13

- So you're saying you became a magician after escaping captivity, created an Iron Man suit, and resurrected a goddess from Scandinavian legends who died in a battle with an alien robot? Did I get that right? - The scepticism in Rhodes' tone could be scooped out with ladles and eaten. It was so thick. But immediately afterwards, he relaxed back in his chair, raising his palms forward: "All right, Tony, where's the camera? When are the cameramen going to jump out at me with a cry, "It's e Prank!"?

- And you weren't surprised by the girl's strength dragging me all over the garage? - Stark asked, raising his left eyebrow.

They were all in the living room now. He and Pepper were sitting on one side of the semicircular sofa, Bruce and Betty on the other, with the Asgardian girl, covered with plaid, sniffling between them, asleep with the enhanced sleep charms since the standard ones just didn't work. In the chair opposite the couch at the coffee table was Rowdy, who kept waiting for the message about the prank but didn't hear it.

- With your resources, you could have made a more convincing production. Those occult rituals in the garage don't go with the technological gadgets.

- All right, mate, you really got me! - In the tense silence, Tony suddenly replied with a smile, walking over to Rhodes and opening his arms.

Pepper and a couple of scientists looked at Stark in surprise and incomprehension.

- Phew, it's been a long time coming, Tony! - Rowdy stood up, hugged his friend and suddenly felt his holster become lighter.

His HK P2000 pistol was in the hand of the billionaire, who jumped back, extremely deftly disengaged the safety, and before anyone could do anything, shot himself in the palm of his hand, stunning everyone around him.

- What the fuck are you doing! Pepper, get the...

Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes knew what even a pistol-calibre bullet could do to human flesh, and he expected to see his palm shot through and bleeding because the bones in his palm were thin enough to be easily penetrated. And the hole must be quite large. Stark, however, calmly removed the muzzle and showed the forty-five calibre bullet flattened against the skin. When he peeled it away from his skin, the palm of his hand was completely uninjured, just a little sooty with powder gases.

- Was that a prank, too? Or was that a toy gun?

- Fucking hell, Tony, are you out of your mind? - James exclaimed, staring at his friend's hand in disbelief.

- Yeah, Tony, I want to know the answer to that question too," Pepper added angrily, rubbing her ears.

A gunshot in a confined space was no fun for anyone. At least the room was big.

- How else was I supposed to prove it? Any manifestation of magic can be explained by a technique, a hologram. I'd be here all night convincing him," Stark shrugged, pulling out a silver-plated medallion with a ruby depicting a Celtic triquetra with runes. - By the way, Pepper, here you go. I made this at my leisure.

- When did you become a jeweller?

The girl didn't catch the locket, so she had to pick it up indignantly from the floor. But all resentment disappeared when she saw how delicate the work was. It couldn't be cast, only hand-carved under a microscope.

- It's beautiful!

- It's a defence medallion. It'll heal me, shield me, pull a portkey to my house. I've tested it; it can take a machine gun bullet but not an RPG-7, so don't go under a grenade launcher.

- When did I ever get under a rocket launcher? That's your prerogative! - Potts shook her red curls in anger. - Will you help me put it on?

- Sure. Oh, I almost forgot, put some blood on it... Saliva will do.

- Tony, stop, you fucking masafucker! - exclaimed the sagging Rowdy. - What was that just now? What are you, Superman or something? Or a mutant?

- Which answer would you prefer? - Stark grinned, a little sadness in his voice. - But I'm not human anymore, that's for sure.

Going to the round counter in the kitchen, which flowed smoothly into the living room, Tony opened the bar, took out glasses and made rum with cola, lime and ice for his friend, who had not fully recovered from the shock. He gratefully accepted the almost full tumbler of his favourite drink and immediately half drained it.

- Tony, what are you going to do with that? What did you call it? Asgardian? - asked Bruce, who was shy to ask Stark for one for himself too, but he understood his look correctly and, not to offend the others, made one for everyone at once.

Taking the glass, Benner thanked the landlord:

- Thank you.

- I'll give him money and clothes and let him go wherever he wants, you ungrateful arse.

- But it's not a bad arse," Betty joked.

- One arse isn't enough to tolerate a super-powered alien in my house who's hostile to me. And I resurrected her, by the way!

- Sorry to intrude on your all-important conversation about women's arses," Pepper grinned as she sipped her cocktail, "but, Tony, she doesn't know anything about our world. That's from your words, not mine. And you're ready to, as you put it, throw a super-powered alien out on the street? How long will it take for the bodies to show up?

- You're suggesting we give her to Shields?

- And what will you tell Thor, who'll probably find out about her and ask you what you did to his mate or, even worse, his mistress?!

- How dare you Midgardians defame my honour as a warrior? I did not lie with the son of Odin! - Lady Sif stopped pretending to be asleep.

- But I'd like to, wouldn't you? - Tony switched to true vision and saw that the girl was not being entirely honest.

Admittedly, his relaxation was purely playful; he was ready to activate the paralysation bracelet on her arm in the form of an Uroboros. He had several 'crafts' that were standard Pierce blanks or copied jewellery from Tiffany's. Gotta practice artefacting on something, right? He didn't have a mind spirit cheater or his own time-accelerated domain, so he had to make it up independently.

- I hope you won't attack us now, Lady Sif.

- I would like to apologise, iron warrior and great mage. I saw you helping Thor before I left for the gates of Valhalla, but I didn't recognise it at first. I am grateful for your resurrection," the girl stood up and bowed, holding the plaid to cover her nakedness. - I will repay this debt in a big way... But how could you give me some clothes? And what is this bracelet on my arm?

- The bracelet is to make sure you behave like a good girl. No breaking things, no touching my friends," he glanced at Rowdy, who was eating the blonde's figure, but corrected himself: "Unless they ask. I'll get you some clothes.

Going downstairs, Tony brought a bundle of leather and metal. When Sif took it, she was surprised to see that it was her own armour, only repaired. It occurred to her, though, that such a great mage with the ability to resurrect, it would be no problem to repair some clothes. And the girl could not even somehow disdain Stark because, unlike Loki, Tony was a warrior who, according to conversations with friends, is respected by Thor and who destroyed the Destroyer! Asgardians respected strength, and the same Allfather One, besides being the greatest warrior, was the best magician in Asgard.

- Pepper, will you show the lady to the guest room where she can change?

- You've probably forgotten where it is yourself," Potts snorted. - Lady Sif, follow me.

- Forget where the guest room is? - Rowdy raised an eyebrow.

- You know, guests usually sleep in my bedroom," Tony said with a chuckle.

- I think I'll help Pepper," Betty wasn't interested in hearing men talk about their affairs. Still, the new girl, on the contrary, interested her.

Her blood test alone was worth a lot! In general, she struggled with normal human curiosity and the itch of a scientist, so the brunette retreated, leaving the three men alone. Or rather, two and a half because Bruce, who could not tolerate alcohol, was already drunk, having taken three ramblers with a cocktail.

- Did you like the Asgardian girl? - Stark asked snidely. - Forget it. She'll tear your arse in a fit of passion. And literally, with bare hands, - the genius vividly showed a pantomime of torn arse.

- No, I didn't even think... Okay, I thought about it, but she's not my level, - said the soldier wistfully, grabbing the next glass.

- Try her. She's a warrior, too, maybe as simple and straightforward as you are. Walk up to her and say, "Baby, you want to try my black Alabama snake?"

- You bastard, Stark! That was a one-time thing. And that was on a bet with you! I'd almost forgotten about it.

- And the girl at the bar who agreed to it probably hasn't forgotten and remembers your black snake," Tony couldn't help but laugh.

After a second, Rowdy shook himself, gurgling into his glass, and then he laughed, wiping away his tears.

- But seriously, give it a try. You don't get beaten for trying... Although this one might. But I'll bring you back to life.

- Thank you, that's comforting.

- You're always welcome, mate. - Stark patted him on the shoulder, glancing at Benner, who had fallen asleep. - Now that the former Mr Green is asleep, we can talk business.

- You don't want to talk in front of him? You don't trust him?

- No, it's not that; it's just something I had to say. Anyway, I need your connections to help me promote my designs for the military, which I'll be showing at the Stark Expo.

- You're on record saying you're not making weapons, right?

- So it's not weapons; it's armour and protective gear. I'll provide specs, specs, specs and video footage.

- I can't promise they'll be accepted, but I'll show them to the right people. The kind of people who don't think a soldier is a waste of money.

- That's all I ask," Stark nodded.

Mostly, he was reassuring himself since his reputation ran ahead of his own. So, no matter how he was treated in the press, the military never complained about the quality and effectiveness of his products. The same "Ozcorp" or "Hammer Industries" do not reach in this respect. And suppose the former is because of the dubiousness and insanity of the projects. In that case, the latter is even in terms of quality.

The girls returned only after forty minutes, and Stark immediately understood why. Sif was not dressed in armour but in tight blue trousers that emphasised her shapely and not muscular legs and ass, white trainers and the same blouse with ruffles, under which the outline of her breasts without a bra could be guessed. However, given Pepper and Betty's size, a two-and-a-half would hardly fit them.

- You look lovely, Lady Sif," Stark commented under the heavy gulp of Rhodes, who was staring at the girl. Which made it necessary to punch him in the shoulder to bring him to his senses.

Tony had seen her naked and was used to women's bodies - he'd been in his bed with all kinds of beauties. But the soldier, who for a long time for the first time got his legal day off, was hungry for women, and he liked Sif very much.

- Pepper, Betty, nice work.

- I think we should go shopping together and buy some more clothes," commented the CEO of Stark Industries.

It's not that she didn't have things to do, but even an iron lady needs a change of activity and rest. And there's motive and interest.

- Can't she go to Asgard?

- I tried to shout to Heimdall, but no one answered me," the warrior said, confused. - That means he's dead, or the rainbow bridge has been destroyed. Either way, there's no way home yet, but I promise I won't eat my bread for nothing! No worthy son or daughter of Vanaheim has ever been a freeloader!

- Is the Rainbow Bridge the beam you use to travel?

The girl nodded.

- 'And what are your skills?

- I know how to fight, iron warrior!

- Just call me Tony," Stark grumbled. - And as for fighting... Hmm, can you defend?

- I've had my share of such assignments.

- Can I trust you after your attack?

- I apologise again, worthy. I thought I was brought back to an undead body by dark magic! But I swear on my honour that I will repay you and lay down my life for your protection or whomever you direct," Sif said proudly, chest heaving under Rowdy's gaze.

- I'll think about what you said," Stark nodded, not agreeing yet.

On the one hand, if she's as dull-witted and straightforward as Thor, she won't be a set-up. But what if she isn't? What if it's some kind of devious game and mask? Who knows, those aliens?

- By the way, Pepper, didn't you come to see me with your papers?

- I thought you wouldn't remember," Potts replied with a smile, pulling out a bulky folder of papers and a pen, to which the inventor looked up in grief.

He'd rather be back in the cave collecting armour than this bureaucracy! But it was part of his job, without which he could not do the things he loved to do. And Pepper was good enough as it was; she only brought in documents for him to sign that wouldn't go without his signature. And each document had a sticker attached to it, on which, in beautiful, almost calligraphic female handwriting, was written what the document was, what it was for, and where it would go. Since it would take a small lorry to haul all the contracts. And that's because now she had a bunch of assistants, and before she managed alone! Although there used to be a Board of Directors, which at the moment consisted of only two people - Tony and Pepper proper. As Tony began to read the documents diagonally and quickly, Potts continued:

- "By the way, I recently had Natalie Rushman apply for an assistant position. Her CV is perfect, but...

- Jarvis told you she's a Shield agent? Yes, yes, I know, accept her," the billionaire commented without looking up from the document he was signing.

- But... Why? You said yourself that she's an agent.

- At least we know who she is! And if next time someone unknown, from the outside, comes? By the way, we have about three dozen sitting ducks in various corporate positions. From Ozcorp, Hammer Industries, Wilson Fisk's people, Shields, and others... I'm not even talking about little things like the FBI; there's a whole department. Jarvis leads them all on a wild goose chase and feeds them disinformation. In any case, I have the main technology here," he pointedly circled the garage, then tapped his index finger on his temple: "And here. Let the big boys play spy.

- Boys are always boys, aren't they? I can tell from you.

- You bet I am. I'm the ultimate example. - Stark proudly thrust his chest forward and looked at Sif: - By the way, lady, do you know how to shoot a gun?

- A true warrior fights with steel!

- No, you don't. Pepper, get some good instructors or even get that Natalie girl to train her. The Shield will find out our guest's identity anyway, so it's a win-win for them and a gamble.

- They'll pay us for it, too," Pepper's face had the predatory grin of a real businesswoman for a second.

Because no matter how harmless and modest she looked, you are either a predator or a victim in big business. And many people made the mistake of thinking Potts was the latter, which she played on to create that image.

- Shall we go on a date? - Stark asked after finishing his paperwork. - You know, me, the moon, Delorean and two burritos.

- Very tempting, especially about the burritos. But I'm all business because of you, by the way," she pointed accusingly at him. - But I expect a burrito and a date during the Stark Expo!

- You got it," Stark grinned and nodded at Rowdy, who gave him a thumbs-up. - Learn while I'm alive. Ahem, Betty, can I help you?

- My boyfriend's drunk, I'll carry him," Betty said. - Besides, seeing his face in the morning when he's hung over will be fun.

- Scary woman," said Tony when the scientist and Pepper had gone. - She could stop a hulk at a gallop and walk into a radioactive lab.

- She'd make a great warrior," Sif nodded in agreement.

- But she'd make a better scientist," Stark disagreed. - By the way, do you have a soul mate, Miss Sif?

- I had one, but he chose a mortal," the girl replied bitterly, unable to hold back a grimace of grief.

And Tony remembered seeing a pretty girl among the civilians protected by Thor.

- I thought I could attract him if I became a warrior.

- Friendzone," Stark shrugged.

He had not escaped it either, for he had not been handsome in his youth but rather the opposite. Pimply and greasy hair. Even though he was already the company's soul and could ride on charisma or wealth, as often happens, Stark was always attracted to the most inaccessible.

- It's a nasty business. You must get your facts straight before you get your hopes up.

- I reckon that bloke was a fool! - The voice of James, who had reached the stage of intoxication when his tongue was loose but still intelligible, finally broke through. - Such a beautiful, strong woman!

- Your words are sweet, Midgardian.

- Especially your hair, so beautiful, golden.....

- Golden? Do you see it like that? - she almost jumped.

- Yes, what else would it be like?

- So do I," Stark nodded. - Can you explain what the problem is?

- Loki put a nasty spell on me. Everyone saw my golden curls as blacker than night, dirty and tangled, no matter how I styled them or even if I cut my hair! - The shock passed, and the girl smiled: "So death took it off me!

- Good for you. By the way, Rowdy isn't just a Midgardian; he's a warrior like you and a warlord! - Tony promoted his friend. - Oh, I almost forgot, I've got much more to do!

Stark retreated, leaving the guy and the girl from different worlds to regale each other with warrior tales and tales of combat. It wasn't that he wasn't interested or pandering; he just decided to give them a chance. Tony would ensure his mate didn't get his arse ripped open if it didn't work out.