The Dreamer & the Failing Apologies

Yet again, it's April 1st, 2016. I hurried out the front door and made my way to school. I had a goal this time, and that goal gave me crazy motivation. The kind of motivation you'd only have once in life. It was crazy.

But…

"What the hell do you want?" said Kora as we stood in the cold morning hallway.

I looked at the ground with an expression of guilt.

"Nothing… I'm sorry."

I didn't know how to go about it.

It was now the 20th time that I had relived the same day. It was April 1st, 2016.

"How do I apologize to her?" I asked the girl whose hand I held in mine.

I was in the dream once again.

"Why ask me? You can relive the same day over and over again," she said.

"I know. And I'm embarrassed by what I said just now but I don't know how to go about this."

"Just apologize." She said in an annoyed tone.

"—"

I stayed silent.

It was easier said than done.

"Sorry? You're saying that you're sorry for something you said 3 months ago? Are you kidding me?" Kora said as the students who were walking in the hallway stood in place to hear the commotion.

My cheeks grew red.

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I am."

I walked away. The day ended in yet another failure.

"You know Ian," the girl in the dream said to me, "I don't think you can have a good apology if you did something really bad to the person," she said.

"So what are you trying to say? That I should just get the apology over with even if it's mediocre?"

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth," the girl said with a smile.

With my hand in hers, the girl lifted my hand to her face.

"Say, Ian, where do you live? Section 8 right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I'm starting to feel bad seeing you stress over this apology. I'm not the best at it either, but I can try and help you out."

"Really?!" I said with my hands clasped around hers.

There was an awkward silence as we looked into each other's eyes.

"Sorry," I said as I released my grip on her.

She laughed.

"Fufufufufu,"

"Stop laughing, please!" I said, my face red in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

The girl continued to laugh.

"I'm sorry," said the girl as she wiped a tear away from her eye. "You're just so awkward Ian."

I turned my head the other way.

"So, Ian," the girl said. "What is it you wish for?"

The awkward expression that I had grew worse.

"Do I have to say it?" I asked her, turning my head.

Her face was lit up, her eyes almost sparkling.

I sighed.

"I wish… I wish to see you," I said with a red face.

With her smug face, she raised her eyebrow.

"At what time?" she asked me.

I paused.

"At 10?"

"Make it 10:30," she said. "If I remember correctly, taking the train from Section 6 to 8 at 10 A.M. would take like 30 minutes."

"Got it."

"So," said the girl with a smug look. "What is it you wish for Ian?"

The bridge was collapsing from both sides.

"Didn't I tell you my wish already?"

"Just say it again!" she said squeezing my hand.

I groaned.

"I- I wish I can meet with you tomorrow at 10:30 A.M."

She smiled.

"I'll meet you near the train station okay? I'll call out to you waving when I see you okay?"

"Got it," I said with a smile.

"And maybe this time, you can finally know what my name is," she said as the bridge collapsed and the lake rose.

I found myself in my room once again, laying down as I stared at the ceiling with a smile.

The dream had ended, and a new one emerged.