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The Crafter and The Slug

Zach is a normal human thrown into something completely out of this world. He meets a Legendary Sannin in a bar and gets his ass whopped while his friend stands there and watches. Then gets blessed by a couple gods only to be put into a cheesy rom-com movie situation. Follow the lovey-dovey story of a man who's pull-out game is weak and the princess of Konohagakure. Can he survive on Naruto's world, or will he have to build a Death Star and just say screw it? Heads up, I know the beginning is really rough I'm sorry. I'm not good at starting stories, or even writing them. This is my third attempt at writing and the longest so far. I'm trying to keep to a two-a-day release schedule. From what I've been told the story picks up after Ch. 16, but he doesn't get very bad*ss until around Ch. 19 Discord: https://discord.gg/Eph2esQ

Yay_Pepto · アニメ·コミックス
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80 Chs

CH. 77

–Hitomi POV–

With the first week over, I've already come to several conclusions. First, Snape is an asshole and seems to really hate Harry. I've been brought up that snitches get stitches, but I'm close to telling Dad about it. If it does come to that, I hope Mom doesn't get involved. She can sometimes be a little bit too extra with us kids involved, I still shutter remembering her ringtone when we were sorted. Second is that s-s-s-stuttering Quirrel is a useless teacher, it seems like he's scared of his own shadow half the time. How do you think he would be fair if he had to defend against something? Third, History of Magic is a literal snooze-fest. It's not even because of my active personality that I find it a bore, hell I even caught Vulcan sleeping in class! I will say though, Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall is my favorite class. Call me biased, but when I saw her turn from a cat back to Human, she had my full attention. I can just imagine the amount of pranks I can pull off while acting like an innocent animal. 

During the week my friend group started to form around me. I tried to avoid Ron as much as possible, his attitude and lack of manners have thrown me off. But unfortunately, he sticks around Potter like a lost puppy, so we don't hang out as much because of that. Neville on the other hand I found out is a big sweetheart, though he does lack a spine. But he's like a better puppy than Ron, maybe Ron is more of a piglet than a puppy. But through Neville I was able to meet Hannah and Susan, what's really cool is that Susan's aunt is the head of the magical police!

I've mainly stayed within our grade as far as friends went. Vulcan on the other hand seems to be following in our father's footsteps. He has a 7th year named Tonks who seems to hang around him during their free time. She's cool I guess, she can change herself to look like anyone. I showed her a picture of Mom and she changed into an almost perfect copy of her. I'd never seen Vulcan run away faster than when he first saw her. We were both in stitches on the floor at the look of terror he had before fleeing. 

Another eventual thing that happened was when Malfoy decided to make a fool of himself again. We were starting our flying lessons and somehow Neville crashed his broom and broke his arm. As Madam, I can't believe she kept the last name, Hooch escorted Neville to the infirmary, and Draco found an orb that he dropped. Before I could say anything Harry called Draco out and wouldn't you know it, Draco made an ass of himself. Somehow he sent that orb flying, the distance would have made Dad even whistle. With quicker reflexes than most, Harry shot after the orb. Granted I know I could react faster, but Harry was already on the broom and confronted the used car salesman. Dammit, ever since Vulcan shared that thought it's been stuck in my head. 

Time passed for me fairly quickly, and our daily routines enhanced that process. Mom and Dad had written to us and let us know that they were back in New York. Why that mattered, I didn't know, but I still appreciated a bit of normality that came from the letter. Before I knew it, Halloween was upon us and I found myself in Charms class with my fellow lions and snakes. This lesson had us learning the levitation spell. Professor Flitwick instructed us to swish and flick out wands while chanting "wingardium leviosa". All in all, it was an easy spell, and I earned Gryffindor 5 points for doing it on the first try. But after that, my attention was distracted by Hermione trying to show Ron the correct way to cast the spell. 

Ron: "Wingardium Levio-suh"

Ron just flicked his wand, ignoring the swoosh before it. He tried it twice before Hermione butted in.

Hermione: "Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you're saying it wrong. It's Levio-sah, not Levio-suh."

Ron: "You do it then if you're so clever."

Ron spat that back to the bookworm and I shook my head at that. She was the 2nd smartest in our grade and was nipping at the heels of my brother. This red-headed dunce was dead last and kind of reminded me of cousin Naruto, but Naruto is more likable. Much to the shock of no one, Hermione showed the dummy up with her first cast. I could tell that it didn't sit well with the slacker, but most of the others ignored him to try and get their feathers to fly. 

It wasn't long after that class let out. I grouped up with Neville as we walked toward the great hall for dinner. In front of us was Harry, Seamus, and Ron who were talking quite loudly. As we walked Ron's filter on his mouth continued to not exist and he started to mock Hermione. I shook my head at the idiot who put down the person who was trying to help him. But before I could read him the riot act a brown bushy-haired bullet rushed by the whole group. When I realized who that was that ran off I glared daggers at Ron.

Hitomi: "You're a real piece of work, Weasley."

Before he could respond I was jogging my way in the direction that Hermione had run off to. I heard Ron grumble at Harry, asking him why is everyone suddenly mad. Shaking my head I turned the corner and caught sight of Hermione running into the girl's bathroom. Slowing down to a walk I thought about how I was going to approach Hermione about this. Eventually, my feet brought me to the door that led to the bathroom. I took a deep breath before I entered and then slowly opened the door and it let out a loud creek. I could hear the faint end of a sob and the quick breath of air of someone trying to hide the fact they were crying.

Hitomi: "Hermione, it's Tomi..."

Hermione: "GO AWAY! YOU'RE ALL THE SAME!"

Hitomi: "If I was the same as that jerk would I be here?"

That seemed to stun her for a second.

Hermione: "That doesn't change the fact that you're friends with him!"

Hitomi: "I'm not really friends with him, Harry is more my friend and Ron seems to not want to leave Harry's side. I bet if Harry says he needs to use the restroom Ron would be right behind him."

I heard a chuckle coming from the stall. Guess Dad's corny humor has been having an effect on me. Hermione didn't seem to want to come out of her stall so I decided to sit down outside of it and we just started to chat for a while. Getting to know her I could tell she was a great person but her thirst for knowledge and what mom would call "bedside manner" rubbed people the wrong way. 

In the middle of me telling the story about a "Karen" trying to scam Dad's restaurant, I was rudely interrupted. With the door to the bathroom being knocked off its hinges and into the wall, I was startled to my feet. 

Hitomi: "Hermione, listen to me carefully. When I tell you to run, go and find a teacher."

I heard the click from the stall and she popped her wide-eyed head out.

Hermione: "But what about you!"

Before I could reply the biggest humanoid I'd ever seen stepped into the bathroom with a wooden club. It stared at me with a hungry look and roared at me. That elicited an eep from the stall, and the challenge made my blood boil. Without time to waste I created distance by jumping to the back of the bathroom in one jump. During my jump, I withdrew 3 shurikens and threw them at the big monster. As they made contact they barely broke the beast's skin and fell to the ground. The only thing they did was piss the beast off, which was half the plan. The beast roared again and started to stalk towards me, then it raised its club in a motion to swipe the stalls.

Hitomi: "HERMIONE GET DOWN!"

As the beast swung the giant club I dove to the floor and saw Hermione doing the same from the gap under the stalls. The flimsy walls that gave us privacy exploded into debris scattered around the room. I scrambled to my feet and threw my robes off to be more flexible. With the motion of disrobing, I was able to grab the two daggers that I made. The beast was recovering from the full forced swing and trying to get its bearings. This was the best chance I would have to buy Hermione some time and I sprinted towards the beast and dodged its grab getting behind the awful thing. I then jumped then kicked off the wall giving me more height and brought both my daggers into the shoulder blades of the beast.

Hitomi: "RUN! GO GET HELP!"

I saw Hermione jumping up and scrambling away towards the door as the beast dropped its club and reached for me. As the things hands closed in on me I was praying that Hermione would go faster. I didn't want to get off the thing while she was still in here because of the chance it went for her. When I saw Hermione standing at the door slack-jawed at what I was doing, it vexed me something else.

Hitomi: "WHAT ARE YOU DO–INGGG"

As I was yelling at her the thing grabbed me, its hand was big enough to wrap around me easily. It quickly brought me to the front of it and roared in my face. Before I could think of anything else I was flying towards the back wall. The damn beast threw me as hard as it could! That was the last thing I thought of as my back hit the wall and I heard a loud crack.

(A/N: This damn Troll has fucking Plot Armor worse than Ichigo from Bleach.)

– Zach's POV – 

It was a busy night at our New York restaurant, since it was Halloween I let the staff dress up in costumes for the night and ran specials for the customers who came in costume. Tsunade was dressed as Cortana, I was having trouble keeping my hands to myself, and I on the other hand had created and cosplayed as Vulkan from Warhammer 40k, minus the darkening of my skin. Something about him resonated with me, I want to believe it's the love of smithing. But I'm pretty sure it's the love of hammers that draws me in. 

After the umpteenth time I tried to get handsy with Tsunade on the floor while talking to guests and she swatted my hand away while somehow not missing a beat in her conversation something happened. When the kids were younger I had created bracelets for them that if significant damage would happen to them would absorb as much as it could and convert the kinetic energy into power that would be used to let me know that something happened to one of my babies. Just now Hitomi's bracelet broke and let me know something drastic has happened. Instantly my face contorted into a rage and I turned and sprinted toward my forge, my speed and dodging skills would make the Emperor proud. I grabbed my replica of Urdrakule then opened a portal to Hitomi's location and rushed through, all the while sensing Tsunade right on my heels.

What I saw made my blood boil and a rage like no other filled me, Hitomi was lifeless against the wall. I could sense that she was just knocked out and the bracelet did its job, but that still didn't quell the fire building in me. When I looked to see what did this I saw a damn troll in the bathroom. 

Before the shithead could react I was on him like a fat kid on cupcakes. While closing the distance I swung the hammer sideways and had the head of the hammer striking the Troll's belly as I reached it. The force of my initial insertion and the strength behind my swing sent the creature crashing through a couple of walls and skidding into an open area of the castle. The troll was still moving and having a hard time trying to get up. I menacingly walked towards the beast and as I stepped through the hole that I had made, I spotted Vulcan with a teenager whose hair was changing with the looks on her face along with Harry and Ron. I looked directly at Vulcan and he looked back with surprised and worried eyes.

Zach: "Go help your mother."

He got the hint and ushered everyone into the bathroom as I made my way towards my target. After walking through the walls the shithead destroyed, I finally reached him. I must have broken his spine and he was too stupid to realize what was wrong with him. As the troll flailed around I placed my hammer down and then jumped onto the piece of shit and started to punch the hell out of its face with my gauntleted fist. 

Time flies when you are relieving stress and rage on something. I think instead of using the saying, "You're beating a dead horse" I'll just use "Beating a dead troll" instead. Because that is what I was doing when I was rudely interrupted by a spell flying towards me. Sensing the magic leaving the wand I grabbed my hammer and swatted the spell into the ground. When I looked at where the spell came from I saw a group of the teachers and of course Albus Dumbledore with his wand raised at me. 

Dumbledore: "Who are you and what do you think you are doing?"

Tsunade: "Your job."

God, she is so fucking hot! While they were distracted with me she appeared behind Albus and brought a knife to his neck and gave a feral grin that would give me the shivers if it was directed at me.

(A/N: Yo, long time no see. I got inspiration tonight to finish this chapter. We'll see how long that lasts. I've really wanted to start writing again because I've really missed it. I need to re-read my own story because I have no clue what characters know and what god's I've introduced. It's really caused problems with the story as well, so if I do continue I'm going to cut that down a lot.

For everyone who has been waiting and supporting me even to this day. I want to thank you for coming back and trying to be patient. Thank you for your continued support and hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Also, if I do continue I would really like input on what to do with he-who's-noseless.

1) Zach fucks him up in Quirrell.

2) Zach leaves is because it's not his monkey and not his circus.

Discord: https://discord.gg/48DArXc9Ht )