Chapter 37

"I need Hermione," Severus sighed as he paced the floors of his sitting room.

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned back against the settee. "Not this again."

Severus stepped in his tracks and turned to Harry.

"Did I make you jealous again? It was unintentional."

Harry laughed derisively. "No, not jealous. We've been in a real relationship for nearly a week now. We haven't spent a single night together- well, except that one after I set your room on fire, but that doesn't count! Anyways, it's late. I've been sitting here for an hour watching you walk back and forth." Harry pushed himself to stand and crossed the room to step into Severus's path. He grabbed his hands.

Harry tilted his head to look over his glasses into Severus's eyes. "I'm going to go home now. Try to get some rest."

His brow furrowed. "You said you wanted to sleep here."

"I did. I do! I have to be awake early to open the shop. And it doesn't look like you'll be done here any time soon."

"I've upset you." Severus was clearly nervous and concerned, but he was frantic as well. Harry knew his brain was firing idea after idea around in his head about his problem with the wild magic. He also knew that when Severus was like this, there was nothing he could do to calm him.

Harry felt broken. He was something for Severus to fix. He knew he had a problem, but he always had a problem. There would always be problems. He just wanted Severus to be with him in the moment.

"No," Harry said calmly. "I need sleep."

"Don't..." Severus sighed. "Don't withhold your thoughts from me. I see that I've upset you somehow. You're doing us both a disservice by not being honest about what I've done."

Harry's eyes fell to Severus's hands in his own. He was right. He needed to be honest.

"I do want to get this under control. But both times that I've tried this with you... you spend all your time trying to fix me instead of getting to know me."

"I do know you, Harry."

Harry nodded and smiled sadly. He kissed Severus's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Harry didn't wait for an answer before he floo'd himself back to number 12 Grimmauld.

He loved Severus. And he knew Severus showed his affection through problem solving. But it wasn't the problem solving that Harry needed. At the safehouse and bored? Ask Albus for books and whiskey rather than offer conversation. Scared of a relationship? Push Harry away. Harry has uncontrollable magic? Ask Hermione for help.

It always felt that Severus ran away from him rather than to him. Harry's instinct was to give Severus space to figure this out on his own, but it had been years and he still just didn't quite get it. He'd have to talk to him, but not tonight. His genius mind was too far gone for Harry to reach him for the evening.

Remus and Sirius had obviously retired for the evening. Harry took a book from the coffee table, stretched out along the sofa and began to read. His eyes grew weary, his eyelids heavy. Just this last chapter... just one more page... and Harry was asleep.

His sleep was deep, and peaceful. But all too short. His dream began to dissipate as he felt something moving gently across his hairline. Then his cheekbone. Harry moved his hand as if to make the sensation stop. But it continued. He yawned and began to blink his eyes open. His eyes struggled to adjust, but soon they found Severus hovering over him. His hair was tucked behind his ears, a kind grin played on his lips.

Harry realized Severus was on his knees beside him, reminding him of the night he'd turned Harry's bracelet to a ring.

"Hello," Severus whispered.

"Hi," Harry offered in a raspy voice.

"Look," Severus continued in a lowered volume. "You don't need to be fixed. But anything that plagues you, I want to fix it. It's the only way I know to show you how I feel. I can try to work on that. I want to make you happy."

Harry blinked slowly once more, unsure if he was still dreaming. He determined he was definitely awake, and that was definitely Severus leaning over him in the wee hours of the morning.

"Okay," was all Harry could muster. He was exhausted.

"That's it, correct? Why you left tonight?"

Harry nodded minutely. His eyes began to drift closed again. "What time is it?"

"Around six. Sun should be up soon."

"Wha- why? You here? Were you," he yawned involuntarily. "Up all night?"

Severus chuckled. "I'm sorry I woke you. I spent some time with Hermione in the library this evening, but I wanted your face to be the last one I see before I go to sleep."

Harry's eyes were closed. He was fighting hard against sleep, but he smiled in acknowledgement of Severus's romantic words. He loved Severus. He would always love him.

He felt Severus kiss his lips. Too late he moved to return the kiss. Severus noticed and chuckled. He kissed Harry again, and Harry kissed him in return. But when Severus pulled away this time, he hovered over Harry closely. Harry lifted his head less than a hair's breadth to kiss Severus again. Severus was his now. His to kiss how and when he wanted. And he belonged to Severus in return. This kiss turned quickly from chaste, to sweet, to urgent. Harry's eyes opened finally. Sleep was now abandoned. His cock had awoken as well. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck. They kissed one another deeply, with need and passion. Harry turned his body as they kissed. He found himself sitting, his feet on the floor. Severus kneeled between Harry's legs, his hands kneading into Harry's arse cheeks, pulling his hips against himself.

Their cocks met through their clothing, grinding slowly but with force and desire. Harry broke away, panting. His love moved to nibble and suck at his neck. Harry moaned. Severus's ministrations could make him come right now. Before Harry could wrap his mind around the idea of slowing down, Severus began to work away Harry's clothes, beginning with his belt.

Severus licked at the hollow of Harry's neck.

"Wait, Wait!" Harry breathed. "Remus... and... up... they're upstairs."

Severus growled excitedly. He pulled Harry's knees closer to him, forcing him to wrap his legs around his slender waist. He held onto Harry's arse and lifted him effortlessly. Harry gasped. It'd been some time since he'd been lifted or carried. Severus returned his mouth to Harry's even as he carried him through the dark sitting room.

Severus's thigh caught the edge of the bookshelf, causing the back of it to slam heavily against the wall. The books rattled loudly. He used Harry's back to push the kitchen door open. Harry's head hit first. It didn't hurt, but a thud reverberated through the house.

"Shit. Sorry," Severus whispered against his lips. Harry giggled.

Severus set Harry onto the kitchen counter. They continued to move their clothed cocks against the other. Severus pulled Harry's jumper and t-shirt together up over Harry's head. They caught the edges of Harry's glasses. They clattered to the floor. Harry unbuttoned the top of Severus's robes as the older man kissed along his chest. He'd finally unbuttoned enough and he pushed the robe down Severus's shoulders and it fell to the ground. Severus stepped out of it then toed off his boots. Harry had removed his own earlier in the night. He moved his hands down to begin relieving his love of trousers. His hand immediately, albeit accidentally, grasped his cock. He felt his face become warm with embarrassment. Which was absurd, given their current activity and relationship status. But Harry didn't remove his hand. He pressed and rubbed his palm against Severus's member.

"You'd better stop. I wouldn't want this to end too soon."

Harry obeyed and instead moved his hand to push down Severus's trousers and underwear. Harry leaned back enough that Severus could pull his trousers off and down to his ankles. Harry kicked them off. Both men were now fully disrobed. Harry's bare arse splayed over his godfather's kitchen counter, with his lover stood between his legs. It was too dark to see much in the kitchen, but Harry felt the other mans cock against his thigh. He wrapped his hand around it and both men gasped at the contact. Harry'd not touched another man in this way before. His hard, aching prick twitched violently. The older man's member lay heavy in his palm. He felt that it was thick, and a quite large vein ran down the side of the shaft and towards the swollen, and leaking, head. Harry stroked it gently.

"Fuck, Harry."

Harry smiled into the darkness. "What... er, what should I do now?"

Severus pulled himself gently from Harry's grasp. His knees knocked against the cabinet doors beneath Harry as he leaned forward. Harry felt the black hair fall against his abdomen. Quickly his own cock was enveloped in Severus's expert mouth. Harry gasped. His head fell backwards, slamming against the cabinet behind his head. He let out a low, primal growl.

"Severus! Fuck!" Harry felt the head of his dick push through the narrow opening to Severus's throat. Still the man continued to suck. He lifted his head slowly, sucking and swirling his tongue around Harry's shaft. When his lips met the sensitive underside of the head of his dick, Severus moved his head back down and continued to take Harry down his throat. Harry yelped. "Okay! Okay, you'll make me-!"

Harry fell from Severus's mouth with a dull pop. The older man chuckled seductively before capturing Harry's mouth once more. Severus's hands moved along his inner thigh. He felt goose skin rise along his entire body at Severus's teasing touches. His right index finger teased along Harry's balls, then back to the the crack of his arse.

Harry jumped a bit, startled by the touch. Severus withdrew his hand.

"Do you prefer to top?" Severus whispered, as if it were a normal question one could ask in polite conversation.

Harry shrugged before remembering Severus likely couldn't see the gesture.

"I don't know."

"Either way is fine," Severus assured.

"Severus. I don't know."

Harry was panting, and his heartbeat pulsed through his body powerfully. Severus kissed along Harry's collar bone. "What's your preference?" He asked again between kisses.

"I don't have one. I haven't done either."

Finally Severus removed his mouth from Harry's chest.

"You've never...?"

Thankfully, Severus didn't seem disgusted. Which is what Harry had feared. "Do you still want me?"

"It doesn't matter to me if you've had none or a thousand lovers. But tell me that you're positive you wish me to be your first."

"It's what I've wanted for years." Harry doubted he'd ever felt true desire towards anyone other than Severus. Yes, he was sure. Severus would be his first. And his only.

Severus's mouth attacked Harry's in a bruising kiss, teeth gnashing, lip splitting. He pulled Harry close to him with one arm, and adjusted the tilt of his bottom with the other. Harry leaned back a bit. Severus returned his finger to Harry's bottom, quickly finding the tight puckered skin. His finger moved over the hole effortlessly, without friction.

Severus pulled his mouth away. He relaxed his forehead against Harry's. Both men were panting.

"You already lubed yourself for me," Severus purred, obviously thrilled.

"Wild magic," Harry explained. He took a deep shaky breath.

His lover pushed his long finger inside of him. He allowed Harry to become comfortable before adding a second, then a third.

The sensation of sharing something so intimate, being touched somewhere that'd never been touched by another; was thrilling to Harry. His heart raced. His skin felt cold where the sweat began to evaporate from his skin.

He pushed down against Severus's hand again and again. The soreness was quickly replaced by tantalizing pleasure. Harry wanted more and he let it be known.

"Fuck me! Severus, now! I want you!"

Severus's sharp teeth pressed into Harry's shoulder as he pushed forward slowly into Harry's opening. Once he'd adjusted, Severus began to thrust into Harry. His knees slammed into the cabinet doors with each thrust, beating out a quick but steady rhythm. The sensation was a dull ache that slowly began to ease. He'd never felt so full before, and he found that he loved the feeling.

Harry's head fell back. He screamed and moaned in ecstasy. His lover's tongue and teeth covered his upper torso with affection. Harry squeezed his eyes closed. He saw fireworks behind his eyelids with each powerful knock against his prostate.

Severus's arm snaked up Harry's back. He tangled his long fingers into Harry's hair. He held him against him. They were chest to chest, Harry's legs around Severus's waist, with his cock buried deep in Harry's arse.

The pleasure was beginning to overtake him.

"Severus! Fuck! I'm... I'm going to..."

Severus's left hand took Harry's cock in a tight grip and pumped his cock in motion with his own thrusts.

"Yesss. That's it, my love. Come for me. Come for me, Harry."

And Harry did, spurting pearly, warm come across Severus's chest.

"Harry!" Severus called out. He thrust one last time into Harry, filling him with his own come.

The two men collapsed against one another, sweaty, panting.

Severus began to chuckle between laboured breaths. "I love you."

Harry eyes stung. Fuck, he didn't want to cry.

"I love you, too."

Severus moved silently to help Harry down from the counter, then helped him locate his clothes.

Harry nearly cast a cleansing spell over himself, but found that he rather liked the feeling of Severus's ejaculate leaking from him.

Severus helped Harry pull his t-shirt back on. He kissed his cheek.

"Harry? You're crying..."

"No, I-" Harry chuckled awkwardly. "I'm happy. I promise."

"I only hope that I made it pleasurable for you."

Harry didn't feel particularly different, the way he expected he would. The only difference, other than an aching bum, was how connected he felt to Severus now. Like they'd overcome the final barrier to finding a blissful future together.

"You have made everything worth it. Years ago, I was content to let life slip away from me. It seemed easier. But then you changed everything. I fought. I fought for you, Severus. Even after we spent two years apart- you were worth it. You were worth the wait, the fighting, everything. I finally have you now. It was all worth it."

Severus wrapped Harry in a tight embrace. Harry began to sob freely into his scarred shoulder.

"I have you," Harry choked out. "I have you now. I'll never let you go!"

He couldn't quite explain the sudden overwhelming emotion. He suspected it might be one side effect of losing one's virginity, but he knew it was more than that.

"You have me, Harry. Always. And I have you."

"Always," Harry agreed.