Chapter 147 Daily Life of Aliens

After watching three episodes of "A Bite of Shenzhou" with Xinghe, Gao Yuan dozed off on the sofa.

Gao Yuan was really too sleepy, and when he was shaken awake, he found Xinghe's face, which wasn't exactly handsome but definitely not ugly, looming large in front of him.

"Wake up, it's time to eat!"

"Hmm, huh?"

Gao Yuan was slumped on the sofa when he realized that Ma Wenguang had come into the room at some point without him hearing.

After wiping his face, Gao Yuan stood up and said, "Director Ma."

Ma Wenguang smiled and said, "That... the donkey meat sandwich is ready. If you've rested enough, let's go eat."

Gao Yuan hurriedly said, "Oh, yes, I'll just wash my face and come over."

The place where Xinghe stayed couldn't be called a bathroom anymore; it deserved the name washroom.

Gao Yuan washed his face, and then he saw brand-new toothpaste and a toothbrush, which he used without hesitation. But while he was brushing his teeth, he saw through the mirror that Xinghe had followed him in.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I want to observe how you perform personal hygiene care. I need to learn and adapt to Earth's ways. I can no longer get the mecha's all-around protection and cleaning, so I have to try a more primitive method."

Gao Yuan paused, then nodded and said, "I'm brushing my teeth..."

"You just do it, I'll learn by watching."

It really was awkward. Gao Yuan washed his face and brushed his teeth. He wanted to take a shower but it didn't seem feasible now.

"That... can you step out for a moment? I need to use the toilet."

"You're already in the toilet, oh, I see, excretion!"

Gao Yuan couldn't help but laugh and said, "Yes, could you step out for a moment?"

Xinghe didn't move. He pondered for a long time and finally realized, "No, I must see your... method of excretion because I have been holding it in for a long time."

Gao Yuan really wanted to ask how they managed these things inside the mecha, but he decided not to ask that question.

Consider it a sacrifice for science.

It was just that this sacrifice for science and interstellar friendship felt too awful.

After Gao Yuan left the toilet, he pressed the flush button and said, "That's how it's done. Oh, that's for showering. Turn this and water comes out, and you can adjust the temperature like this. Basically, that's it."

"Using water for cleaning is really primitive. Sorry, I'm not being sarcastic, just sharing my feeling."

"Then how do you clean your body?"

"Waves, a kind of micro-wave that can remove any unnecessary attachments from the body."

"Harmless to the body?"

"Of course, harmless."

"Okay, and your clothes... you always wear them like this?"

Xinghe looked down at his bodysuit, then shook his head and said, "Of course not. We have many different styles of clothing, and many are quite similar to those on Earth. As for what I'm wearing now, this is the standard astronaut uniform. It's very comfortable and facilitates movement. On a spaceship, a bodysuit is obviously the best choice of clothing. Speaking of which, I think I need to take off this astronaut uniform."

Xinghe pressed a spot on his collar, and his clothes opened silently from top to bottom, unfolding like a sheet of paper being flattened after being folded.

Gao Yuan quickly turned his head as Xinghe stepped out of his clothes and sat on the toilet.

Gao Yuan took a deep breath and then realized that a single deep breath wasn't enough; he needed several.

"How did you do that?"

"What?"

"Your... astronaut uniform, how did it open so silently and effortlessly?"

"Oh, magnetic suction. It's like magnetic attraction. A very weak electric current triggered the joining and separation. If you could understand the first law of the universe, it's actually quite simple."

"I don't understand. How about putting it on?"

"Press it again and a weak electric current will automatically seal the astronaut uniform. Well, this isn't strictly an astronaut uniform; a mecha is the real astronaut uniform. What I'm wearing is just a personal comfort protection layer, it doesn't have much effect."

Listening to the sound of the water finally stopping, Gao Yuan wiped the non-existent sweat from his forehead and asked, "Is it done?"

"Yes, it's done."

Gao Yuan waited a moment, then slightly turned his head and saw that Xinghe had put his astronaut uniform back on, finally letting out a sigh of relief.

"Don't worry, of course I understand Earth's etiquette, haha."

Xinghe smiled, Gao Yuan laughed along, and then he immediately realized something was off.

If he knew Earth's etiquette, then why did he just take off his astronaut uniform right away, and from top to bottom at that?

It doesn't seem quite right.

But there's no denying that Xinghe's technology was indeed advanced. The clothes came off super quickly and went on even faster, all without making a sound.

"Let's go, time to eat."

"Alright, let's wash our hands."

Xinghe nodded and then said while washing his hands, "I'm coming into contact with Earth's microorganisms and viruses, cleaning with water, ha, this is really quite backwards. I can even imagine how microorganisms enter the body when eating with just the hands."

When Gao Yuan and Xinghe emerged from the washroom, Ma Wenguang was facing away from them, then when Ma Wenguang turned around, his expression was visibly off.

But Ma Wenguang had to force himself to appear very normal.

Gao Yuan pointed at Xinghe and said, "He has to learn everything, well, I'll teach him..."

"Understood, I get it, certainly, please follow me, the chef says donkey burgers are best when made and eaten fresh, so let's go eat in the restaurant."

Gao Yuan and Xinghe followed Ma Wenguang out. The restaurant was still in this highest security area, so there was no need to go out, and there was already a chef waiting there.

A soup pot, a stove, unfortunately, it was an electric stove and not a wood-fired one.

Ma Wenguang extended his hand toward the chef with a smile and said, "Master, we can start now, and please introduce us to the food."

"Alright, this donkey was slaughtered yesterday, and we just made these fresh pastries. They're still warm right out of the oven. Our family's donkey meat broth is the real deal, a century-old broth."

Xinghe frowned and interjected, "Hold on, a century-old broth?"

Gao Yuan quickly said, "That's an exaggeration, just an adjective, an adjective."

The master chef seemed a bit anxious and said, "It's not an exaggeration at all, I'm serious. When I was fleeing during wartime, I brought a jar of broth with me. If it wasn't for me last night..."

Ma Wenguang gave a look and then he said in a stern tone, "Master Yang, it's just an exaggerated saying. Ah, just hurry and make the donkey burgers, will you?"

Master Yang was taken aback and then resignedly said, "Alright, have a few."

Gao Yuan looked at the donkey burgers and turned to Xinghe, "This is a round burger, the meat is hot, and you eat it with hot broth poured over it. There's another kind that's long, with cold meat."

The master chef quickly interjected, "That's not authentic, not tasty!"

Xinghe immediately questioned, "Why isn't it authentic?"

Gao Yuan sighed, wishfully slapping his own mouth, but fortunately, seeing Master Yang hook out a large piece of meat from the soup pot, Xinghe sniffed and remarked, "Sense of smell, fragrance, undefined aroma, pleasurable."

Ma Wenguang watched Gao Yuan and saw him give a slight nod, indicating Ma Wenguang had guessed right.

So Ma Wenguang quickly told Master Yang, "Just focus on cooking, no need to chime in, alright?"

Master Yang began chopping the meat briskly, then he grabbed a pastry, stuffed in the chopped donkey meat, and finally ladled a spoonful of broth from the pot into it before wrapping it in a beautifully made paper bag and slid it forward.

Gao Yuan and Xinghe both reached out, but Xinghe's arms were longer, so he grabbed the burger first. Gao Yuan then subtly said, "Tidy up the paper a bit, so you don't eat it."

Xinghe didn't eat, he was observing. And then suddenly he said, "Donkey burgers, so the donkey meat is actually from a donkey? From the class Mammalia, order Perissodactyla, family Equidae, genus Equus, are we talking about that donkey, as in 'the last straw,' 'like beating a dead horse,' 'killing the donkey after it left the millstone,' and 'the donkey's downhill,' right?"

Gao Yuan nodded and said, "Yes, that's right."

"And what about the 'burger'?"

"The burger... is just the burger, uh, a pancake made from baking wheat flour, that's correct! This is the burger!"

Gao Yuan was somewhat pleased with himself, feeling like he had accurately described the thing with scientific terms.

"Wheat? From the kingdom Plantae, class Monocotyledones, order Poales, family Poaceae, subfamily Pooideae, tribe Triticeae, genus Triticum, that wheat?"

Gao Yuan felt a bit helpless, while Ma Wenguang and the master chef looked on in surprise. Then the master chef remarked with astonishment, "This... He's a foreigner, right? How does he know so much? He's a foreigner, isn't he?"

Gao Yuan took a breath and said, "Yes, exactly, the wheat you mentioned."

"So, is it common wheat, bread wheat, durum wheat, or another variety?"

Gao Yuan pondered for a moment, then he looked solemnly at Xinghe and said, "Just eat it, it won't taste good once it cools down!"

Ma Wenguang resolved to immediately summon botanists, agronomists, zoologists, especially gourmets to be on standby, ready to answer Xinghe's questions at any time. There was no way they could let Gao Yuan keep dodging questions in such a shifty manner, it would be an embarrassment for all Earthlings.

Xinghe bit into the burger, chewed, savored it, then took another bite, chewed, and savored it again. He nodded and declared, "It's tastier than the last thing I tried. I've remembered this, donkey burgers!"

Gao Yuan laughed, "Don't rush. Have a bowl of millet porridge and then some pickled vegetables. That taste, it's something, isn't it?"

Ma Wenguang immediately said, "Definitely have it!"

Gao Yuan looked at the master chef and ordered, "Give me ten burgers, and also cut me a plate of meat like this, a plate of intestine, and bring out two bowls of garlic vinegar. Oh, and slice up the heart and stomach too, you have those, right?"

"Yes, we have that!"

Gao Yuan rubbed his hands together and then said to Xinghe, "Come on, look at how I eat. Learn something."

Gao Yuan enjoyed his meal thoroughly, and Xinghe really watched. Then Gao Yuan finally realized the problem and said, "Eat together, you should eat as well. Director Ma, join us, won't you?"

Ma Wenguang wiped off his sweat and replied, "I've eaten already, eaten already."

Xinghe tried a bit of the meat, tried some of the intestine, and then he tasted it dipped in vinegar. After contemplating the flavors for a moment, he eventually nodded and said, "I like donkey, really, I like donkey a lot!"

Watching Xinghe and Gao Yuan eat continuously, Ma Wenguang couldn't hold back any longer and tentatively asked, "Uhm... will one donkey be enough?"

Gao Yuan glanced at the remaining donkey meat on the plates and then at the soup pot, nodded slightly, and said, "It's enough, I'm not very hungry and can't eat much. Leave some for Uncle Xiang and King Kong too; one donkey is enough for a meal."