The Divine Blades has a lot of potential, especially with its reincarnation and magic-based world. Soujin’s journey as a reluctant captain is engaging, but the story could benefit from more development in a few key areas.
For example, in Chapter 4: Captain's Meeting, many side characters are introduced briefly, but we don’t get much insight into their personalities. Adding personal traits or conflicts for the other captains could make the scene more memorable and make the stakes feel higher.
The dialogue, particularly in Chapter 7: Preparations, often feels a bit flat. When Soujin and Muffet talk about their mission, there’s a lot of straightforward back-and-forth, but not enough emotional tension. It’d be nice to see more hesitation or humor woven in, giving their relationship more depth.
Similarly, the action scenes, like the dragon fight in Chapter 3: Dragon Slayer, could benefit from richer descriptions. Instead of saying "Soujin slashed the dragon," you could slow down the moment with more sensory details: “Soujin’s blade scraped against the dragon’s hardened scales, sparks flying as the weight of the beast’s body strained his grip.” This would immerse readers more deeply in the battle.
In Chapter 5: Serious Matter, Soujin faces the pressure of leadership, but his inner struggles aren’t fully explored. Does he feel fear, excitement, or doubt? Expanding on his internal conflict would make him more relatable and add emotional depth to the plot.
Finally, the world-building is intriguing, but it could be more seamlessly integrated into the narrative. In Chapter 6: Money, for instance, you get a glimpse into the logistical side of being a Divine Blade, but it feels disconnected from the grander fantasy setting. Tying these details more closely to the world’s politics or culture would make the setting richer.
Overall, it’s a solid start, but fleshing out the characters, dialogue, and descriptions would take The Divine Blades to the next level. I’m looking forward to seeing how the story evolves!
