16. Chapter 16

The night was not as rough as they were expecting, but it was also not great. Maya was up three times because of her upset stomach, kicking Carina out of the room every time. Carina also woke up once from a nightmare, sitting upright as she woke up in a panic.

“Carina,” Maya mumbled, waking up as she felt Carina’s hand pull away from hers, “What’s wrong?”

The Italian was struggling to breathe through her panic attack, unable to answer Maya.

“Hey,” the blonde said, mad at her body that it wouldn’t let her sit up and comfort her wife how she wanted to, “Car. Give me your hand, please? Right here, ok?”

Carina reached back, taking Maya’s hand in her own.

“Good,” Maya said, glad she had some physical contact to offer Carina a little comfort, “Can you look at me? Come on Carina. Eyes on me. You can do it.”

Carina slowly looked at Maya, locking eyes with her wife.

“Good,” Maya nodded, smiling at her, “Can you take a deep breath? I’ll count out some box breathing for you, ok?”

Carina did as Maya said, listening as her wife slowly and carefully counted out her breathing pattern.

Normally, the blonde would do the exercise with her wife which always made it easier for Carina to follow. However, Maya’s ribs were still too sore and achy to do the deep breathing this exercise required.

It took a little longer than normal, but eventually, Carina did manage to calm down.

“Va bene?” Maya asked as Carina’s breathing fully returned to normal.

“Si,” Carina nodded, rubbing her tired eyes, “Sorry. I don’t know…”

“Don’t apologize,” Maya said, shaking her head, “It is ok. Is there anything I can do?”

“Can you just hold my hand?” Carina asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Crampy and gross,” Maya said, “But I’m ok right now. Are you going to be able to go to sleep?”

“I don’t know,” Carina said, “But you can sleep. You need rest to fight this infection.”

“I can sleep during the day,” Maya said, “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“I was watching you bleed out,” Carina sighed, voice shaking a little bit, “And every time I tried to get to you, I just kept getting further away and you were yelling for me and I was yelling, but it was like you couldn’t hear me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Maya said, squeezing Carina’s hand tighter as she heard Carina start to cry, “I wish I could take this away from you.”

Carina rolled on her side, moving closer to Maya, the blonde managing to get her left arm into a position where she could play with Carina’s hair, something that almost always calmed the Italian down. Maya was careful to avoid the stitches in Carina’s head as she gently whispered some sweet nothings in Italian that she had learned over the years.

Eventually, Carina calmed back down, sighing as she moved a little.

“Feeling better?” Maya asked, smiling at her wife.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Grazie Bambina. Now, you need to go to sleep.”

“So do you,” Maya said, feeling her eyes getting heavy, “Are you going to be able too?”

“I will try,” Carina said, nodding, “Or I will at least rest my eyes.”

“Ti amo,” Maya mumbled as she started to fall asleep.

“Ti amo Bambina,” Carina said, leaning over and kissing Maya’s forehead which was still too warm.

Carina didn’t get much more sleep that night, struggling to get her mind to slow down. She did manage to get another thirty or so minutes before Maya woke up again to deal with her c. diff.

“Sorry I keep kicking you out,” Maya said as Carina came back in.

“Bambina, you know that I do not care,” Carina said, going over to the bedside, tucking a piece of damp blonde hair behind her wife’s ear, “If you kick me out or let me stay. I understand you not wanting me in here, but just know that I would not care if I stayed.”

“It’s gross,” Maya said, shaking her head, “Like worse than that time we stopped at that little Mexican place on that road trip to Napa.”

“That was bad,” Carina said, grimacing as she thought about that day.

They had been so hungry after driving all day, and they had found this small Mexican place near where they were staying, deciding to try it because they liked to eat a local places instead of chain restaurants. They had enjoyed the food, deciding it wasn’t the best food ever, but they had both had much worse.

They had gotten to the VRBO after they finished dinner, both of them anxious to start enjoying this trip they had been planning for months.

However, just as they were about to get into bed, Carina’s stomach had made the weirdest noise, causing both of them to stop the heated make out session they had started basically as soon as they walked in.

“You ok?” Maya asked.

“I think so,” Carina said, putting her hand on her stomach.

“Ok,” Maya said, walking back over to her to continue with where they were. However, about five minutes later, Carina’s stomach made another weird noise, the brunette pulling away from her wife.

“Come on Car,” Maya said, “What are you doing?”

“I am not feeling very well all of a sudden,” Carina said, hand on her stomach as she burped a little, “Um, I think I need to use the bathroom.”

Maya frowned as her wife ran into the en suite bathroom, hoping she was ok. Maya went out into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for her wife when she noticed her own stomach felt off. She took the cup back to the bedroom, setting it down on the nightstand.

Carina came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking miserable.

“Are you ok?” Maya asked as Carina sat down on the bed.

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I most definitely am not. My stomach is an absolute mess. I think dinner is not agreeing with me.”

Just then, Maya’s stomach gurgled loudly, the blonde letting out a loud burp.

“I think we might have food poisoning,” Maya said, hand on her stomach, “I feel really sick too.”

The next 24 hours had been an absolute nightmare for both of them, Maya glad Carina had booked them in a place with two bathrooms because they both spend almost the entire time in the bathroom, missing their wine tour and the fancy dinner reservations Maya had made.

Both of them agreed afterward that that was the sickest they had ever been, so for Maya to say she was feeling worse now made Carina know just how bad she truly was feeling.

“Do you want me to get you more to drink?” Carina asked, knowing it was so important that Maya keep her fluid levels up to compensate for everything she was losing.

“What time is it?” Maya asked, unable to see the clock from her bed.

“It’s about 7 am,” Carina said, “They will be around for rounds in about an hour.”

“Can we just lay here?” Maya asked, not quite ready to start trying to convince her body that fluids were good for it just yet.

“Of course,” Carina nodded, climbing back into bed, “How is everything else feeling? Are you having any pain?”

“Everything is achy,” Maya sighed, “My whole abdominal area feels pretty bad but not painful but also painful if that makes sense.”

“I understand, I think,” Carina said, playing with Maya’s hair a little, “Is anything else bothering you?”

“Not really,” Maya said, “I have a little headache, but I’ve had one since I woke up the first time.”

Just then, a nurse came into the room.

“Maya, I need to grab some blood for labs,” the nurse said, “And I need to hang another bag of fluids. Are you ready for some more to drink?”

“I guess,” Maya nodded, “But the unflavored kind.”

“I have it in your chart,” the nurse nodded, “And you are due for another dose of antibiotics too. I’ll bring it in soon. Do you need anything else?”

“Can I have another blanket?” Maya asked, knowing the slight chill she had was probably because of her fever, but she still wanted another blanket.

“Of course,” the nurse nodded, “I will be back soon.”

“Are you having chills Bambina?” Carina asked, putting a hand on her forehead.

“I’m just a little cold,” Maya said, “I’ll be ok. How are you feeling this morning? Do we need to turn the lights off and keep it quiet all day?”

“I don’t know,” Carina sighed, “I don’t know how I feel. It’s like…it’s like my brain is so…loud…and fast…and confusing.”

“That’s ok,” Maya said, “Thank you for telling me. Just please tell me if and when there is something you need from me because even being stuck in this bed, I can make people do things.”

“That is true,” Carina laughed, kissing her forehead, “You are very good at making people listen to you.” The nurse brought Maya her drink, Carina inclining the bed a little so she didn’t choke while she drank.

“Man, my throat is sore,” Maya said, taking a small sip.

“Like painful?” Carina asked, worried that somehow, Maya had caught strep from her.

“No,” Maya said, “Like scratchy. It’s from the vent. It felt like this after I had smoke inhalation and had to be on one for a few hours that one time.”

“That will go away soon,” Carina nodded, helping Maya take another sip along with her pill, “Drinking will probably help.”

Maya nodded, taking one more small sip before pushing the straw out of her mouth.

“Good job,” Carina smiled, “That was almost 45 mL.”

“It’s feeling less weird in my stomach,” Maya said.

Carina nodded, putting the cup on Maya’s tray. Just then, there was another knock on the door, Meredith and Teddy both walking in.

“I’m just here to drop off some coffee and a breakfast sandwich for you, Carina,” Teddy said, “And Maya, I’m sorry you’re sick again.”

“Thanks Teddy,” Carina said as Maya offered a small smile.

“I need to go,” the cardio surgeon said, “I am so late because Allison went on a shirt strike this morning. I’ll stop by later.”

“Bye Teddy,” Maya and Carina both called as she left.

“I am here for rounds,” Meredith said, smiling at them, “How are you feeling this morning Maya?”

“My insides feel crampy and gross,” Maya said, “And my abdomen feels...I can’t describe it. Like it hurts but also not really.”

“Mind if I take a look?” Meredith asked, pulling on a gown and gloves, going to Maya’s abdomen.

“Go for it,” Maya said, nodding. Meredith pulled off the dressings, looking at the incisions and drains.

“You are looking good,” Meredith said, gently touching a few areas, “I am going to pull one of these drains. It isn’t draining much of anything anymore, and I think it can come out.”

“What about the other two?” Maya asked, wanting nothing more than to be tube free.

“One of them may be ready tomorrow,” Meredith said, “And the last one, I am optimistic it will be out in the next three days, maybe earlier. If you can clear this c. diff, I would say you are heading exactly where I want to see you.”

“So, I can go home soon?” Maya asked hopefully.

“Well, your labs are not looking quite as good as they were,” Meredith said, “Your kidney numbers are getting worse again which is probably because of the c. diff., but we are going to keep pumping you full of fluids and antibiotics and try to help your body fight this.”

“So, what’s your estimate on me leaving?” Maya asked, “Like a week, a month?”

“I can’t say, Maya,” Meredith said, shaking her head, “You have too many complicating factors. Just keep working as hard as you can in PT and drinking as much as you can too. It will be over a week, though, unless everything magically fixes itself.”

“Ok,” Maya sighed, trying not to start crying.

“I know it’s hard,” Meredith said, “But it will go fast. If you would have asked me two days ago when you were going to go home, I would have said it would have been at least a month, but your body is working hard and fighting. Just give it a little more time.”

Carina grabbed Maya’s hand, reassuring her that this was all good news without actually saying anything.

“I am going to go get what I need to remove that drain and redress your incisions,” Meredith said, “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.”

As soon as Meredith left, tears started running down Maya’s cheeks.

“What’s wrong Bambina?” Carina asked.

“I’m just tired and I feel like shit and I just want to be home and for this to be over,” Maya cried, wincing as she did so because the irregular breathing made her ribs and chest hurt.

“Oh Bambina,” Carina said, moving as close to Maya as she could, gently wrapping her arm around her wife, careful not to hurt her, “You are going to feel better soon. I am so sorry this is so hard.”

Carina just held her wife, knowing that as much as it was hard to watch, the fact that Maya was letting these emotions out was good because the blonde was known for stuffing her emotions down, especially when she wasn’t feeling well, because that was how she was raised. She had gotten so much better than when she had met Carina, but when she was feeling physically not at her best, she normally reverted back to how she had been before because it was what was comfortable.

Carina was glad Maya was expressing these feelings right now because, while it broke her heart to see her upset, it was so much better than watching her stuff it down. Maya settled down after a few minutes, Carina grabbing a tissue for Maya’s runny nose.

“Sorry,” Maya said as she took the tissue from her wife, wiping her eyes and nose, “I’m just feeling very overwhelmed by all of this all of a sudden.”

“Bambina, do not apologize,” Carina said, shaking her head, “I am glad you are letting these emotions out. This is a lot for you to deal with physically but also mentally.”

Just then, a nurse came in.

“Alright Maya,” she said, “Dr. Grey asked me to come and numb the area around the tube so the stitches don’t hurt. A few small pinches, ok?”

Maya nodded, wincing a little as the nurse put the lidocaine into the skin.

“Alright,” the nurse said, “Dr. Grey will be in in a few minutes.”

“Thanks,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes before looking at Carina, “You need to go eat.”

“Oh, si,” Carina nodded, not having much of an appetite at the moment but knowing her wife was right.

She got up, grabbing the bag Teddy had left on the counter along with the coffee, sitting down in the chair by Maya’s bed.

“Does me eating make you hungry?” Carina asked, taking a small bite.

“No,” Maya said, “Not at all. The low level of nausea that had been here since I woke up makes food sound so unappealing right now.”

“Your poor stomach,” Carina sighed, knowing it was going to be a fight to get Maya back to any kind of normal eating when that was something that was safe for her.

Carina managed to force about half her sandwich down before deciding she was done, throwing away the other half.

Maya noticed this, knowing this was another tell as to Carina’s mental health at any given time. The Italian normally loved to eat, but when she was stressed or anxious or struggling, it would take a lot of coaxing from Maya to get her to eat anything. The blonde knew part of the reason Carina had passed out was because she wasn’t eating well but seeing it with her own eyes broke Maya’s heart a little more for her wife.

She was broken out of her thoughts when Meredith walked back in the room.

“Alright, let’s get one of these drains out,” the general surgeon said, pulling on her PPE, “Is it feeling numb?”

“I think so,” Maya nodded, “It all feels weird all the time anyway.”

Meredith nodded, carefully pulling out the first drain they had put in right after the accident, dabbing the area with sterile gauze as it bled a little.

“Alright,” Meredith said, quickly starting her stitching, “One down, two more to go. I am just going to get these dressed and then you will be good to go.”

“Thank you,” Maya said as Meredith finished up the stitches before spreading some ointment on it.

“Now, hopefully that will heal up nicely. If the output of this second drain keeps tapering off, it will be out tomorrow. You are making good progress here Maya.”

“Finally,” the blonde said as Meredith finished putting on clean dressings, “I feel like it’s just been one setback after another.”

“That happens,” Meredith nodded, “And you are hitting all the complications we try so hard to avoid, but I am hopeful that the sepsis is clearing up well. I have a surgery to go prep for, but do you have any questions?”

“No,” Maya said, looking at Carina.

“No,” the Italian said, shaking her head, “Grazie.”

“Oh, your physical therapist is going to be here in the next half hour,” Meredith said, “I ordered PT for you twice a day, but if that is too much, we can change it until you are feeling better.”

“Ok,” Maya nodded a little, “Thank you.”

“Are you still feeling up to physical therapy?” Carina asked, noticing how exhausted her wife was looking.

“I think so,” Maya nodded, feeling her stomach gurgle and cramp up in a very specific way again, “Oh, I need the nurse again.” Carina pressed the call button before going and scrubbing her hands before leaving the room as the nurse walked in. Carina wished Maya was comfortable enough to let her help her, but at the same time, she completely understood why she didn’t want that.

“Hey,” Teddy said, walking up to the OB/GYN as she was standing in the hall, “What are you doing out here?”

“Maya does not like me in the room when she is dealing with the worst of having c. diff,” Carina explained.

“Your poor wife,” Teddy said, shaking her head, “How are you holding up?”

“A little better I guess,” Carina said, “It comes in waves. I’m trying to help Maya, but sometimes, I still feel like I did when she was in the coma.”

“You have to take care of yourself too,” Teddy reminded her.

“I know,” Carina nodded, “I am. I ate three meals yesterday, and I’ve been talking to Maya some about everything. And I have another therapy appointment tomorrow.”

“Good,” Teddy nodded, “Do you want to get lunch with me today? Just cafeteria food. Sorry it won’t be anything fancy.”

“Sure,” Carina nodded, “Just come get me when you are ready.”

Just then, the nurse came back out.

“You can go back in Carina,” the nurse said.

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, “Teddy, I will see you later?”

“See you then,” Teddy nodded, heading back to work as Carina went back into Maya’s room.

“You look sleepy Bambina,” Carina said, walking over to her wife, “This is taking a lot out of you.”

“Yeah,” Maya yawned, “But I can still do PT.”

“Just don’t push yourself beyond what your body can handle,” Carina reminded her, helping Maya take a few sips of her drink.

“I won’t,” Maya reassured. Just then, the physical therapist walked in.

“Mrs. Bishop-Deluca,” a new therapist said, “My name is Ty and I am going to be doing your physical therapy this morning. Is that ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, “And it’s Maya.”

“Alright Maya,” he said, “I heard that yesterday did not go quite as planned.”

“Yeah, that’s the nice way of saying it,” Maya scoffed.

“Well, that’s ok,” Ty said, washing his hands before pulling on his gown and gloves, “Some days are like that. This morning, I just want to do some stretching on your legs to loosen the muscles and get them ready for standing and then I want to do some exercises on your neck to help with the whiplash. Jared told me he was going to work on it yesterday at the end of your session…”

“But then I puked on one of them and that ended the session real fast,” Maya said, looking down.

“Bambina, it is ok,” Carina reminded her, “It happens.”

“Listen to your wife,” Ty nodded, “Because it does. And it’s ok. Now, let’s see how your legs are doing.”

Ty started with Maya’s good leg, the one part of her body that had no injuries, impressed with the muscle tone and strength.

“Wow,” he said as Maya easily completed the activities he asked, “What do you do for a living? After a week in bed, your leg is stronger than most of my patients who come in after no bed rest.”

“I’m a firefighter,” Maya shrugged.

“And she was an Olympic gold medalist in the 10,000 meter,” Carina said, enjoying bragging about her wife’s incredible accomplishments.

“Wait, you are that Maya Bishop?” Ty said, looking at her, “Wow. That is incredible. You are the reason my younger sister decided to run track.”

Maya smiled, always liking to hear that other people had taken up the sport that had carried her through her childhood because of her. They worked though some exercised on her bad leg,

Ty carefully supporting Maya’s leg so she didn’t put too much stress on her torn muscles.

“You did a really good job with that,” Ty said, smiling as they finished, “Now, I am going to help start getting your next moving a little easier. Carina, I can teach you if you want and then you can help make sure she is moving correctly.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, eager to help her wife in any way she could.

Maya tolerated moving her head incredibly well, and while she was extra sore when it was done, she was feeling much better about moving her head around.

“Alright,” Ty said, “That is all for this morning. I am going to come back this afternoon and we are going to just get you sitting up with your legs dangling over the side, ok?”

“I guess,” Maya said, “Do I have to stand again today?”

“Not today,” Ty assured her, “I know you aren’t feeling very well, and because it didn’t go so well yesterday, I want to just let you rest from that today. Once you are feeling a little stronger, we will try again.”

“Ok,” Maya said, yawning a little, “Sorry. I am really tired.”

“I’m sure,” Ty nodded, “Get some rest. I will be back this afternoon, ok?”

“Thank you,” Maya nodded a little, “See you later.”

“You did so well Bambina,” Carina said, smiling at her, “How did it feel?”

“Better than yesterday,” Maya said, “But I’m so tired after doing nothing.”

“That’s ok,” Carina said, kissing her forehead, “I can turn off the lights and you can rest.”

Maya was about to ask her to do just that when her stomach decided that was not what was going to happen. Maya grabbed the call button Carina had left in her reach earlier that day before looking at her wife with a look Carina was all too familiar with.

“I’m going,” the Italian nodded, going to the sink and washing her hands as the nurse walked in.

As Carina went to walk out, she heard Maya groan a little, cursing under her breath.

“Bambina?” Carina asked, worried.

“Out Carina,” Maya said angrily, “Now.”

Carina went into the hall, a little hurt with how Maya has spoken to her but also worried. It took much longer this time for the nurse to come back out.

“Can I go back in?” Carina asked as the nurse walked over to the nurse’s station.

“Not yet,” the nurse said, “I need to change the sheets on the bed and Maya asked that you don’t come in until that is done. She had a bit of an accident.”

Everything made a lot more sense to Carina as two nurses went into Maya’s room with clean linens and things to clean her up with. It took a good twenty minutes before the nurses finally came back out, one of them walking over to Carina.

“She’s ready for you,” the nurse said, “She’s probably going to be sore because we had to move her around to change the sheets, but we are getting her meds right now.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, going into the room again.

“Hi Bambina,” Carina said, trying to feel out just how grumpy Maya was.

“You probably don’t want to be here,” Maya said, not looking at her, “I literally just shit myself in bed.”

“Bambina, I want to be here with you,” Carina said, sitting down next to her wife, “It is ok. It happens. You are sick. Now, do you still want me to turn off the lights for you?”

Carina was selfishly hoping she would say yes because she was tired and feeling overwhelmed.

“Yeah,” Maya said, “I am so tired.”

“Ok,” Carina nodded, going over to the light switches, turning off the lights, “How about another small drink before you sleep?” Carina asked, knowing that hydration was vital to Maya right now.

“I guess,” the blonde agreed, taking a few sips of the drink before pushing the straw out of her mouth.

Carina set the cup down before laying the bed back down to flat before climbing in with her, noticing Maya had tears running down her cheeks.

“Bambina, what’s wrong?” Carina asked, worried.

“I don’t know,” Maya said, “Everything and nothing and I don’t feel well and you are so understanding and I just…I don’t know.”

“It’s ok,” Carina said, just trying to calm Maya down, “You are ok.”

The blonde eventually cried herself to sleep, her body in desperate need of rest. Carina just laid there watching her breathe.

Just as Carina was about to try to sleep herself, her phone buzzed and she saw she had a text from Andy, reminding her that they were getting the new engine today at 1 if she and Maya wanted to facetime in to be a part of it.

It was currently only 10 so Carina was pretty sure Maya would be awake by one, but she told Andy that they would join if Maya was up to it, explaining to Andy that Maya had another infection that was making her feel pretty sick at the moment.

Andy was shocked her best friend had another infection, asking Carina if she was going to be ok. The Italian explained what was going on and that while there was a chance that there could be some pretty serious complications, that Maya should be ok because they caught it early. Andy told Carina to keep her updated which Carina told her she would.

The Italian set a quiet alarm on her phone for 12:30, wanting to make sure that she had time to wake Maya up to be able to be a part of the big event at the station, before laying back down in bed, just watching Maya breathe, allowing that rhythm to calm her body down and help her relax a little.