15. Chapter 15

Unfortunately for Maya, the next time she woke up, things were not better. If anything, she felt worse. Her stomach was unbelievably crampy, and she knew she needed to use the bathroom very soon.

“Carina,” she groaned, having no idea what else to do.

“What’s wrong Bambina?” Carina asked, going closer to her wife.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Maya said, “Really really bad and right now.”

“Let me go get a nurse,” Carina said, moving quickly.

Maya laid in bed, her stomach making all kinds of unhappy noises. A nurse came in a minute later carrying a device Maya knew was a bedpan.

“Carina, please, can you wait in the hall?” Maya asked as the nurse helped her get the device into position, “Please?”

Carina didn’t want to leave her wife but hearing the pain in Maya’s voice as she begged, Carina decided to do as she was asked. She stood in the hall for quite a few minutes, trying to get her mind to calm down.

When the nurse came out a few minutes later, Carina knew from the look on her face that something wasn’t right.

“Room 231 needs to be put under contact isolation,” the nurse said, “And the next time she has to use the bathroom, we need a specimen tube. I think it’s c. diff.”

Carina internally groaned, knowing the last thing Maya needed was another infection, especially one that was going to make her feel so yucky and dehydrate her.

“Dr. Deluca,” the nurse said, walking over to her, “Your wife told me I could tell you what’s going on. So, she is showing some signs of c. diff. which as you know puts her into isolation. You are still welcome to be in there, just take the necessary precautions. Wash your hands often. You know the drill. Next time she has a bowel movement, I am going to collect a sample for culture and then I will talk to Dr. Grey about getting her on some treatment.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, “Can I go back in there now?”

“Of course,” the nurse nodded, “Oh, and we can bring a cot back in there for you to sleep if you want. I think it might be a bit of a rough night for her.”

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “It’s ok. I’ll be fine.”

“Ok,” the nurse nodded, “I am going to hang an extra bag of fluids for her, just to stay on top of this because with the compromised kidney, she is at higher risk for complications, but we caught this early so hopefully we can stay ahead of it. She’s not doing well with oral fluids, correct?”

“She threw them up during physical therapy today,” Carina sighed, “But I think that was her body trying to tell her to slow down.”

“Ok,” the nurse nodded, “Well, we can keep trying, but if she keeps vomiting, we are going to stop them because she cannot afford it.”

Carina nodded, the nurse tapping on her tablet as she walked back to the nurses’ station while Carina went into Maya’s room.

“Hey Bambina,” Carina said sadly, walking over to her wife, “I hear you are not feeling very well again.”

“This sucks,” Maya said, her bottom lip quivering, “I just want to get better, and I keep having more complications.”

“I know,” Carina said, sitting down next to her, pressing a kiss to Maya’s forehead which was, unfortunately, warm again, “I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“Fix my intestines so I don’t have to deal with diarrhea for the next two to ten days?” Maya asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I wish I could Bambina,” Carina frowned, “How about I go ask the nurse about getting stuff for a bed bath? That might make you feel better.”

“Maybe,” Maya said, putting a hand on her grumbly stomach, “Ok.”

Carina washed her hands before going out into the hall, asking one of the nurses for supplies for a bed bath. “I’ll leave it outside the door for you,” the nurse said, “Give me five minutes.”

“Grazie,” Carina said before going back into the room.

To be completely honest, Carina was starting to feel bad herself, mentally overwhelmed and overstimulated and exhausted, but she was determined to try to push it aside to help her wife who was feeling really crappy right now, both literally and physically.

“Do you want to try to drink something else?” Carina asked, moving the bed up so she could do the bed bath easier.

“I don’t know,” Maya said, “I don’t want to throw up again. Or make the diarrhea worse.”

“You will not make the diarrhea worse,” Carina said, shaking her head, “That I can promise because it is bacteria in your body making you sick. And I think you only threw up because your body was overwhelmed. You do not have to drink, but it might help.”

“I’ll try,” Maya sighed, “Do they have anything I can drink besides that stuff they keep giving me though? Maybe something without flavor?”

“I can ask,” Carina nodded, knowing Maya hated artificially flavored anything, “I know they also have broths we give to patients after surgery, so maybe one of those might be better.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door, Carina opening it and finding a cart with bed bath supplies there for her.

“Thank you,” she called to the nurse before taking it into Maya’s room, taking the basins over to the sink to fill them with water.

“When was the last time you did one of these?” Maya asked, knowing doctors never did this kind of work.

“I just did one a few days ago,” Carina said, setting the basins back on the cart to bring them to the bed.

“What?” Maya said, confused as Carina walked up to the head of the bed.

“Bambina, I gave you a bed bath while you were in your coma,” Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya’s forehead, hoping maybe the bath would help with the fever.

“Oh,” Maya said, finally understanding, “Ok, but before that?”

“I think I maybe did one or two in Italia when I had to go for the pandemic because everyone was just doing whatever they could,” Carina said, thinking, “But before that, not since before medical school, or maybe during. I cannot remember.”

Maya hummed a little as Carina began washing her face, the Italian noting that some of the cuts on her wife’s face were starting to heal, finally. Carina carefully cleaned Maya’s face before moving on to her arms.

“Are you going to take the brace off?” Maya asked as Carina picked up her right arm.

“Si,” Carina nodded, undoing the Velcro straps, “Link put you in this so we could keep washing your arm and keep an eye on the cuts.”

“It looks so bad,” Maya said, looking at her arm, “Why am I wearing the brace again?”

“You have some small breaks in both bones in your arm,” Carina said, gently washing the arm, “How you managed to get your arm this bruised and cut up and you didn’t break more bones is crazy to me. Is it sore?”

“No,” Maya said, “I mean, sometimes, it’s a little achy, but it normally doesn’t hurt at all. How long do I have to wear the brace?”

“Link said a month, maybe two,” Carina said, “It all depends on how you heal which might be a little slower because of all the infections you keep getting.”

“Why do I keep getting so many infections?” Maya asked as Carina carefully dried her arm before going to the other side of the bed, having to climb on it to be able to reach Maya’s left side.

“Well, the sepsis was probably from the puncture to your intestines,” Carina said as she washed Maya’s left arm, “And it caused issues there. And now, the c. diff., is from the antibiotics used to treat the sepsis.”

“So, I have an infection from trying to cure my infection?” Maya asked, watching as Carina nodded, “Well, that sucks.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Lo so. They are probably going to have to change the meds to finish treating the sepsis to help with the c. diff. and then start you on different antibiotics to treat that.”

“That sounds complicated,” Maya said as Carina moved on to her leg, “So they use antibiotics to treat an infection that I have because of antibiotics?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “But different ones. The ones that made you sick are more broad spectrum, but the new ones will be more specific.”

“Am I contagious?” Maya asked as Carina started washing her left leg, again having to climb on the bed.

“Not really,” Carina said, shaking her head, “You will not spread it through the air or anything. It is just from direct fluid contact so the nurses will all wear gloves and gowns when they come in, but almost no one who is not on antibiotics ever gets c. diff.”

“Aren’t you on antibiotics?” Maya asked, “Am I going to give this to you?”

“No, Bambina,” Carina sighed, “The ones I am on are not know to increase risk of it.”

Maya nodded, shifting a little as her stomach gurgled.

“Are you ok?” Carina asked, noticing Maya looked uncomfortable.

“Just crampy,” Maya sighed, “Maybe you should go home for tonight. I am going to keep you up.”

“No, bambina,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I will be ok.”

“But you aren’t going to get good sleep,” Maya said.

“I will get better sleep here than at home,” Carina said, feeling her anxiety bubbling.

“Ok,” Maya said, sensing that Carina was struggling and knowing that she was not going to convince her to go home, “Ok. You can stay. You know I want you to stay, I just also want you to take care of yourself and getting rest.”

“I will not rest at all at home,” Carina said as she moved on to cleaning Maya’s chest and abdomen, “I need to be here. I…and Andrea…and…”

“I know,” Maya said, “Come here.”

“I need to finish,” Carina said, blinking the tears out of her eyes, “Please, let me finish?”

“Ok,” Maya nodded, not wanting to push Carina anymore, knowing she was struggling.

Carina carefully washed Maya’s abdomen, making sure not to bump any of the drains or wet any of the wound dressings. Once she was done, she got everything cleaned up.

“Now will you come sit?” Maya asked as Carina washed her hands.

“One minute,” Carina said, pulling off her sweatshirt before pulling on Maya’s academy sweatshirt that Meredith had brought back earlier.

“It’s a sweatshirt kinda day?” Maya asked, frowning a little.

“Every day since you have been here has been a sweatshirt kinda day,” Carina said, crawling into bed.

“Oh babe,” Maya said, wishing she could wrap her wife in her arms and hold her like she did the first time Carina had had a “sweatshirt kinda day.”

It had been a month since Andrew had died, just before Carina had found out about her visa, and Maya had been back to work for about two weeks. Carina had gone in sporadically but had yet to actually work a full shift because being in the hospital was overwhelming.

However, she had finally decided she was going to go back and work a regular shift, knowing it was just going to keep getting worse if she kept putting it off. Maya had left work to come drive her to her shift, something Carina didn’t even know how to thank her for.

Carina had gone into work, somehow making it through almost her entire shift without even coming close to a breakdown.

However, as her shift was winding down, she got called to the pit for a consult that turned out to be nothing, just a patient who had cut her hand while making dinner and was also pregnant and was freaking out a little about her baby. Carina had done a scan and reassured the woman that the baby was just fine, even getting to tell her that she was expecting a little boy when the woman asked.

Carina had been getting ready to go back upstairs to her office, feeling exhausted and drained, when a trauma came into the ER. It was a brother and sister who had been in a car accident, the brother clearly more injured than the sister. The sister was crying and screaming that they had to save her brother, that he couldn’t die, that he was all she had.

Carina found herself frozen in place as they wheeled the boy into the same room Andrea had been in. Carina had no idea what happened after that because her entire brain was overwhelmed by flashbacks to the day Andrea died.

The next thing she remembered was Maya suddenly being in front of her, guiding her out of the hospital. They got back to the house and Carina immediately beelined for the shower, waning something hard to try to get her body to calm down.

She had gone a step further this time, pulling off her clothes so there was nothing touching her skin that felt like it was on fire, every nerve in her body feeling like it was being stimulated at the same time.

Maya had found her there, the blonde’s heart breaking when she saw her girlfriend curled up in the corner of the shower, shivering and crying. Maya decided she had had enough of Carina denying herself comfort, the blonde going into their bedroom, grabbing one of her old academy sweatshirts that Carina had worn a few times early in their relationship.

She went into the bathroom and climbed into the shower with Carina, sitting her up.

“Come on Car,” Maya said, “You cannot keep punishing yourself because of what happened to your brother. It sucks and it’s not fair and if I could take away all of this, I would in a heartbeat, but Carina, your life is still valuable. You cannot keep punishing yourself because of something someone else did so you are going to put on this sweatshirt and then you can sit here and I will sit over here or I can hold you or we can go to bed or lay on the floor or whatever you need, but I cannot watch you sit here like this, freezing cold.”

Carina complied, surprised that putting on this sweatshirt didn’t bother her painful skin and actually felt nice. Carina had leaned on Maya’s shoulder after that, letting the blonde just hold her until the flashbacks lessened and the episode passed which took hours.

However, after that, every time Carina was struggling with her anxiety or PTSD or just having a bad day, she would pull on this sweatshirt and it became a sign to Maya that her girlfriend/wife didn’t need her to talk or try to fix anything, but rather just needed her to be there in the pain and grief and sadness with her.

It wasn’t often that Carina had what they deemed “sweatshirt kinda days” recently, but something about knowing that Carina had had multiple consecutive days like that broke Maya’s heart.

“What can I do?” Maya asked, wanting to find some way to comfort her wife.

“Just being here is good,” Carina said, leaning her head carefully on Maya’s shoulder.

Just then, Maya’s stomach grumbled and the blonde winced, knowing what was coming.

“Carina, I am so sorry, but can you get the nurse and then stay out?” Maya asked, having zero desire for her wife to witness what this unfortunate infection was doing to her body at the moment.

Carina was out of bed in seconds, grabbing a nurse who quickly pulled on her PPE and ran into Maya’s room, Carina staying in the hall trying to calm her brain down.

This new infection Maya had worried her because she knew all the stats about c. diff. That it could cause kidney problems which Maya already had, that it could cause other kinds of issues and could, if it got bad enough, be deadly which terrified her to no end.

However, she tried to remind herself that Maya was in the hospital, the best place to get this treated, and that it had been caught early so they could start treatment and get ahead of the infection. The Italian ran through some breathing exercises in her head as she stood there.

The nurse came back out a few minutes later, looking at Carina as she pulled off her PPE.

“I’m going to get the sample I got down to the lab,” the nurse said, “But I am almost 100% sure this is c. diff. I am going to talk to Dr. Grey and let her know what’s going on. I imagine she’ll come talk to you guys soon, but I think we will probably get her on a regimen to treat this soon.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, going back into the room, “Hey Bambina.”

“Sorry about that,” Maya said as Carina climbed back into the bed, “This sucks.”

“I’m sorry you are feeling sick,” Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya’s forehead.

“I’m ok. I just feel bad I keep kicking you out,” Maya said, happy that Carina settled against her shoulder again, “How are you doing?”

“I…I am feeling…overstimulated and achy,” Carina said, “And tired.”

“We can turn off the lights and you can sleep,” Maya said.

“Meredith is probably going to come down here and talk to you soon,” Carina said, shaking her head, “And I need to eat dinner or Bailey won’t let me stay.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Jo Wilson walked in.

“Why are we in contact isolation?” Jo asked, not coming too close.

“Suspected c. diff.,” Carina said.

“I’m sorry,” Jo said, frowning as she came in, knowing is she washed her hands, she would be fine, “That is not a fun way to spend your first day awake. How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” Maya said, “But it’ll be ok. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I am on Bishop-Deluca duty tonight,” Jo said.

“No way,” Maya said, “Jo, you are great, but you cannot stay here tonight. It is embarrassing enough using a bedpan with a nurse.”

“I think we will be ok tonight,” Carina said, knowing she was the one who everyone was staying for, “I am feeling…better than I have been I think.”

“Ok,” Jo said reluctantly, “I guess you two can be left on your own tonight, mostly because, Maya, we are getting closer, but I am not ready to be that close. I brought dinner for you Carina. It’s just some chicken soup, but I thought it might help with the lingering strep symptoms.”

“Grazie,” Carina said, getting out of the bed and going to wash her hands, “Bambina, is it ok if I eat here?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “Of course.”

“Can I stay too?” Jo asked, “I brought dinner for me too because I was planning on staying.”

“Yeah,” Maya said, yawning a little, “I might nod off, sorry.”

“You’re literally sick and just woke up from a coma after a massive car accident,” Jo laughed, “Sleep all you want.”

Maya was almost asleep as she listened to Jo and Carina chat a little when Meredith Grey walked in.

“I hear someone caught herself another infection,” the surgeon said, looking at Maya, “What am I going to do with you Maya?”

“I’m hoping give me something to make me feel better,” Maya said sleepily, “Because I am over this.”

“I’m sure,” Meredith nodded, looking at her chart, “Well, I am going to change your sepsis meds which you are about halfway through at this point and then start you on some meds to help get rid of the c. diff.”

“How long until I feel better?” Maya asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I am hoping within 48 hours, we can get the diarrhea to stop,” Meredith said, “But it might be a little longer. We caught it early so that should work in our favor here. So, I see oral fluids haven’t been going super well. Now, to treat the c. diff, we are going to have to have you swallow a pill so I am thinking it might be best to put a ng tube in, just to help with that.”

“No,” Maya said, “No, I can swallow a pill. I promise. No more tubes.”

“Ok,” Meredith said, “But if you can’t keep the first dose down, we are going to put in the tube because we need to get you treated.”

“Is there any way she could have something other than the flavored electrolyte drink?” Carina asked, having forgotten earlier, “Maybe the unflavored Pedialyte or some chicken broth or something?”

“I forgot you are not big on sweet,” Meredith nodded, “Yeah, I’ll have them do unflavored from now on. I don’t want to start the broth until tomorrow at the earliest, just to give your stomach a little more time.”

“Ok,” Maya said.

“Any more questions?” Meredith asked, looking at both Maya and Carina.

“Can I still do physical therapy with this?” Maya asked.

“Oh, I wanted to talk to you about that,” Meredith said, “So, yes. You can. We are going to alter your plan to move a little slower, just to give your body the time it needs. However, you might not be feeling up to therapy for the next couple of days, which is ok.”

“I want to do it,” Maya said, knowing PT was her ticket to go home. Well, that and not getting any more random infections because while she hadn’t asked, she was pretty sure this infection was going to push her breaking out of here back even more.

“Ok,” Meredith said, “And if you change your mind, that is fine. It is going to be lighter anyways.”

“Bambina, you are going to listen to your body, si?” Carina said, looking at her wife.

“I will,” Maya agreed, not liking what had happened earlier when she didn’t listen to her body how she should have.

“Ok,” Meredith said, “Well, that’s all I have. Anything else from either of you?”

“No,” Maya said as Carina shook her head.

“Ok,” Meredith said, “Well, I will have a nurse bring you new fluids and your new antibiotics soon. Get some rest.”

Maya nodded, rubbing her eyes with her good hand. Within the next twenty minutes, Maya had been given the pills, which she was able to get down just fine with the new fluids.

Once that was done, Jo got ready to leave, promising to be back soon.

“Can we sleep now Carina?” Maya asked, absolutely spent from the day she had had.

“Si, Bambina,” the Italian nodded, “And finally, I will be right here in bed with you so if you need anything, just hit me like at home.”

“I don’t hit you,” Maya said as Carina pulled on pajama bottoms, “Sometimes, I gently shake you awake.”

Carina rolled her eyes but didn’t have the energy to fight her wife as she climbed into bed.

“Goodnight Bambina,” she said, kissing the blonde gently, “I hope you wake up feeling much better. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Maya said, stealing another kiss, “I hope you wake up feeling better too. If you need me, you can wake me up too.”

Carina nodded, making sure not to lay too close to Maya so she didn’t bump any drains or anything, reaching over and grabbing her wife’s hand.

The blonde gave it a gentle squeeze before both of them drifted off to sleep, happy to be spending the night in the same bed again.