Selfishness

VOLUME 2 - PART 2: BLOOD RAIN

Hearing her heart beat faster than his makes him want to be gentle with her. But, seeing her flushed cheeks and attempts to cover her face. Toh knew he wouldn't be able to do it. Since she removed her clothing, and looked at him with determination in her eyes. Since he found her in that state, crying. Toh felt desperate.

'I'm in love with you.'

He didn't want to be the first one to said it. But, even now he could feel her trembling and those tears. He has seen he cry like that before. It was the day after Tsueno brought her to his place after her suicide attempt.

His gut feeling was that her tears were for Terashima.

He isn't as good at reading people as her. But, even he understood this was to do with Terashima Yuhi.

She isn't sleeping with him because she loves him.

But the reason he is still going through with this is because, he is in love with her. Such deep love, that he will blindly love her even for her faults.

Toh brushed her bangs away and lightly kissed her forehead and eyelids.

Don't cry Sumire.

'I understand. But even so, I want you. Your not the only one being selfish here.'

...….

Two weeks later.

The Crescent university fashion show finally took place. A day after they returned from their trip, the university organisers told him to finish his preparations and confirmed the date with him. When he told Sumire about it, she seemed nervous and yet she acted so naturally on that runway. Sure she stumbled a few times during practice but on the actual day, today she shone so brightly.

When he saw her on that stage wearing the design he had been working on for months, for even before their meeting. Toh felt like he wasn't good enough for her. How can she be so dazzling and beautiful?

Even now the effects of her standing on stage, had yet to leave him. He was hard thinking of the way the dress exposed her shoulders and the parts he liked about her body- Toh shakes his head.

They were currently having the after party at a izakaya. As the two who made the show successful, they ended up being ambushed and sat on different ends of the table. Even while he was talking to others, he kept his gaze on her.

Sumire is certainly improving being around people. But, he knew there were still occasions where she would feel very uncomfortable. He has been watching her all night long, so he knew when she stood up to leave.

He knew that she had been gone far too long, and set out to find her.

Toh found Sumire crouched in one of the bathroom stalls barfing in the toilet seat. For a moment he freezes before rushing over. It's not his first time seeing her throw up. But, he should have noticed sooner. He should have insisted that they sat next to each other.

"Are you okay beautiful?" Toh asked.

"Mmmm, just give me a minute."

"You did so well. I'm really thankful."

Sumire gave him a weak smile. She was doing so well, he only noticed something was wrong afterwards. However, before he could express those thoughts. He got caught up in that crowd of people.

After she finished puking, Toh scooped her up in his arms. "Let me take you home."

"What about the party?" Sumire asked worriedly.

"I already said we would leave early."

He already asked Koichi to grab their belongings and dump it in the car.

"When you say home where are you taking me?"

"My place, you promised to stay over didn't you?"

Sumire laughed softly. "Is this an excuse to get me in your bed again?"

Toh's lips curved to a smile. "I don't think I need an excuse for you to be in my sheets."

They both know he is right. Ever since they returned from their trip, they have done it more often. Gradually becoming more and more comfortable with each others bodies.

Still, she isn't doing this because of love. Toh knew it was only his selfishness that allowed anything physical to happen between them. He shakes the thought out of his mind and kissed her lightly.

"Congratulations, you really are my muse."

….....

At his home.

Toh was exiting the bathroom when he found Sumire staring at the space on the trophy shelf. "I can't believe you even prepared to win."

"Who else would?" Toh raised his eyebrow at her comment.

Of course he was confident. He may have had some doubts before he met her. But, after he met her and called her his muse. Whatever little doubt he had vanished immediately.

"I don't know but the one that came in second place made a really pretty dress."

Toh rolled his eyes. "The designer hates my guts. That's why he was trying to make a move on you after the show."

Sumire giggled. "I didn't think you were watching."

"You have no idea, but I'm always staring at you."

Especially recently, she has become prettier and prettier. More guys are stopping to look at her. It's truly a difficult time for him. Toh pushes her down onto the bed, and starts to undress her. It is only when he is prying her skirt away when Sumire exclaimed.

"Wait, why are you undressing me?"

"I thought you said you'd reward me after the show and finish what we were doing earlier."

"I did say we would finish, but I meant kissing and you did plenty of that before the after party started."

Right, he was so irritated after seeing her with that jerk.

"You don't want to tonight?" Toh asked.

"It's not that I don't want to, but I'm exhausted." Sumire paused. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow you're going back to school, and you'll be busy doing makeup exams."

With the show preparations, he submitted a leave of absence on Sumire's behalf. But it just happened to be exam season.

"Ah, I'll be fine." Sumire reassured him.

Right, she probably will be. She is a secret genius. Normal people would have a hard time catching up after a two week break. But, Sumire is different. Sometimes he thinks it's a waste that she is hiding her talents. However, he also understood what is more important to her.

If she truly shows her real academic ability. The teachers and others around her will certainly pressure her to pursue a more academic path and to toss away her dreams in the entertainment industry. While Sumire is not the type of person to submit to others demand, he understood that the girl was easily pressured.

With her grades being average, she can pursue her career freely without a care in the world.

Sumire extended her hand out and played with his hair. "Toh, I don't mind you know. If you want to do that more."

"You don't?"

"I don't, uh." Sumire laughed awkwardly. "It's nice."

Toh raised his eyebrow. "Just nice?"

Sumire's face turned red and he chuckled, as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Before tucking her into a blanket, covering her bare skin.

She tilted her head. "You really don't want to--?"

"There are other things I can do." Toh said with a grin. "Let's start with these lips of yours."

*UNEDITED*