Carrying the weight of the world
Izuku glanced up at the clock, still ticking on the wall. It was his last year of Middle School, and Izuku was finally going to be free. He would try out for UA, and he would be a hero. He would help others, those in need. He would be the first quirkless hero.
"Oh yeah, Midoriya, don't you want to go to U.A. too?"
Izuku had never hated the teacher more than at this very moment. All eyes turned to him as they burst out laughing.
"No way!"
"He's quirkless, he can't get into U.A!"
Izuku shrunk back, resolving himself to his notebook once again. Maybe they'd just leave him alone. It seemed to somewhat work until the end of class. He found himself not listening to the rest of what their teacher said.
I've always been ahead of my classmates academically just so everyone would have one less thing to hurt me with.
A Lot of good it did him though when the teachers would still try to single him out to boost their egos. Shutting his notebook, Izuku fixed his gaze out the window. The ground is still wet from the morning spring shower leaving the smell of wet concrete and nature's earthy scent to fill your senses. The afternoon sun shining its rose gold rays through the windows spilling on the desks with a warm glow. Adding an almost relaxing feel to the room.
Izuku felt a shiver run along his skin causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand but not from the cold. He glanced around the room and sure enough his emerald eyes locked with a pair of crimson ones.
Kacchan had a deep scowl and his eyes bored into Izukus. Then he smiled menacingly. His aggression poured out in waves almost suffocating the greenette. Panic begins to rise in Izuku's chest. I need to get out of here fast before Kacchan catches me. Quickly putting his things in his backpack to make a quick escape. He was shoved to the side as explosions burned his skin.
"Listen up, Deku." Bakugou sneered. "You're even worse than the rest of these damn rejects, you Quirkless wannabe! You really think they will let someone like you in when they could have the best of the best? You think you can compete with me, loser?"
Izuku struggled to stand, catching his breath for a moment.
"No way! You've got it all wrong!" He gasped out. "Really! I'm not trying to compete against you. You gotta believe me! It's just that, I've wanted to be a hero since I was little. I may not have a quirk, but I can still try my hardest, can't I?"
"You'd never be able to hang with the best of the best, you'd die in the exams! Defenseless Izuku, The school is already crappy, you really wanna embarrass it more by failing so hard!?" Katsuki laughed, red eyes falling to the 'Hero Analysis For The Future' notebook discarded on the ground.
"Huh?" One of Bakugou's lackeys cocked his head.
"'Hero Analysis for the Future'!? Don't tell me you're taking notes on how to be a hero!" Bakugou laughed again, picking the notebook up. " so pathetic!"
"He's delusional!" Another laughed from behind Katsuki.
"Hey! Give that back Kacchan please!" Izuku cried. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. He'd spent so much time on his analysis for this notebook in particular coding everything so that people wouldn't understand it.
Watching as his bully exploded it and threw it out the window. Still baffled that he still considered Katsuki his childhood friend.
"You know, if you really want to be a hero that badly, there actually might be another way." Katsuki pauses most likely for dramatic effect, before cracking a menacing smile. " Just pray that you'll be born with a Quirk in your next life, and take a swan-dive off the roof! That would make everyone feel better wouldn't it?"
Izuku's body froze like he'd been hit with an ice quirk chilling his blood. While his mind raced. T-take a swan-dive off the roof!?
He watched as the group laughed and scampered away, leaving a sobbing Izuku on the floor.
It took him a while, but he eventually pulled himself together enough to get out of the door. He found his notebook in the fish pond, directly outside the classroom window. Just his luck, really.
He sniffles and quickly swipes his tears away. Izuku started his walk home, turning around the corner of the school. My dreams are reduced to fish food, how fitting for my sad life.
He was completely alone, and was probably going to miss his train.
That idiot Kacchan! You can't go around telling people to kill themselves. What if I really jumped, what would he do then-
For the second time today, Izuku froze. What if he really jumped!?The thought almost excited him. He was useless, after all. Exactly, useless. You could never be a hero. Even your own father hated you! You're quirkless, who wouldn't hate you? A body diseased with inadequacy. It would be so easy, just jump off. A couple of texts, maybe. Just in case somebody missed him-
Nobody will miss me. People will celebrate my death. Everyone will be so happy, my mother won't have to waste her time on quirkless garbage like me. And I'll finally be free of this torment. Slapping his cheeks at the same time. What the heck are you thinking? Izuku! Don't give up just because things get tough! All might never gives up. And i'm gonna be a hero just like him. Yeah right like I could be as good as all might.
Izuku's thoughts saddened him to his core, it feels like he's breathing underwater. So he heads back into the empty school towards the music room. Singing along while he played the piano always made him feel better. Grateful that his mother had made him learn at a young age. Music always gave him a sense of purpose.
As he sat on the wooden bench a calmness rushed over his body almost like this is where he's meant to be. Closing his eyes as his hands hovered over the keys he released everything.
Laying in the silence
Waiting for the sirens
Signs, any signs I'm alive still
I don't wanna lose it
I'm not getting through this
Hey, should I pray? should I pray
To myself? To a God?
To a saviour who can
Flashes of the past run through his mind, the loss of his family and friends. The uncertainty of where his life is going.
Unbreak the broken
Unsay these spoken words
Find hope in the hopeless
Pull me out of the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet
Pull me out of the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out
Putting his whole heart into the song that best describes his feelings. His mothers smiling face flashes in his mind as he thinks of the countless sacrifices she's made over the years for him.
Underneath our bad blood
We still got a sanctum, home
Still a home, still a home here
It's not too late to build it back
'Cause a one-in-a-million chance
Is still a chance, still a chance
And I would take those odds
Unbreak the broken
Unsay these spoken words
Find hope in the hopeless
Pull me out of the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet
Pull me out the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out
You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you
I, I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God
Be my help, be a savior who can
His voice goes soft cracking as tears slip down his face. All of Izuku being stripped bare in a room full of no one. Everything he has been hiding in his heart.
Unbreak the broken
Unsay these reckless words (find hope in the hopeless)
Pull me out of the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet
Pull me out of the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out
He wipes his face and gets his backpack off the ground and heads home.
—
Izuku made a quick right turn under a bridge, to caught up in his own thoughts to realise the sludge building up underneath his feet.
"You'll make a perfect skin suit for me to hide in."
Izuku jumped, or he tried to jump. The sludge villain had a tight grip suffocating him.
All of his might he tries fighting it, his desperate attempts to push and pull the sludge off of him.
"Don't worry, I'm just taking over your body. It'll be easier for both of us if you don't fight back. It will only hurt for a minute. You'll feel better soon." The sludge villain laughed.
Don't worry he says.. Yeah right this is painful. But he has a point. I'll finally be gone, I deserve this don't i? Now I won't burden anyone anymore. My mother can find happiness without a stain like me in her life.
Izuku stopped struggling, allowing his body to fall limp. Accepting his inevitable death. The darkness is almost comforting. An odd feeling encased him, a sense of peace he had never felt before. Is this dying? It was really sad how lonely it is.
This villain had such an interesting quirk. He wondered how it worked. Did it encase him, or did he simply turn on-command? Does he have a normal body? How did he spring from the ground? Could he-
"Have no fear, for I am here!"
Was that All Might!? Holy crap, that was totally All Might.
"Now that I'm here, that is." All Might added. "Now, Texas..."
Izuku was practically breathless, and not just because he was almost suffocated.
"SMAAASH!!" and with that, the villain burst into pieces, dropping a hacking Izuku to the floor trying desperately to hold onto his consciousness until everything suddenly turned black.
Izuku was startled awake with a small pain on his right cheek, like someone was slapping him. Izuku then heard a familiar voice calling out to him. "Hey, hey, boy, wake up, hey– your not dead are you?"
" Five more minutes please mom" Izuku said in annoyance, swatting the air thinking that it was his own mother waking him up but then the sudden realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Oh, you're awake! That's great!" All Might said as he stood up from his previously crouching position. "I was worried that you might've been badly injured!"
"But I see that you're fine now! So I will go! If you should still be feeling unwell, I would advise you to go to the nearest hospital!" All Might said and turned around, preparing to jump.
"C-could yo-" Izuku stuttered before he said All Might raise his hand out to stop him.
"Already did, my boy! Well, if you are okay, then I must be on my way!" All Might said bending down preparing to jump away, All Might then leaped into the air soaring past several building as he flew across the city. However, something felt off, like he had just again 180 pounds on his legs, he turned his head to see the boy from before clutching his right leg and holding on for dear life.
"That was pretty reckless of you kid." All Might scowled as Izuku began to cough up the large amounts of bugs he had just swallowed while mid-air. "Make sure to knock on the door till someone lets you out." All Might finished as he turned to leave yet again.
"Wait!" Izuku called out in desperation. He needed to ask just one question. All Might turned to face him. "Can I be a hero even without a quirk?"
The man studied Izuku. He sighed. Shaking his head in disbelief at the question.
"Pro heroes are always having to risk their lives. Some villains just can't be beaten without power. So no, I honestly don't think you can be a hero without a quirk."
Izuku felt tears welling in his eyes as he looked away.
" If you want to help people, there's plenty of other ways to do it. You can become a police officer. They get crap because the heroes capture most of the villains, but it's a fine profession. It's not bad to have a dream young man, just... make sure your dreams are attainable and realistic" All Might continued.
And then he left.
Izuku raised a sleeve to dab at his eyes.
There it was the last sliver of hope dwindling in his chest. Proof that he will always be useless and could never be a hero. Stupid, thinking All Might of all people would tell you you could be a hero. You heard him! Stop wasting people's time.
Izuku stood there for another 10 minutes, just thinking.
So Izuku did what he did best, forced a smile, not sure what other expression he could have in his dream crushing situation. He shouldn't have deluded himself for so long. Everyone told him he could never be a hero. They were right.
Suddenly the familiar sounds of loud explosions rang out just a few streets over, smoke filled the air as he could practically taste it. He felt a pang in his chest. Usually a villain fight would excite him but instead it just hurt. For the first time in his life, Izuku just didn't want to care what some hero was doing. Instead he was exhausted mentally and physically just wanting to cry himself to sleep and never wake up to the nightmare that is his life.
As Izuku left the roof of the building he shot a look towards the fire and shouts he could hear, from first glance he recognized most of the hero's there and the villain..
The same cillain that had tried to kill him earlier that day. Guilt riddled Izuku's body making his movements toward the front of the crowd rigid and suddenly realized the bottle containing the villain must have fallen out of All Might's pockets when he so recklessly grabbed on to him. This was all my fault! The person trapped is suffering.
Once Izuku got closer he noticed that all of the heroes were just watching whispers floating amongst them on how their quirks were not suitable in this situation, basically making themselves spectators just keeping damage control to a minimum on the sidelines. Izuku didn't pay much attention though. His eyes never strayed from the villain.
Making his way to the front, he wanted to see the person he had just condemned to a slow painful death and when he saw sludge's victim Izuku felt a small part of himself die. Kacchan? Oh gods! Oh no! Not him!
While he hadn't been friends with the boy since they were four years old, to clarify he regularly bullied and assaulted him for his Quirkless status, Izuku still felt awful. He saw the angry but fearful look in katsukis eyes. A group of Quirked people standing there doing nothing, he saw heroes doing nothing. He had to do something.
His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest, it was beating so fast he could practically hear it even with the countless explosions, Izuku's feet moved on their own, running past the pros and into the side street, his chest felt like it was about to burst his throat on fire like words were trying to vomit themselves out, but Izuku pressed on. Izuku then took his school bag and launched it towards the villain to obscure their vision. The contents of the bag spilled out, hitting the villain in the eyes. Making the sludge villain's grip loosen on Katsuki.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT!" Katsuki screamed as he gasped for air.
" My body just moved. I couldn't just watch you die" Izuku said with a wobbly smile, tears pouring down his face as Izuku grabbed Katsuki's arm trying to wrench him out but he's just not strong enough. A sudden warmth bubbles in his chest up his throat wanting to escape. So when izuku opens his mouth he screams " LET HIM GO AND STOP MOVING!"
The sludge villain freezes and drops katsuki out of the goop. Eyes wide with fury at the realization.
"YOU BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME? I'LL KIL– The villain abruptly ceased from his Shouts as Allmight appears grabbing both boys by the arms.
"DETROIT SMAASSSSSSHHHH!!!" Allmights voice bellows loud as his fist punch through the air causing it to rain. All Might had changed the weather with a single punch. The world was utterly silent for a single moment as the shock of what happened set into the crowd.
Izuku's eyes went to Katsukis who was catching his breath near him. His eyes were practically glowing with rage, never letting it fall from the greenette.
The smallest boy tore his eyes away, pulling himself into a sitting position so he could quickly stand and make his escape. But that was too good to be true. All Might was flooded with reporters and Izuku was surrounded by heroes and police, lecturing him about what he had done. He flinched at every shout towards him but dare not refute because that could only worsen his situation. They had done nothing while Katsuki was on the brink of death in front of the world. It didn't make their words hurt any less.
Izuku was finally released and he left the crowd behind him, walking in the direction of home. His steps were jerky as his anxiety overtook his body. Everything about today had just steeled his resolve on what he was going to do. So he walks past his normal route home and heads for dagobah beach.
When he gets there all he can see is giant piles of trash. So he goes and climbs up one so he can sing out his frustrations. What izuku didn't know was that there were 2 sets of eyes watching him all from different locations of the piles of garbage.
With eyes squeezed shut and a deep breath in the words pour out like vomit.
I'm sitting here cold as ice
Swallow my friend's advice
Praying it'll bring you back to me
Designed for radio static and
Start hearing your voice reply
Almost like you're right here with me
Thoughts of the day playing in his mind on a loop.
"Just pray that you'll be born with a Quirk in your next life, and take a swan-dive off the roof! That would make everyone feel better wouldn't it?"
So don't tell me when it's over
I don't wanna know
I'm done carrying the weight of the world
So heavy on my shoulders
I just wanna feel this love
Even if it's only when I'm
Tripping, I see your face
I ain't doing no one a favor
While I'm sober for the moment
I can only hope it's lust
'Cause when the high stops, then I know that you're gone
Over and over all the words he's heard all of his life rattle around even behind closed eyes.
He's not worth anything! He's a deku! A defect, defenseless, worthless! Can't believe hes still alive! The insults over the years cling to him like words to paper.
So stay and hold me like a paperweight
Kiss me like it's all the same
Just lovers like we were supposed to be
Whole as these shapes
And call as I start to fade
I can feel you slipping away
Just promise that you'll wait right here for me
His quirklessness, his mothers apologies and his fathers leaving all to present for him. All of the things that have been dug deep into his heart flowing out of him into the world.
Until I find another dose
Won't make it on my own
I'm done carrying the weight of the world
So heavy on my shoulders
I just wanna feel this love
Even if it's only when I'm
Tripping, I see your face
I ain't doing no one a favor
While I'm sober for the moment
I can only hope it's lust
'Cause when the high stops, then I know that you're gone
When the high stops, then I know that you're gone, ooh-ooh
Oh, so don't tell me when it's over
'Cause I don't wanna know
I'm done carrying the weight of the world
So heavy on my shoulders
I just wanna feel this love
Even if it's only when I'm
Tripping, I see your face
I ain't doing no one a favor
While I'm sober for the moment
I can only hope it's lust
'Cause when the high stops, then I know that you're gone
Yeah, it's too hard to face it
Know that you're gone
His voice fades as his chest is heaving and tears won't stop falling. Why? Why cant i be loved like everyone else? Why can't I be like everyone else?
His sadness consuming his being, his body shaking from the overflowing emotions that threatened to break out.
Reaching into his pocket and pulling out its contents he looks down at his phone. I'll try calling mom. Maybe that will help.
The phone kept ringing but to no avail there was no answer..
"I'm sorry, the person you are trying to contact is unavailable right now. Please try your call again later."
Hanging up he decides to send a text.
Hey, mom. Sorry about bugging you while your busy. I just wanted to see if i should pick up anything from the store for dinner. Alots happened today but dont worry im safe ill be home soon. I love you mom. "
Izuku makes his descent down the mountain of garbage he perched himself on. His thoughts are still all over the place but singing has really helped calm himself. Exiting the beach he heads home. Within a few minutes he could see his home just down the road. He was so distracted by the events of today he didn't notice a purple portal open up beside him.
All of a sudden Izuku was being lifted off the ground with a cloth placed over his nose and mouth. He began kicking and scratching. Attempting to scream with all he could muster but the large hands were clamped tightly to his face.
" It's ok young one! Your father has instructed me to bring you to him. So calm down and sleep, we will be there momentarily." the man said in an even tone.
Izuku glanced one last look, tears streaming down his face at his mothers home. Reaching his hand out with a silent plea of his mother rescuing him. But then his vision went black.
---
Tomura shigaraki has everything thanks to his sensei. Or so he had thought until his eyes fell upon a young boy unconscious on the floor of the bar. He has fluffy curls the color of spring grass.
"Kurogiri? What is this npc doing here?" Tomura said with his head cocked to the side.
"Sensei has had me bring you a gift Tomura Shigaraki. He has informed me that this boy has a strong quirk that can aid you for future endeavors. Sensei has also mentioned that this boy is his offspring and has gifted him to you to use as you see fit. He is not to be harmed in any way other than training." Kurogiri explains while cleaning a glass behind the wooden bar.
Tomura kept his eyes on the boy's sleeping figure, blood boiling at the thought of his sensei having another family. He would've just killed the boy right there for existing in his space but he had strict orders to not harm the boy from Sensei himself. Not yet at least. Why would Sensei care so much for this child and why hasn't he mentioned him before? He wasn't sure but he will have a better idea after the child wakes up.
"Kurogiri take the kid out of my sight. I have a meeting with some low level npcs for recruitment. Inform me as soon as he wakes up."
"Yes Tomura Shigaraki." Kurogiri says as he goes to move izuku.
-------
Izuku awakens from his deep sleep as he is greeted with throbbing pain, drumming in his head. An old book smell caught his attention.
Gathering his senses, he stayed nicely tucked under a bunch of suffocating yet cozy blankets, sheltering him from the threatening cold air, enveloped in a wave of drowsiness and fatigue. Taking in his surroundings, Izuku notices he's on a couch in a library. Izuku's eyes widened in shock, at his unfamiliar location suddenly it dawned on him what happened on his way home. And all the memories of the day rushing through his mind. Sending a chill of fear over him.
Izuku goes to stand abruptly forgetting the blanket on his lap he face plants onto the floor. The pain im his face confirming that this indeed is real. As he rapidly realizes that he was not, for whatever reason, did not dream of being kidnapped. Today really is the worst.
"Good evening, Izuku Midoriya."
Izuku cast his eyes on the speaker.. a man? Maybe, by the outfit and deep voice.. is it his quirk? Is he made of fog? Or is it swirls of purple mist? Does he have a full body? The consistency was thick. Almost like what did mommy say they were? A pass.. No.. Oh yea a porta..
Izuku quickly slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide realizing that he was mumbling out loud. Catching the man's eyes on him, studying him for his ramblings.
"S-sorry sir." Izuku tumbles out.
"There is no need to apologize to me Izuku Midoriya. I should be the one apologizing for showing up abruptly with no warning. I was told to have you meet young master tomura in the bar. So if you'll please follow me this way we shall be there shortly." The man began exiting the room. Izuku rushed to his feet, stumbling to catch up.
------
Tomura watches as Kurogiri's portal opens and the green haired boy steps through.
"Welcome to your new home npc" he says with a menacing grin. The boy stumbles back whole body shaking as he cowers in fear. Oh this is gonna be fun!