Chapter 2

"I don't like how he stares at you," Ron said suddenly, slamming down his cup of pumpkin juice, causing it to splatter Hermione. She huffed and cast a drying spell.

"Hm?" Harry swirled his fork through his plate of breakfast absentmindedly. Breakfast had come upon him all too soon. He was deathly tired. For the first time since seventh year began, Harry had had restful sleep, just not nearly enough of it.

"Him," Ron whispered across the table. "Snape."

Harry shrugged, but he looked sideways up to the staff table to see that Severus was, indeed, watching him intensely. He met the professor's gaze and held the eye contact. The older man's face was impassive. He lifted a cup of coffee to his thin lips, but still held Harry's eyes with his own.

Harry turned back to his friends.

"He's been watching Harry for years," Hermione said factually as she turned a page of her book.

"What?" Ron and Harry said in unison, both turning towards her.

"What? You've never noticed? This has been going on since first year."

"Yeah, well, probably just because he's bloody Snape and doesn't trust Harry at all. He's always waiting for Harry to fuck up somehow so that he can be the one to punish him. He gets off on it, I'm tellin' ya."

"No," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I don't think that's it. I think he cares for you, Harry. He wants to keep you safe. We are all old enough and mature enough," she indicated Ron with a pointed look, "to know that he is firmly on our side. He has sacrificed a lot for The Order and that is something to be respected."

Harry looked back to the staff table, but Severus was gone.

Harry took a deep breath, gathered his books, and followed Hermione to History of Magic.

Once alone in the corridor, Hermione turned towards Harry and said quietly, "You were gone longer last night than you usually are."

"Stalking me?" Harry teased.

"I'm taking about a hundred classes, Harry. I wake very early to study. You're usually back before I wake up. Was last night worse than usual?"

"No, erm, actually better."

"Better? How? Get some sleep in a hallway somewhere?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"Er, no. I had some company. It was… nice… I guess."

"Oh?" Hermione seemed almost jealous, perhaps just sad that she wasn't the one Harry felt he could talk to the night before. "Who was it?"

"Snape," Harry whispered, looking at his boots.

Hermione stopped walking and gaped at Harry. She quickly regained her composure and fell back into sync with Harry's steps.

"At least you're well protected when he's around, I suppose."

In the past, Hermione's statement would have been laughable to Harry. But, Harry had grown and could finally see things for what they were, and he agreed with Hermione. He did feel safe with the professor.

Harry doodled waves, swirls, and concentric circles on his parchment. Binns droned on and on, as he always did. It was difficult to pay attention to the babbling ghost under normal circumstances, but in these days it was downright impossible. Harry was destined to die soon anyways. Harry had no use of historical facts or allegories. He was wasting his time here in this class, in this school. He should be training to fight.

Harry'd heard the full prophecy. He knew he'd not live to see the end of the war, but he could kill Voldemort and spare so many lives. The thoughts that haunted him at night began to invade his mind again in the morning hours. Harry thought about how many people were dying and being tortured right now, while Dumbledore was biding his time. The war could be over by now. Harry couldn't change anything. He knew better now than to try to charge off on his own. He knew that his bullheadedness could only cost more lives. He'd just have to wait for instruction on what to do next. It gave Harry time to wrap his head around the fact that he had a very limited number of days left on this earth.

Harry was going to die.

He just wanted to be prepared for it.

Severus stood against the stone wall, beneath Harry's own cloak. He'd been waiting only a few moments. He was not a patient man, but he knew Harry would be appearing momentarily.

He heard the Fat Lady's portrait swing open. Harry emerged, looking left and right. The student decided on left and took only a few steps before Severus reached out to stop him, grabbing his shoulder.

"Potter," Severus greeted. He was surprised that his greeting to Harry's back didn't startle him. Then again, there likely wasn't much that could scare him anymore. Harry turned around calmly and smiled. Severus's heart stopped. It wasn't often that a genuine smile was offered to him in greeting.

"I didn't see you," Harry said, still smiling.

Severus held up Harry's invisibility cloak and smirked.

"I'll give this back to you, trusting you will not use it to find trouble."

"I was wondering if I'd be seeing you again tonight," Harry said, draping the cloak over his arm.

Being a spy, Severus wasn't prone to feelings of guilt over withholding the truth. This was likely the first time in years that he'd felt that guilt.

"The Headmaster requested I walk with you," Severus admitted.

A sad smile pulled at the corners of Harry's lips. "I'm not surprised. That man knows entirely too much about my daily habits. And, although I'm sure he is being manipulative here somehow, I'll accept it. I meant it when I said I enjoyed last night, but if you'd like to return to bed, I understand. I'll tell the old coot off in the morning and all will be well."

Severus wasn't sure how to answer, so he began walking down the darkened corridor. Harry followed after him.

The two walked in silence- winding, ambling paths going nowhere and everywhere. It was almost meditative. Severus could see how soothing this could be to Harry. Severus enjoyed his own nightly strolls, but only because it usually ended with him taking ridiculous amounts of points from Gryffindor, and sometimes Ravenclaw. On his own walks, Severus usually thought of lesson plans, or the latest meeting (whether Order or Death Eater), or which potions were currently held in stasis and needed to be tended to. However, this night, and the one before it- Severus found it difficult to think of anything but the student next to him.

Harry suddenly stopped walking. He raised his hands above his head and stretched his back, then yawned.

"Ready to retire, Mr Potter?"

"No," he said softly and shook his head.

"You seem tired."

He touched Severus's forearm. "Please. No. I need this. Just a bit longer?"

Severus could not help but think Harry looked worse than even Albus did on his worst of days, when the troubles of everything around him were feeling like too much to bear.

The two continued in silence but Severus subtly guided their walk back to Gryffindor tower. Harry stepped towards the entrance to the common room and said the password. As the frame opened for him, he turned back towards Severus.

"Thank you, professor."

"Tomorrow night," Severus confirmed the unasked question.

Harry smiled and disappeared into the common room.

Harry had said nothing during their walk. Severus badly wanted to know what was happening in his mind.

Severus stretched out into his bed. It was only 3 a.m. He fell asleep, vaguely aware that his skin still tingled where Harry had touched his arm.

The next several nights passed in much the same manner. Severus waited for Harry at the entrance to Gryffindor tower and then they just… walked. Usually in silence. Severus wasn't sure what good his presence was doing for his student, but Harry always thanked him at the end, and Severus always promised he'd return the next night.

Harry stretched his arm out to graze his fingers along the exposed rock walls, the candlelight danced along Harry's skin- just enough that Severus could see the marks there on Harry's forearm. Severus stopped dead in his tracks. Was Harry harming himself? Severus grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled it forward to inspect it, causing Harry to nearly collide into Severus.

"What is this?" Severus demanded as he pushed the sleeve up. Looking down, Severus sighed with relief. It was school notes written there, not cuts.

Potter looked down, looking ashamed.

"History of Magic answers for the test I have in the morning. I don't care enough about the class to study, so I wrote the answers there."

Severus nodded and pulled away.

"How many detentions have I earned, then?"

"None," Severus said quietly.

"What? Really? But seeing them just gave you a heart attack."

"I thought they were cuts," Severus said honestly. "I'm relieved that they're not. I don't care that you're going to 'cheat' on your test. I agree there are more important things than a test in History of Magic."

"Cuts? Why would I cut myself?" Potter seemed offended.

"The Headmaster seems to think you're... perhaps suicidal." Severus hadn't clarified with Albus how honest we was supposed to be with Harry, but he had made the decision to avoid lying to him, if at all possible. Severus was not socially inept enough to believe that honesty was a unilateral contract.

The young man stared at Severus. The candles' flickering reflected in Harry's glasses, but Severus could still see enough of his eyes to see that he was hurt by the accusation.

"I am suicidal. Not in the traditional sense, but I am." Harry made unblinking eye contact with Severus. It unnerved him.

"Traditional sense?" He repeated blankly.

"I heard the whole prophecy. Remus and Sirius aren't always great about warding the doors with silencing charms..." Severus remained quiet, waiting patiently for him to finish. "I'm going to die when I kill Voldemort. I know this, and yet I'm willing to do it anyways. I suppose that's a form of suicide, yeah?"

"Is this why you can't sleep at night?"

"Yes. I can't tell my friends. I can't tell anyone. I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll likely never get to fall in love, have children, have a career... I'm not sad or anything. Disappointed, maybe. I'm just ready to end the war to save as many people as I can."

"I think you're wrong."

"No, I heard them talking it's definitely in the proph-"

"-No. No, Potter. I mean I think you could talk to your friends about your concerns. They don't need to know about the prophecy. They've always seemed to be right by your side, you could confide in them."

"I don't want to. I'm trying to… to distance myself from them. When I die, it's going to hurt them. I think it might hurt a little less if I distance myself as much as possible until then. It might be misguided, but I just want to do what's best for them."

And that is when Severus knew. It's when he knew that Harry Potter was not at all who Severus had thought he was. Here, Harry was, staring down his own death and he was more concerned about how his friends would fare when he was gone. It was a selflessness that was likely unmatched by any of his peers.

"Are you positive you're destined to die?" Severus asked hesitantly. Even Severus had not heard of that part of the prophecy.

"Yes," he said. "I'm sure."

Severus grabbed Harry's upper arms and forced him to look into his eyes. "I shall not let you be a martyr; another victim of this war. I will find a way around this."

Something very akin to fury was building inside of him as he searched Harry's eyes. Too many people had been lost already, Harry would not be added to the death toll. Severus swore to himself he'd let himself die before letting Harry reach that same fate.

Harry chuckled bitterly. "Good luck." Harry pulled himself from Severus's grasp and continued making his way back to the dormitory.

Severus didn't sleep that night. He focused on his uneven breathing and pounding heart as he stared into the dark corners of his bedroom.

Early the next morning he burst into Albus's office.

"He's not suicidal, you utter fool." Severus spat and slammed the door closed.

Albus raised his eyebrows in question.

"Those damn dogs allowed him to overhear their conversation about the prophecy. Is it true he is destined to die?"

"Yes," the old man said calmly.

Severus was fuming. "Well, that would be the obvious answer as to why he can't sleep at night."

Albus took a deep breath and sighed. "I was worried he'd hear of it."

"If he is destined to die, why did you tell me you fear he is suicidal? Just another manipulation on your part, I suspect. You didn't insist I become friendly with the boy for his own sake. Be forthright, Albus! I am demanding it."

"Indeed he is destined to die, but at Voldemort's hands. He shall not perish a second before, or I fear Voldemort's desires will unfold upon our world." There was no pain or worry on Albus's face. It was just the planning of a battle, and Albus was their determined general.

"Why not tell him the truth then? He is willing to die for this cause. He is more mature than you give him credit for. A little truth could go a long way. In the meantime, I am done babysitting your pawn. I have better things to do with my evenings."

Severus, too, was a pawn but he withheld his thoughts on that matter. Severus turned on his heel and strode angrily towards his classroom.

He had a keen feeling that his time with Potter had been good for the boy. But Severus knew himself well enough that this... pity... or whatever it was he was feeling towards him, would soon become attachment. He couldn't allow himself to become attached to anyone or anything, especially not a traumatised saviour who was destined to die at the hands of a dark lord.

Severus took more points from Hufflepuff that morning than he had in years.