Bonus Chapter 2: A Fresh Start and a New Name

Gwen: "Amar?!"

Amar: "Gwen"

I stopped cold in want I was about to do.

The blade just resting against my bare chest, as I starred to Gwen to my side.

I didn't know what to do...

I couldn't take my life while she was watching, but I wanted to do it.

I wanted I all to end...

What point is there to living at this point...

Either I die now without any pain, or I starve on the streets and whittle away day by day trying to cling to my once dear life.

Gwen: "What are you d-doing! W-why do you have a knife with you?!"

Amar: "What does it look like to you..."

I barely had the strength to talk back to her as I myself don't know if I should plunge this balde into my heart right now or not.

Maybe it is better if she is here. That way when I die, someone I know will be here to call the cops to take my body away and keep my company as I lay dying in pain.

It's better than having my body decompose until it's discovered.

Gwen: "I know what that is! Why do you have it! What a-"

Amar: "I'm going to kill myself...what else will I do with it."

Gwen: "W-why?!"

Amar: "Why do you even care? You are just a friend. That's it. You will be like everyone else and just say the same old thing that life still has value to it. That I should go on living, for what? To suffer? To live a life of regret and failure? I am one of those people who failed. And now karma has caught up with me. I-"

I stopped my rantings when I saw soem drops of water coming down Gwen's face.

*sob*

Gwen: "I...I don't want to see you go...*sob*...to leave me...*sob*..."

Gwen dropped to her knees and covered her face with her hands as she silently sobbed in soundless alley we were in.

I didn't know what to do at this point.

I didn't expect this kind of response from her.

I pondered over her words as she continued crying silently, but her sobs were as loud as the sound of banging drums right next besides my ears.

I approached her and had lowered the knife. It was still in my hand. Even if I wasn't going to commit suicide as of this moment. It was still a dangerous place to be in.

Amar: "What do you mean by 'leave you'?"

I held Gwen in a hug in an attempt to comfort her. I always sympathised with others since I myself understand what it feels to be like this.

Gwen: "I was always picked on by everyone...*sob*...because I was born with a deformity on my face...*sob*...My family had gotten plastic surgery done for me and my situation improved when I moved schools. But I didn't know how to fit in with anyone, because I had kept my distance, ir others stayed away from me in the past, so I ended up being Anti-social. Everyone stayed away from as I would randomly have panic attacks from time-to-time in classes. You must have heard of it?"

I did indeed. Everyone had called her possessed or some sort of freak in school. I was also quite Anti-social so I never followed up on the rumours. Most of them were online in social media I presume, but I didn't have a phone back in school so that's another reason why I don't know any details about it.

I nodded my head at her words as she continued. Her sobs had been controlled by now, but she was still crying.

Gwen: "It didn't help either that I had a photographic memory. Everyone just had more of a reason to pick on me and attributed that to the possession thing again. I never had any friends apart from the ones my sister and brother had, but they were in different schools and I never felt a closeness with them. No genuine relationship with any boy or girl. Until you."

Amar: "Me?"

Gwen: "You were the only one that...I thought if as a friend. You didn't interact with many people either, and you didn't view me like everybody else. How were even willing to talk to me. And when I couldn't get whenever i wasn't with you, I always felt alone. I didn't feel like doing anything else apart from waiting until I could meet up with you again. Even the insults you made of me, they weren't serious, they were meant as jokes. And I liked it. You didn't bully me, but joked with me. Even all the rest, I was happy. And now, *sob* I find you here *sob* going to KILL YOURSELF!!! WHY?!"

Amar: "You don't understand Gwen. My life was shit..."

Gwen: "Then make me understand! How am I supposed to know! If you don't tell me!"

*sigh*

Amar: "Fine. When I was young..."

And after that, I began to tell her my life story, or the summery of it that was.

When I finished, we both hugged each other as we sat and leaned against a wall. Our clothes were wet with the filth of the alley, but we didn't even notice.

Amar: "Now you know, now you understand why I was going to do this. I have no will to live...no hope left fir me to remain in this world..."

*Slap!*

My face stung and I sawyer to the side from the suddenness of it.

When I realised what happened, I saw Gwen crying again and her hand was outstretched from the slap she had given me.

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We stayed as we were for a few moments, nit doing or saying anything. We just stared at exactly other, I can tell she was thinking about what to say.

It was something I multiple can tell from a glance since I have done it many times before.

Gwen: "Hope is what makes us strong, it is what we have left when all else is gone. It is the one thing that cannot be taken from you. When you surrender to despair and terror, is when Hope dies. Never relinquish that which makes you strong, that which makes you...you."

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I sat in place where I was, I didn't move as i pondered over her words.

Her words...maybe I was wrong. My mother felt the same way. She always believed I would succeed in life if I tried. Maybe I should try, just fir once in my pathetic life...try to make an actual difference.

If not for myself or anyone....but fur my deceased mother and for Gwendolin.

What Amar didn't know, was that if Gwen had not said any of that, he would have committed suicide. But thanks to Gwen's unique choice of words, she had just saved him from death.

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A few weeks later...

Gwen: "Do you really wnat to do this? Won't it feel weird for you?"

I was walking beside Gwen to an Passport Office to notify them of my name change.

In the last few weeks I had been able to get a job to thanks to Gwen's help.

With her smarts, she had actually helped me to create a CV, by constantly teaching, pointing ouylt and telling me what to improve and why to change it after every time she reviewed it.

She also helped in giving me possible jobs to look for.

It may have been like she was guiding me and spoon-feeding me the whole time, but she wasn't.

She helped me get started and taught me alot, so I can learn afro my mistakes and gain experience from it.

As next time, she won't help me at all, or she said she was going to take him in to his family home.

I don't want that as I would be taking advantage of them and go back to my old ways.

She was able to provide just enough money for me to not stay off the streets, but just enough to survive. She said I need a job if I wanted anything more.

That was also a source of motivation as I had only a bedroom on the floor. Still much better than on the streets in the cold.

With that I was able to get a good apprenticeship as a cleaner. I started small, a cleaner job required the least amount of qualifications, if any at all.

I will get a better one in the future when I can.

Amar: "Yes. I want to actually change myself and start a better life...a new life. A fresh start. And to do that, i need a new name."

Gwen: "Yeah, but what are you going to choose?"

Amar: "Adrian."

Gwen: "Adrian?"

Amar: "What? Got a problem with that?"

Gwen: "No...but you're Asian. Why pick a non-Asian name. Feels weird with that beard of yours."

Amar: "Don't ever mock a man's beard!!! That's Blasphemy you Heretic!!!"

Gwen slapped me on the back as I was berating her for her insults against all men everywhere!!!

A man's beard!

Especially an Asian's beard, it is a sacred artifact!!!!

(A/n I'm Asian do It's not racist. I know I wanst racist right now, but some idiots will think that I was...for some reason...this happens alot, that's why I write this note.)

Gwen: "Anyway. What are you going to choose as a last name?"

Amar: "I'm thinking of Hawke."

Gwen: *pfffft* Hahaha! You choose Hawke? Hawke from Dragon Age? Hahaha! You really do love games! What next? You going to have Shepard from Mass Effect as your middle name now? Hahaha!"

I regret telling her this.

She's going to mock me as I did her.

I really do wonder what she might look like with white hair.

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Person: "Congratulations. Your name has now been changed to Adrian Hawke. Will that be all. If so, please sign here and your name change will be done."

And with that, my new life began as an old one ended.

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Gwen: "You wanna play some games?"

Adrian: "Seriously? You know I'm still broke right now? I only got a job three weeks ago."

Gwen: "Aaaaawwww toooooo baaaaadd, then maybe you should earn some if you want to ever beat me in Star Wars Battlefront 2."

Adrian: "What nonsense are you talking about? I've beaten you plenty of times."

Gwen: "You haven't played everyone yet. You haven't played as Boba Fett. I bet I'll bear you in a first to 15 point game on your first time playing Boba!"

Adrian: "We'll see about that. I'll kill myself if I lost to you on my first time as Boba! He's a badass! Shame you can't use the Dark Saber."

Gwen: "Then you better get working and earning to get those games you love so muuuch~"

Adrian: "Stop teasing me. I'll get it, just wait. But before Star Wars, I'll get some other games first. I wanted to play them fir a while. After them, I'll play Battlefront with you."

Gwen: "Looking forward to it."

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To be continued...Bonus Chapter 3: Soulmates' first Date