You Play A Lot!

🥀Happy Reading🌹

"The food is almost ready, how are you feeling right now? I have asked them to make you something simple to help you with your digestion so then you can sleep peacefully."

Why is he acting all this caring all of a sudden? I thought he was just supposed to give me a humble time not over humble. I don't want to tell him that I feel okay and I can do a lot of things. That will be a lie because I can't do anything right now. It's either I am left and I will cry if someone doesn't take good care of me, they can't leave me here all alone.

I nod at him as he places me on the bed. He is not shy to do anything for me. I know it's hard for some people to be calm in front of a woman and do everything but he is not. He helps me out with my briefs they are not mine, instead, they are his, white boxers and a big t-shirt. I don't know how to feel but my mind is registering that I used to wear his clothes but the memories seem far away. 

After settling me in bed, he tried to turn on the television so that we can watch something but I don't want to see the screen, my head will start going fuzzy and maybe I might die because of its light.

What if you check on the food, I want to take something and I feel like I am going to die if I don't take something in my belly at this time.

He smiles and pecks me on the cheeks. I need to figure out how to remember things, what we used to do. This will make things easier. I am fighting a lot of things. I had not remembered that I used to wear his clothes until this time. The only thing I can remember, he was my first. Maybe slowly, everything will come back. I don't need to force them to come out.

I don't know what will entertain me, but I feel like books are the main things that can do that job. At the same time, I don't think so because I hate bright light, but books are not as bright as Television. 

Maybe I will ask him to get me some books to help me stay calm. The room is too strange for me. If I was his first person then I bet I should remember the bed and the way it was. But looking around me. The closet seems to be far away from me. The bathroom looks some meters away and the bed is occupying three-quarters of the room. This can hold almost ten people and some more kids if I think.

I hear the door open and turn my gaze back to it. It's Jake, he has food on the tray. I smile because I have been wanting to eat something.  He places the tray on the bed and asks me to choose anything that I want to eat. 

There is a steak, vegetables soup and rice.  I think Rice and steak will be my lucky charm today, for the soup will come later. He obeys my wishes and takes the food to the small kitchenette like in the room. Do we have a kitchen in the bedroom or I am just dreaming?  Okay, I will do the little I can remember. For now, let's be great for the little things that we have. 

Why am I the only one eating here? I thought we are eating together, plus you said, you will allow me to eat from your plate.

I look at him acting all shocked. Yes, I was listening to his promises while begins me to open my eyes, he needs to fulfill the promises that he had promised me.

Okay, we can share my spoon and you will get yours later. Right now, I don't want to eat this alone because it's too much actually.

"You need more strength, to build the worn-out tissues. Eat now, I will just eat a little plus you have vegetables there they will help your health, okay?"

Ooh, he knows that I need a balanced diet, not bad for a boyfriend. He feeds me then, he takes a bite here and there. I watch him carefully I hate to see his grown beards and the way his Adam apple is moving up and down. Why is this all of a sudden weird, I am not supposed to be shy looking at him but at the same time I feel weird, I feel some tingling in my thighs, fuck, this is going the wrong direction. 

Please, don't embarrass me, we are not going to climb him right now, I need to gather my memories and I can't gather my memories with my wild thoughts running all over the place like a maniac. Okay, let's wait and see. 

Okay, calm down, breathe in and out then looks at your plate, ok, the plate that both of you are sharing.

"Are you okay? I can get you water or anything, just say it. Are you thirsty?"

I wish she was talking about a different kind of 'thirst' I swear I would be here trying to act all weird. I quickly shook my head at him, it's not that. 

Why can't you shave your beards, you look like homoerectus right now.

He quickly feels his beard and gently pulls them down while messaging them.

"The barber in charge has been sick and I can't get another person to do it better than she used to be. Do you think I can get her to shave my beards again?"

Wait, 'she?' what am I missing here? Wait did I help to shave them, this is making me cry, I hate crying, I don't know why I am doing this. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do anything, bad hun, it's only that you are the one who knew how to do it. I can ask a babber to do it, though, I don't love them doing it."

I will take a look at them when I am done and after I take a little rest, that is if you are not going anywhere. 

We had a deal. He forced me to eat everything on my plate and didn't leave even a single thing. I was really hungry and the fluids being given in the hospital were not enough to go feed me and make me full. 

"You know you can watch some Korean drama, it will help you remember something, I don't want you to feel pressured but I think it's a nice way to do it."

Maybe this is true,  he switches on the television as he places the plates away. I don't want to start without him, I pause and wait for him to finish what he is doing. 

Coming back, he gets inside the covers with me. Looks like he took a quick shower, his cologne is hitting my nostrils and I can't help but breathe in his air. He holds me gently while I lean on his chest. The chest is so ticklish with the little hair on them. 

The movie is entertaining,  looks like we loved watching movies but that memory is hidden because I can only see the bits of them, I can see anything that I did recently. It seems like I don't have any recent activity with him. I know it has been three months but even that won't be a reason why our memories seem to be in a loop. I feel like this happened some ages ago and is not recent. 

Okay, let us hold on there, we don't need to judge. I can't help but close my eyes within minutes after we started watching. 

"Dee, wake up, Wake up, you can't this on me, you can't do this on me!"

Flashback. 

I can hear many voices around me again, the voices that are asking me to wake up. I can feel various voices in my head.  I hear someone calling for an ambulance. I can't feel my throat, it seems the capsule that I swallowed is taking the effect, but why would they hurt this much? I thought the instruction was, that they can't hurt even a little. Trust me they hurt like a bitch and I can't help it.  I can hear numerous footsteps, the wailing of the sirens approaching and I can hear the same footsteps jumping all over the place.  I hear things being pressed in my body but my body can't take it anymore, it doesn't want me resurrected at this point.  The second attempt drive my brain into a frenzy. 

This time round I am in the basement.  someone is holding me, I can't feel my head but I can see some drips of blood and someone is holding a towel on my head. It's Pete, he is holding a white towel over my head. I am hearing someone shout. I can't feel my head because it's heavy. Claire, what is she doing right now trying to shout?

"You couldn't close your legs even for a second before going ahead trying to slide them for everyone else?"

What have I done now, I can see Dominic trying to restrain her, but she jumps in front of me and beats me again. Why would Claire beat me at this point? I thought I was his favorite little sister. And why is Dominic frustrated like this? Two blows and I can't see, wait, there is another couple in front of me. 

Are that Jake and Fern? Why, why are they together? Did they use to date before all this? I can't have a grasp of this, there is no way Jake and Fern dated, maybe  I am just dreaming and nothing is right. I need to calm down a bit to make sure that I am not messing anything up.

Maybe I need to look again to be sure that, it is not Jake or Fern and just another couple. But they move close to me and Fern is busy smiling and laughing sarcastically. Pete is holding me in place. I can't feel my head and all that is there is a big patch of hair that has been pulled out and my head is painful. 

I don't know if this is true but I feel like I have been having weird and wrong thoughts  Maybe Jake was not the man,  maybe they used to be in a relationship and I was the obstacle. This is too much. I need to know whether all this is true or just a bad thought.

           "Dee, wake up, wake up, it's just a dream!"

I am jolted from my sleep and Jake is holding me tightly, I quickly jump from his embrace and sit on the other side of the bed. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I don't know if I need to trust him or if I am a fool here to think that he loved me but the truth is that, we are not lovers, instead we are big enemies in this world. I mean who is this man beside me? Does he love me? What about Claire, what did I do to her to make her beat me up like that? Is that why I shaved my hair? 

          "Are you alright? What was your dream all about?"

I know I can't hide this, I need to know the truth from him, the truth which I am going to get forcefully from him.

About you and Fern laughing sarcastically at me while Claire was pulling my hair as if I am some maniac. What did I do so bad to go through all that? What did I possibly do wrong? To have you laugh at me with Fern by your side and Claire bitting me up to have me shave my head? I seriously don't know what to believe anymore. This room seems strange to me, as much as I can remember some of the things that happened, I seriously don't remember this house here.

I watch as his brows knit together while they are raising and I know that it was true, this wasn't the house. Plus why would we have such a big house?

"Dee, I can explain everything, but you need to get some rest first. You can't be thinking about that, it will give you a heart attack again and the doctor said it's not good for you."

Oh, so this was him trying to act like the gentleman he is? I don't see any good thing in him anymore, I need the truth and not him beating around the bush. I can be stupid but I am not this stupid anymore. 

"We fought sometimes back, Dee, and things were not that good between us. We were torn between jealousy and love. We both made some drastic decisions and now things are not going okay as we thought."

That doesn't seem pretty convincing to me. It doesn't answer why he would be laughing at me with Fern by his side.  At the same time, it doesn't answer my questions as to why I shaved my hair and why I can't remember the recent activities. 

Take me through the events of the day before I went into a comma and left this earth.

He cleared his throat before looking at me, I was seriously looking for answers and I am not taking, 'no' for an answer. I.need to know everything. 

"I need you closer, I need to see your expression before I say anything Dee, I know I was the bad guys but please move closer, will you?"

Wow, how pretty to convince me to move closer to him. Maybe that will be a good opportunity to smack his face when I hear about all the problems that I went through.

He grabbed my hands and gently caressed them. His eyes are fragile at this point, they are not the dark and intimidating type.

"It was during the debate day and you and Fern were supposed to have the same forum."

His explanation helped me to out everything that I was distorted in my mind. That explained why I have been seeing people shouting and throwing things all over my head, why I removed my heels quickly and rushed out of the hall, that explains why I couldn't feel my neck after I took those pills. 

How stupid of me? It didn't need to happen like this, I was supposed to be a good person, I was supposed to be strong. Maybe I fought too hard and didn't want anyone showing sympathy anymore. Maybe that was good for the world.

"You don't need to cry Dee, it's all over now, you can start we start all over again. I mean you are good at business and convincing people unlike my harsh and bad temper when talking to someone who is acting like an asshole. I hope you remember you have a business, right?

I can't forget about my business even for once, I need to see my assistant, Dan, I know he will be having something for me. I lay in bed Jake follows me around,  I don't want him, but I need to think through it, I am not going to fall victim to his betrayal again.

So are you still seeing her? I mean you guys were lovers and I was the bad guy here.

"Hun, I love you, I might have been stupid but I want to change for you. I had my anger leading me, my jealousy leading me but I didn't know that you were the only person constant in my life. You are a  girl,  a man would pray for. I am sorry I hurt you, I won't do that again, please, if you would forgive me."

You play a lot, to think that I will become the second ball you play with after the main ball has been thrown out of the field. Maybe there was a time I needed you so bad, you were one of the people whom I could share my space with, but I don't think so. I think I will call my secretary and have him prepare me a place to sleep while I get better. Thank you for your hospitality.