It felt wrong

Atushi didn't expect to see her. He had given up on seeing her after her attempts to avoid him.

So when he finds her lip-locking with someone in the park, he immediately freezes. He didn't know what shocked him, seeing Sumire kiss someone or seeing how that guy looked at her.

"Toh, e--enough." Sumire stammered.

The Toh guy draws back. "Too much for you, my love?"

Sumire nodded. "L--later, we can continue."

"That's a good plan." He trails off. "Should I use my tongue more next time?"

"Do whatever you want. Just don't talk about this now."

Toh chuckled. "I apologize for embarrassing you. Let's go?"

Atushi was frozen in that spot for a long time. Even after the two left, he couldn't bring himself to move.

So she does have a boyfriend now. Then, does it matter if he apologizes for what happened before? Do his own feelings even matter? It's not like she would be happy to hear them now. Sighing, he pulls out his phone and stops at a particular number.

He shakes his head. Arashi will be coming soon. There is no need to be hasty.

..

Friday came along before he knew it. Atushi kept cursing and sighing all morning, so much for being able to talk to her. It's depressing since he has had so many opportunities to do so.

He heard about him and saw Tsueno briefly in middle school, but they had never actually met until now.

"Ki!" Mamoru said happily.

"You're still feverish! You need to go to the infirmary." Sumire lectured.

"I'm fine. Besides, it's lunch, and I'm hungry."

"Take this." Sumire passed him a small lunch box.

"What about you?" Mamoru asked.

"I'm fine. Toh made me something earlier."

"Then, I'll take this. Thank you, Ki."

These two have an odd relationship. Tsueno was the only one who could be considered Sumire's friend in the first year of middle school—the only one who could truly get close to her.

Sumire notices him staring. "Are you coming too?"

"Huh?"

"Everyone is eating lunch in the courtyard. I'd like to know if you'd be joining us.

Atushi dumbly followed them, not understanding why she invited him to join. He followed them into the courtyard.

A group of people were already there, the nanairo feather guys alongside Momoi Futaba. The girl glanced over and gave him an acknowledgment glance. Ever since that day out in the fields, the girl has greeted him whenever they see each other. Of course, this has earned the attention of many people.

"So, she invited you too?" Masato spoke up.

"It seems so."

"Listen, Hamano-san. I don't think Sumire hates you. But it will take a while before she properly accepts you back into her life. Do you understand why?"

"Because I broke her heart?"

"There is that, but surely you understand there is something more. What hurt her more than anything was you broke her trust and made her feel unloved and unwanted. She was willing to give you her heart, even though she couldn't tell you her feelings. Had you given her a chance, she would have fallen for you eventually."

Atushi doesn't say anything to that.

"But I do understand that most people would decline and not wait. Most dislike the idea of an uncertain future. Moreover, we are still young. Most people our age do not have enough patience."

"That's not-" Atushi wanted to refute Masato's words, but he knew he couldn't do so. Because, Masato is saying the truth isn't he?

Although he had fallen for Sumire, he understood that they could never be together. He could never get a proper read on her feelings, and gradually he became increasingly anxious. Before he knew it, he squashed his own feelings and didn't give her a chance to say hers.

Did he regret it? Of course, he did, and he regretted it immediately. But what could he do? His own uncertainties aside, he understood his parent's expectations. Sumire would not fit in with his family and the upper elite society. She would feel suffocated.

"Masato, that's enough. Let me take over." Another voice said.

Atushi glanced up and saw Tsueno Mamoru. Masato sighed deeply.

"Busybody."

Mamoru grinned. "I could say the same to you."

Masato shakes his head and patted his shoulder as he walked away.

"Mind if I sit here?" Mamoru pointed to the spot Masato just sat in. He shakes his head.

"So, although we went to the same middle school, I didn't speak to you much, did I?"

"I did transfer quickly."

He switched to another middle school in his second year. It's normal that they didn't get a chance to speak. Tsueno Mamoru was often absent from his classes too, and the times Atushi did see him was after school. He would walk back with Sumire without fail.

"So," Mamoru looked towards Sumire. "-just recently, I confessed to her."

Atushi blinked, startled at those words. Based on how dedicated Tsueno was walking her home before, he did figure that there was something between them. But, Atushi recalled the image of Sumire with that other man. If so, why aren't they dating?

"Did you get rejected?" Atushi asked.

Mamoru shakes his head. "Not exactly. But she didn't say yes either."

Ah, just when he thought she had changed. Once again, here she is, giving people unanswered questions.

"And you're okay with that? You must be saying this to me because you knew what happened."

That almost confession, his cold words, how he treated her afterward, and her pained gaze. The main reason why he went abroad was so he could escape, escape from this place that reminded him of her. He wanted to escape the reality of the biggest mistake he had ever made.

"I am okay, as long as she is happy."

Atushi truly felt envious of Tsueno Mamoru right then. Anybody could say these words, and yet he sounds genuine.

"In the first place, I never intended to confess to her. However, I do think this is the right moment to do so."

"The right moment?"

Mamoru nodded. "Over Christmas, she suffered quite the heartbreak. She had been dating someone for a good year. I'm not saying I confessed to take advantage of the situation, but I didn't want her to give up on love."

Atushi felt a headache coming on.

"The other day at the park, I saw her with a guy, and they were."

At those words, Mamoru's sweat fell. "Uh, right. They started dating not too long ago."

"But didn't you just say she had a bad breakup?"

"It was with a different guy," Mamoru said awkwardly.

But it has only been two months. Atushi didn't know how to feel about this. It felt wrong, it felt like she was trying to avoid something