Knowing each other

Benson's POV

“Oh really”.she spoke slowly

“Yeah, I don't think I had a girlfriend in high school”. I spoke up, 

“I see”. She stared at me confused, and I knew she wanted to say something to me but held herself.

We sat there, and I noticed she was shivering despite she was putting on a jacket.

I hissed softly and pull off my Jacket and gave it to her

“Have it, am not feeling cold "

She stared at me in disbelief before taking the jacket from me.

“Why does this moment look familiar”. I whispered to myself

She put on the jacket and whisper a soft thank you to me, 

I nod my head and look away 

“So why aren't you married yet “. I did not know when that left my mouth

“I'm so sorry”. I apologize

“It's nothing”. She smiled at me, 

“You were just asking a question "

“But that was wrong “. I replied, 

"Maybe, but it's fine “.she assured me with a smile

“The reason am not married is because I am waiting for someone”. She whispered

“Waiting for someone?”. I asked 

“Yeah”

She took in a deep breath and stared at me 

“He is gone, but I believe he will come back “.she said those words while staring directly into my eyes.

I got confused by her words, was she waiting for the same guy who was dead or what.

“Are you serious”. I asked in shock 

“Yeah”.she whispered

I stared at her with shock, how can a beautiful lady stay unmarried just because she was waiting for a dead man to come back to her, this is ridiculous.

“You can't be serious, how can you be waiting for a dead man “.

She stared at me for a while but did not say a word, 

I hissed in frustration and stared at her 

“You can't be serious with what you said “. I asked, hoping she would tell me she was just joking.

“I'm serious”.she said those words seriously.

I stared at her and noticed how serious and determine she was with what she said.

“You are something else”. I murmured

She smiled at me and look away.

“Heard you weren't doing fine, what was wrong with you”.she asked, 

I hissed and look away.

How do I tell her I've been Having strange dreams and each time I do I have this severe pain in my head 

“Are you okay “.her voice brought me back from my thought

“Yeah, yeah “. I replied quickly

She stared at me for a while before looking away.

A text came on her phone and she texted the person back, I became curious and decided to ask her this question.

“Do you have a boyfriend”. I asked curiously

“No, I told you I was waiting for someone”.she replied quickly

“You can't be serious with what you said "

“Why do you think so “.she asked 

“Because it's insane”. I muttered out 

“There is nothing insane about it “.she said those words in a serious tune before looking away.

I stared at her with shock and my mouth open, she definitely can't be serious.

“Do you have a girlfriend”.she asked while staring at me 

“Jesus Jesse how can you ask such a question when you know am still mourning my wife”. I asked in disbelief, 

She stared at me directly in the eyes like she was trying to peep into my soul.

“Do you blame yourself for Charity's death”.she asked while staring at me.

I hissed and look away, 

“Don't tell me you are blaming yourself for her death “. She asked in shock, 

“What do you know about her death “. I spoke in anger 

“Everyone knew she died in a car accident, which she was the one driving, so how can you blame yourself”.she spoke softly not minding the tune I used on her.

“You Know nothing, you don't know a thing “. I spoke angrily

“What is there to know”.she spoke angrily

I hissed in frustration and stood up from the bench 

“It was my car my fucking car, I should be the one dead and not her “. I spoke in pain, 

"Shit”. Jesse whispered and stood up from the bench 

“How can you blame yourself because it was your car “.she spoke gently

“How can you wish death upon yourself because it was your car, Benson, why?”.

She tried to move close to me,, but I move away.

“ Have you been blaming yourself for her death for the past two years”.she asked with care and tried to touch me, but I move away.

“Stay away from me”. I murmured angrily

Seeing her showing me this care and love melted everything in me and I hated it.

“You have to let go, charity won't be happy that you are blaming yourself for something you have no control over “. She spoke in care.

I hissed and slightly close my eyes in pains and regrets.

Just maybe if I was the one who took the car I would have been able to notice it very early and escape the accident then charity and I would have still been together.

“Benson”. I open my eyes and saw Jesse was now closer to me with her eyes fixed on me.

She put her hand on my shoulder and stared directly into my eyes, 

“You have to stop blaming yourself and let go of everything”.she begged 

I stared at her and didn't like the way my body was reacting to her touch and I need to stop it.

“You should leave “. I spoke in a cold voice

She stared at me for a while before speaking up 

“I will, after I have done this “.

She moves closer to me and slam her lips in mine.

Her lips taste like warm coffee, and I didn't know when I pull her to myself and deepen the kiss.