C21: Lancelot

Evangeline sat on the chair next to the dining table and I looked for a towel in the bathroom. Fortunately, I found one, and I put it on her head, and she wrapped the rest of the towel around her to dry herself up. She was looking at nowhere, no words coming from her mouth. Are women always like this when they're brokenhearted? Maybe it's something that I can never understand.

I looked at the cupboards to find some tea leaves, and I prepared water to make tea. Four minutes later, I poured some tea on a teacup and gave it to Evangeline, which she didn't ignore, but received it with her own hands.

"Thank you," she savored the tea's aroma before drinking, and she put it down after, her teacup half-empty. "You're the person I'm least expecting to see today."

"Why's that?" I asked, pouring myself some tea.

"I wasn't expecting you to come over. Not to mention, finding me under the rain. How did you find me?"

"In case you've forgotten, you cooked some soup, and I saw that it wasn't that hot, and not cold either. My assumption was, if that's the last thing you took care of, that would be around 15-20 minutes ago. The car is there, so you took a walk. I concluded that you shouldn't be that far. Then you're there in the village playground, just as I thought. It's also possible that someone abducted or picked you up, which I thought is extreme, so I dropped the idea."

Her jaw dropped and she covered her mouth upon hearing my detailed explanation. It was a guess, with some supporting facts that led me into a theory. It's not something new to me.

"I can't believe you thought of those things! If I were you, I would've checked the entire house to see if someone's there and call. You have a mind of an investigator! How come you became a chef?"

How can I not know all these things? Breaking the shreds of evidence is something that I always do, and I know that I should consider, like what the police might think of when they see the crime scene. It's my way of protecting myself from being caught, and I never got in trouble because of that. There is a need to know how the enemies think so that I'll win the race.

"It's a skill, perhaps? Now you learned another Lance trivia. Satisfied?"

Eve's facial expression softens as the corner of her lips rose into a smile.

"More than. It's cool to know this side of you," her smile faded and she broke eye contact, which perhaps is the time to focus on the real problem here. "Sorry if I've been troublesome. It's just that, I need some fresh air since whenever I'm in a bad mental and emotional state. Walking helped me to think about things, but rain is something that I wasn't expecting because it's February."

"I'd say the same. I would understand if it rained around June to October. Anyways, what matters now is you're home. Can you promise me that you won't do that again? You'll end up sick."

"I won't. Life … goes on. It's just that … the past keeps on killing me every day, you know? Think about the most important people in your life. Let's say you lost them, because they betrayed you, or they died. You know the story already."

"Sure, I know the story. But saying it like that isn't enough, right? Tell me what you feel. If it'll help, pretend that I'm the one who cheated on you, and pour out everything on me. Slap me if you wish, I don't care. Just say it. Cry, if you want to. I won't judge you."

She paused to gather herself together, thinking of how to express everything … even the harshest words maybe. All I have to do is to stand here.

She left her chair and removed the towel wrapped around her, and walked closer to me. Her eyes are burning with anger, her hands clenched into a fist, yet shaking. Heavy silence lied between us, and I don't know what to feel about this. The only choice that I have is to watch, and pretend to be a statue.

"HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO ME? We've been together since college, you know my entire being – from this face, up to the bottom of my heart, and down to my very soul – I NEVER BETRAYED YOU! What did I ever do for you to do this? Am I not enough? WHAT DID I LACK? After all the things that you've done, why are you still saying that you want us back? You couldn't even tell me the entire truth, NOT UNTIL I GRILLED YOU WITH QUESTIONS," as Eve was only a few inches apart from me, she grabbed me by the collar, but I decided not to respond, though I didn't expect that she'll go this far. Tears began pouring from her eyes – tears full of anger, pain, and hatred.

"The thing I don't understand is WHY. Why did you do it? You know the consequences," she tightened her grip to my collar as she continued, and started shouting at the top of her lungs.

"Didn't you for once considered what I'll feel? Weren't you afraid to lose me? Do you even have any idea how destroyed I am from the outside and the inside? MY HEART WAS SHATTERED INTO PIECES, YOU TRAITOR! It's not because it was simply not taken care of so it shattered, but it felt like it was hammered … by YOU! I feel empty, and every thought of you is tormenting! You have no idea how grateful I am that I have the big opportunity to finally get out of this place because there's no way for our paths to cross!"

She let go of my collar and started beating my chest until I felt her arms becoming softer than normal. "Goodbye, Justin Spencer, and I hope that we'll never see each other EVER again! But I still …" she leaned her head on my chest, her voice softer like a whisper. "I hate myself for still loving you, after everything that I've done. It's all your fault, but it's not like I regret my decisions."

Unaware if it's the best response or not, I wrapped an arm around her back, and held the back of her head, pulling her closer. She cried, even more, when I hugged her. As far as I know, she's the first woman that I hugged like this, because all my life, I've been avoiding people.

She slowly breathed out, and after a couple of seconds, she began speaking again. "And for you, the one who killed Giovanni, how can you possibly be happy seeing innocent blood shed in your hands? Where is his body now? Did you throw him away from where no one can see him? Don't you have a family of your own? Giovanni might be living alone, but he has a family.

I'm one of those. I haven't met him for a couple of months, then there's you, who simply did it like that, leaving no evidence. I wish I can just find you and kill you, but vengeance is not mine, but God's.

What makes me different from you, if I'm going to kill too? I don't want to kill, just like you did. I want to stop being angry and hurt because all I know is … I'm tired."

She just told me what she's supposed to say if she knows that I'm the one who took the life of her beloved cousin. Those words felt like a slap on the face, yet, it's too kind. Her words are not as harsh as those for her ex-boyfriend. Her words, saying that she wanted to kill me, doesn't sound real either. I sense no desire for bloodshed, and knowing who she is so far, she doesn't seem to be the kind who'll enjoy hurting people.

All I know is, at the moment, a woman with a damaged heart and soul is between my arms, a soul asking for help, asking for freedom, and healing. Now I feel more responsible than ever.

"Eve," I spoke, and she pulled away upon hearing her name. "How are you feeling?"

She forced a pained smile and wiped the tears from her eyes with her hands, but didn't answer the question. She opened the fridge and pulled a pitcher of cold water, pouring it into a glass. "Better," she replied, as she drank the entire glass without pause.

"Good. If in case you want to vent again, just tell me."

"For a second, I saw Justin in your face. I'm sorry if I beat your chest and pulled your collar. I wasn't planning that, but I got carried away by my feelings. Thank you, Lance. You have no idea how relieved I am after saying all of those. It means a lot."

"You were scary; you know that? I had no idea that's how cruel you'll be when you're mad. I somehow put myself in that person's shoes, and if I were him, I would really get scared. You're completely a different person when you express your anger. That's another Evangeline trivia that I learned." I'm serious. If I were him, I would feel scared. She turned from an angel to a monster. It is, however, interesting to see this side of her.

"Ah yes, another Evangeline trivia, and another Lance trivia, because you were kind enough to let people vent on you, just like that," Eve said, finally smiling.

"Not really, because you're the first person who did that. I never offered it to others. I just thought that maybe it'll help so I offered it."

"You're a nice person, you know that?"

No. I'm far from worthy to be called that.

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The next day, as the clock strikes at 6 pm, I looked around to see if other employers are around, and when I saw that nobody can hear us, I decided to talk to Megan.

"Hey Meg, when the restaurant closes, I want you to come with me," Megan raised an eyebrow upon hearing my words, hoping to hear the details.

"Where are we going?"

"I can't tell you that yet, but I assure you, it's not a date."

She pouted and rolled her eyes, which I find questionable. "Fine. You sound like you're not taking 'no' for an answer, anyway."

"Just trust me, you'll love it."