I've realized that my redemption is satisfactory but never to me . This year , be happy . Never feel as if you are too much or too little . Never light yourself on fire during the harsh winter to keep other people warm . May this winter help you plant flowers that will bloom in the spring , a symbol of reincarnation .