12. Chapter 12

Carina did alright overnight, waking up around 2 am from a nightmare. Amelia was by her side in a second, making sure she was ok.

Carina managed to settle back to sleep, her fever still hanging on which was probably at least partly responsible for the nightmares that were vivid and horrible.

Carina stayed asleep until 8 am the next morning when another nightmare woke her up screaming.

“Hey,” Amelia said, running over to her friend, “Hey. It’s ok. Carina, you’re safe. Maya’s safe. It’s ok.”

Carina just cried, Amelia holding her tightly. As she was holding her friend, she realized she was much cooler than she had been the night before and also quite sweaty.

As Carina calmed, she pulled back from Amelia, wiping at her tears as her friend handed her some tissues.

“Sorry,” Carina rasped out, throat sore from both the crying and the strep, “The nightmares…”

“I get it,” Amelia nodded, “You don’t have to apologize. Also, I think I might know why that one was so bad. I think you just broke your fever.”

“That explains why I’m so sweaty,” Carina said, noticing how gross she was feeling for the first time, “I need to shower.”

“Let me pull some labs first,” Amelia said, knowing Carina’s electrolytes had still been a bit off the previous afternoon and they needed to make sure they were stabilized before she got to be discharged.

Carina nodded, letting Amelia get some blood.

“I am going to take out your IV out if you think you can manage oral hydration and medication today,” Amelia said, getting a nod from the Italian, “Ok, but if you aren’t eating or drinking, you are getting another one.”

“Now a shower,” Carina said, stretching a little as her arm was free from the IV, “Oh, wait. My stitches.”

“Shit,” Amelia said, “I forgot. I will get you something to cover your head and then I will help you wash the blood out of your hair which Teddy tried to do while you were passed out, but it needs some more work.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded as Amelia left the room.

Carina got up, her whole body achy from her lack of movement over the past week. She stretched a little, doing a small breathing exercise from her therapist, trying to keep herself calm as she kept her eyes trained on the tablet. She suddenly saw Bailey on the screen, and the general surgeon unmuted their side.

“Good morning Carina,” she said, “How are you feeling?”

“Good morning Bailey,” Carina said, “I am feeling a bit better. My throat is still sore, but my fever broke and I am feeling mentally a bit better.”

“Good,” Bailey nodded, “Well, this wife of yours is fighting like hell to get back to you. Her kidney numbers are still getting better and her infection markers are dropping steadily. We are going to get her some scans and then, if those don’t have any surprises, try waking her up.”

“Really?” Carina said.

“I don’t see why not,” Bailey said, “And I heard from Shepard that if your labs come back, you are going to be discharged.”

“Si,” Carina nodded, rubbing her still tired eyes, “I am going to shower and then hopefully I can leave this room.”

“Well, you are not coming back here until you have eaten something,” Bailey said, “I don’t care what, but I cannot have you passing out on us again because you ran yourself into the ground.”

“I know,” Carina nodded a little, “I will get something before I come back to Maya but can you wait for me to wake her up. I want to be there for her.”

“Of course,” Bailey nodded, “She still needs scans and they have to be reviewed anyway so it will probably be a few more hours. Do what you need to do and then come back here. Now, I am going to end this call because your lovely wife is about to be taken for her scans and there is no point in you staring at an empty room.”

Carina took a deep breath, nodding. It was one of the first times since the accident that she was going to be awake and not have her wife in her sight and it was terrifying, but she hung up the tablet before going through an exercise her therapist had given her, managing to avoid a panic attack though her body was back to feeling on edge again.

Amelia came back in a few minutes later with a shower cap.

“Alright,” the neurosurgeon said, “This should keep it dry and then once you’re done, I will help you wash your hair.”

“Grazie,” Carina nodded, going into the bathroom, taking with her the clothes Amelia had brought for her.

She really just wanted to keep on the sweatshirt she had been wearing, but she had sweated through it, and it needed to be washed again. She got in the shower after carefully putting the shower cap on her head, washing away the grime of sickness from her skin.

She tried as hard as she could to stay focused on what she was doing so she could get back to Maya. She managed to finish in the shower, pulling on one of Maya’s station sweatshirts and some sweatpants before going out into the room again.

She found Amelia sitting there with a bowl of water and everything she would need to wash her hair.

“You can wash it for real tomorrow,” the neurosurgeon said, “But at least we can get some of the blood out so you don’t scare your wife too much.”

“She probably won’t even notice,” Carina said as she sat down in the chair Amelia had pulled up for her.

“You’re kidding, right?” Amelia said, getting started on washing her friend’s hair, “That woman notices every damn thing about you. She will notice. Also, you have over twenty stitches in your head. It’s pretty noticeable. You two almost match now, although you got to keep most of your hair. We did have to shave a tiny bit to get in good stitches, but it’ll grown back fast.”

Carina just hummed as Amelia washed the blood out of her hair.

“Oh, Link just texted,” Amelia said, “He want to know what you want for breakfast.”

“Something cold,” Carina said, her throat still raw and sore, “My throat is still very unhappy.”

“I’m sorry,” Amelia frowned, “Smoothies sound good?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “Something with strawberries.”

“You got it,” Amelia said, shooting Link a text before getting back to washing her friend’s hair.

“Bailey said I can’t go back to Maya’s room until I eat,” Carina said.

“Yeah, I know,” Amelia said, “We are all supposed to make sure you are eating and taking care of yourself and report to her if you don’t so she can send you home.”

“I promise I will take care of myself,” Carina sighed, “I just…forgot I guess. Sorry for making you all worry.”

“Hey,” Amelia said, stopping what she was doing and going around so Carina could see her, “You don’t need to apologize. It happens. It has happened to all of us. Trauma sucks and makes it impossible to function sometimes. And all of us get it, probably more than we wish we did. However, because we get it, we also know how important it is to have a support system around you, reminding you to take care of yourself. And until you are ready to do it again all on your own, we are all going to help you with it, and there is no shame in that. So, no more apologies, ok?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, wiping tears from her eyes, “Thank you…for everything.”

“Carina, you are one of my best friends,” Amelia said, “It’s what we do. Are you feeling up to a hug?”

“Um…” Carina said, not wanting to offend Amelia but also not feeling much like physical touch at the moment more than it was taking to wash her hair.

“Carina, if you aren’t, that is ok,” Amelia said, “I want to hug you to make you feel better, but if it won’t, I do not want to make this harder for you.”

“Not right now,” Carina said quietly, looking down.

“That is ok,” Amelia said, going back to washing her hair, “Thank you for being honest with me.” Carina just sat there, trying to stay present.

“How is your head feeling?” Amelia asked, looking at the stitches as she continued working.

“It is sore,” Carina admitted, “Like a bad bruise mixed with a headache.”

“I’ll get you some Advil once Link brings the smoothies,” Amelia said, “And just tell me if that doesn’t cut it and I can get you something stronger.”

“I think it should be enough,” Carina said as Amelia finished up with the hair washing.

“Ok,” the neurosurgeon said, “Now, do you want me to try to get a blow dryer and dry it?”

“Do you have to?” Carina asked, the thought of the noise of the dryer sounding overwhelming both because she was very on edge and also because of her aching head.

“No,” Amelia said, shaking her head, “Not at all. I’m going to leave it to air dry for now and then would you be good with a braid or something, just to keep it out of the way?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, “That would be great.”

Just then, Link walked in with smoothies in his hands.

“Good morning ladies,” he said, stopping to give Amelia a quick kiss before handing Carina her smoothie.

“I asked them if they had anything that was a good immune booster with strawberry and they gave me this,” he said, “So if it’s gross, don’t blame me.”

“It’s good,” Carina smiled, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Link said as he gave Amelia her smoothie, “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better physically,” Carina said, sitting back down on her bed so Link could have the chair, “Everything else is…I don’t know.”

“Hey, take the wins where you can get them,” Link said.

The three of them sat there for a while, drinking their smoothies while Link and Amelia chatted, Carina chiming in from time to time.

Once she finished her drink, Amelia went over to Carina, braiding her hair as the chatting continued.

“Alright Mrs. Bishop Deluca,” Amelia said, grabbing her tablet as it chimed, alerting her to a notification, “Let’s see what these lab results look like. Ok. So other than your elevated WBC, everything is back to normal, and your WBC has also come down thanks to the beauty of antibiotics so you are officially released.”

“I can go back to Maya?” Carina asked, already standing up.

“If you drank that smoothie, yes,” Amelia nodded.

“I did,” Carina nodded.

“Alright,” Amelia said, “I’ll help you take your stuff back to Maya’s room and then I am probably going to head home. I think Travis said he was going to come by and take a shift with Maya this morning.”

“Yeah,” Link nodded, “I’ve got a follow up with him in like 20 minutes so that’s probably right.”

“Would you be able to take my sweatshirt and wash it again?” Carina asked, not wanting to let it go, but knowing it needed a good washing.

“Of course,” Amelia nodded, “And I think Mer is working this afternoon so I’ll give it to her to bring back.”

“Grazie,” Carina said, grabbing her blanket off the bed.

“I’ve got to run,” Link said, looking at the clock, “I’ll drop by and check on you guys later, Carina. Amelia, I will see you later.”

“Bye,” Amelia said, giving him a quick kiss before he left before turning back to her friend, “Now, let’s get you back to that wife of yours.”

The two of them headed back to the ICU to Maya’s room.

When they entered, the first thing Carina noticed was that Maya was extubated, which she knew only meant good things for her wife’s prognosis.

She then noticed the bed the blonde was laying in and was beyond confused. Maya was in an extra-large hospital bed that they usually used for obese patients which her wife certainly was not.

“So, Amelia had an idea,” Bailey said as she saw the look on Carina’s face, “With how hard all of this had been for you, and because both you and your wife have talked about how much better you sleep by each other’s side, she thought this might be a way for you two to have that without it being unsafe for Maya. If you don’t think it’s a good idea, we can get the regular bed back in…”

Bailey didn’t even finish her thought as Carina’s eyes filled with tears.

“Thank you,” Carina said, “Thank you so much.”

“I think it will be good for both of you,” Bailey said, “Now, are you ready to start waking her up?”

“Si,” Carina nodded, turning to Amelia, “Thank you for this idea.”

“You both need each other like a fish needs water,” Amelia shrugged, “And you have been breaking my heart the past few days and I couldn’t just sit there and watch that keep going.”

“Amelia Shepard, you have a soft side,” Bailey said as she walked over to the two of them.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Amelia said, “I don’t want it to get out and have people think I’m not badass Amelia Shepard.”

Bailey just laughed as Carina smiled a little at her friend.

“I am going to head home now though,” Amelia said, “I need a shower and to sleep in a real bed. I will be back either tomorrow or the next day, but if anything changes, let me know. I can be back here if you need me.”

“Thank you for everything Amelia,” Carina said, “For staying with me, and helping me.”

“It’s what friends do,” Amelia shrugged, “Just make sure you are taking care of yourself.”

“I will,” Carina nodded as her friend left.

“Alright,” Bailey said, “We already started to lighten her sedation some after her scans but I am going to take her off of it completely, and hopefully, soon, she will be awake.”

“Can I sit by her?” Carina asked, desperate to get close to her wife again.

“Of course,” Bailey nodded, going over to Maya’s IV, adding something to reverse the sedation, “I have a few things to do, but I think Ben said Montgomery was coming by this morning?”

“I think so,” Carina nodded as she sat down on the bed next to Maya, carefully taking her wife’s uninjured hand in her own.

“Good,” Bailey nodded, “Have someone page me when she wakes up.”

“Grazie,” Carina said, laying down on her side in the bed, just staring at her wife.

Bailey left, heading out of the room as Carina relaxed.

The brunette just watched her wife’s beath going in and out, lulling her into an almost asleep state. However, she was broken out of it about twenty minutes later when Maya’s groaned, her hand moving a little.

“Bambina?” Carina said, sitting up just as Maya’s eyes blinked open, “Hey. Try not to move too much, ok?”

“What happened?” Maya rasped out, clearly confused, “I feel like shit.”

“I’m sure you do,” Carina said, a tear slipping down her cheek as she chuckled a little, “Do you remember you were in an accident?”

“Yeah,” Maya rasped, “But I don’t remember feeling this bad when I fell asleep.”

“Well, you fell asleep about four days ago,” Carina said, “You developed sepsis and had to be put in a medically induced coma to let your body heal.”

“Oh,” Maya said, still very sleepy and foggy.

Carina pulled out her phone, sending Bailey a text to let her know Maya was up, not feeling like going to find a nurse to page her.

“Is there anything you need, Bambina?” Carina asked, smoothing Maya’s hair back.

“Can I have a drink?” Maya asked.

“I will have to ask Bailey when she comes in,” Carina said, “You are probably going to be on a pretty strict food plan because your kidney is not working very well right now.”

“What?” Maya said, “Why?”

“Sepsis can do many things to the body,” Carina explained, “And your poor kidney was already struggling after you lost the other one. You are on dialysis right now, but your kidney is starting to work again.”

Maya nodded sleepily.

“Captain Bishop,” Bailey said, walking into the room, “I am happy to see you awake again.”

“Hey Bailey,” Maya said, smiling at her a little.

“How are you feeling?” Bailey asked, walking over to the bed.

“I’ve been better,” Maya said, “Though I guess I am better than I have been according to my wife.”

“That is true,” Bailey nodded, doing some checks on Maya, “And your wife is also much better than she has been because of it.”

“What happened Babe?” Maya asked, looking at Carina, noticing for the first time the stitches that Amelia had left visible when did the braids, trying to sit up only to wince in pain, “Why do you have stitches? What happened?”

“Bambina, calmati,” Carina said, “I am ok. I just had a little accident.”

“How?” Maya asked, not moving around so much because it hurt to do so.

“I hit my head,” Carina said, not really wanting to tell Maya what had happened.

“She passed out because she wasn’t eating or drinking,” Bailey said, giving Carina a look that told her Maya needed to know, “And she was sick. We got her all taken care of, don’t worry. But she has been informed that she will be taking better care of herself or she will not be allowed to stay here.”

“Babe,” Maya said, looking at her wife, seeing a look in her eyes that she often saw when Carina was struggling with PTSD and trying not to show it, the blonde’s frustration calming immediately.

“You look good Bishop,” Bailey said, noticing the exchange between the two women, wanting to give them privacy, “I will be back in a few hours unless you need me sooner. And I’ll have a nurse bring you in something to drink if you’re ready.”

“Please,” Maya nodded as Bailey left, giving all her attention back to her wife, “Babe, what is going on?”

“It’s just been hard,” Carina said, looking at her hands, “My PTSD has been making itself known again, and I have just been struggling with everything, but I talked to my therapist yesterday and we made a plan to try to help. Logically, I know you are not Andrea, but my brain cannot seem to believe that.”

“Oh babe,” Maya frowned, bringing her hand up and putting it on Carina’s cheek, wiping away one of the tears, wanting to leave it there but finding her arm too heavy, “I am so sorry you are going through this and I have been unconscious and not here to help.”

“No, you don’t apologize,” Carina said, shaking her head, “It is not your fault.”

“I know,” Maya sighed as she reached out and held Carina’s hand, finding that less exhausting, “I just wish I could have been there for you to help you through it.”

Carina nodded a little, sniffling as she tried to get the tears to stop. They just sat there for a few minutes, Maya starting to feel exhaustion set in, but she was determined to stay awake for Carina.

“Did Bailey say you got sick?” Maya asked, looking at her wife.

“Si,” Carina nodded, “I somehow caught strep and actually just got released from my own hospital room about an hour ago.”

“You had strep so bad you had to be hospitalized?” Maya asked, coughing a little as she did, wincing as the movement made everything hurt.

“Just be calm,” Carina said, looking up as a nurse came in, bringing with her a cup of liquid.

“Chief Bailey said she can have this,” the nurse said, “It’s a dilute electrolyte drink. If she can’t keep it down, let us know.”

“Thank you,” Carina nodded as Maya looked at her, “Bambina, want a drink?”

“Can I sit up a little?” Maya asked.

“Only if you do not try to use your muscles,” Carina nodded, having gotten those orders from Bailey earlier, “Let me put the bed up with the controller.”

Maya nodded as Carina slowly raised the bed a little.

“What kind of bed is this?” Maya asked, for the first time realizing how big the bed was.

“It is meant for very large patients,” Carina said, “But Amelia thought it would be good for you so we could share the bed.”

“Remind me to tell Amelia she is my favorite of your friends,” Maya said.

“Don’t tell Teddy or Jo that,” Carina chuckled a little as she finished raising the bed, only having Maya at a very slight angle, “They will not be happy.”

Maya just shrugged a little, wincing as her muscles protested the movement after being still for so long.

“Have a little drink,” Carina said, making sure an emesis bag was within reach just in case.

Maya took a small sip from the straw, frowning a little as she did.

“Is something wrong?” Carina asked, concerned.

“It’s like I can feel it going all the way down to my stomach,” Maya said, “It’s not bad, I don’t think, but it feels weird. I don’t want more yet. I want to make sure that settles ok.”

Carina nodded, setting the cup down.

“Now, in the hospital for strep?” Maya asked, looking at her wife.

“Well, mostly because of dehydration and poor nutrition,” Carina said, biting her lip, “Which is why I passed out and hit my head. But yes, I also had strep. I have been on antibiotics for 36 hours and my fever broke this morning so I am good. My throat still feels not very good, but it is getting there.”

“Sorry you have been having such a hard time,” Maya said. The brunette just shrugged, playing with the blanket she had brought with her.

“I am going to fall asleep soon,” Maya said, yawning.

“Of course,” Carina nodded, “Do you want me to lay the bed back down?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “Sitting like this is a little bit exhausting and I am worried I’ll hurt myself if I fall asleep like this.”

Carina quickly adjusted the bed back down before laying down next to Maya.

“I might fall asleep too,” Carina said, her own body still tired from being sick and exhausted, “But if you wake up and need me, just wake me up, ok?”

“I will,” Maya said, “But before you fall asleep, can I have something?”

“Anything,” Carina nodded, sitting back up, “I will go get whatever you want.”

“A kiss,” Maya requested, “I want a kiss.”

“That is easy to get,” Carina said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Maya’s chapped lips, “And because you have been such a good patient, I think you can have two.”

Maya smiled as Carina pressed another kiss to her lips. The blonde would have asked for another, but she yawned as Carina pulled back from the second on.

“Ok,” the OB said, “I think it is time for you to sleep. More kisses when you wake up, ok?”

“I’m holding you to that,” Maya mumbled, feeling her eyes slipping shut, “Love you Carina.”

“I love you too, Bambina,” Carina said, laying down next to her, finally feeling like she could relax a little bit now that Maya was finally awake.