The Rain Dripping Into My Soul

Not everyday is the day , not everyday is the best day , and certainly the day is not today . Maybe the gloomy weather has turned me gloomy , the blues turned me , or maybe the harsh and cold storms started to seep into me .

Honestly speaking , maybe January is the month where life cracks down . The waves slow down , the sun rises late , and my life state for better or worse , continues . The time of self acceptance or improvement . The time to make a choice wether it ends in chaos or peace .

Destiny , the final chapter . However destiny is cruel , spiteful , and incomprehensible. Why should anyone have to accept destiny simply because it's "meant to be" ? Who gets to dictate my ending ? Who's to judge my beginnings ? Destiny does not exist .

I refuse destiny and I will choose my own ending , my own happily ever after . Although the days are longer , the mornings are harsher , and the nights are sleepless . Knowing my life is in my own hands will always keep my heart warm .

There will be days where the harsh winds are needles piercing into your skin . The rain droplets pouring into your soul . The thoughts seeping into you , this feeling . . . what is it ? What is this feeling ? The feeling of my life changing or the feeling of change inside of me ? What am I feeling ?

Although this feeling brings me nostalgia , sadness , embarrassment , and resentment . Without this feeling , I wouldn't be able to become who I am . Never resent yourself for feeling , ever . Who would I be if I couldn't feel ? Who would I be if I couldn't be me ?

Yes , this gloomy weather has turned me blue , it's the only way . Flowers bloom because of storms . Hopefully I bloom after this storm too . For those who are having a difficult time right now in life , just know maybe just maybe , there will always be light at the end of the seemingly abyss tunnel.