Lost him

Benson's POV

“Shit “. I kept back my phone

I shouldn't have done such a thing as this, I hissed and stood up from the bed. I took back my phone and saw that she has seen the message, yet she hasn't replied.

I hissed and wanted to send a message telling her it was a mistake, but then I knew she wouldn't believe it.

A new message pop in my phone, 

“I'm in your backyard”.

I hissed in relief and put on a shirt and left my room.

I open the back door and saw Jesse sitting on the bench lost in thought.

“Hey "

She turns around and met eyes with me 

“Hey”. She smiled brightly at me, 

I felt my heart flutter as I walk closer to her.

She moves a bit from the bench, giving me space to sit beside her.

We sat there in awkward silence before she speaks up, 

“I once had a friend who loves snows just as he loves his life “. She picks a snow and smiled at it 

“He will always drag me out to play in the snow with him and I will gladly do despite the cold outside "

She chuckled softly and kept on molding the snow

“We will play on the snow for hours and I will go home falling sick but will never tell him "

“Why, you should have told him "

She giggled softly and stared at me 

“If I let him know that I fall sick after our play in the snow that will be the last time I will ever play on the snow with him, he was just too overprotective, and I didn't want that “.she spoke softly and laugh at what she molded.

“Seems you guys have a good relationship”. I said those words a bit jealous.

I noticed the smile and how happy she was talking about the guy, and then I knew she must have loved him.

“Yeah, a very good relationship”.she spoke up and pick another snow on the floor.

“Then where is he”. I asked out of curiosity

If she so much loves this guy like I assume, then why was she all over me.

“He is gone”. She murmured

I stared at her and saw how sad and heartbroken my question made I feel. I hissed angrily at myself before moving closer to her.

“He is gone, I lost him twelve years ago “.she whispered in tears, 

“I'm so sorry “. I muttered slowly

I moved closer to her but did not know what to do or say, I know how she feels loosing a loved one because I've been there, and it's horrible.

“How did he die”. I asked curiously

She stared at me with wide, I could see shock and surprise written on her face like she wasn't expecting that question from me.

“I'm sorry “. I apologize

She shakes her head and look away 

“Don't worry, I don't want to talk about it “. She whispered

I shake my head and look away.

We sat there in silence watching the snow fall slowly on the floor.

“How did you meet your wife, charity”

She said those words with her gaze away from me.

I hissed softly but did not say a thing

“It's okay if you don't want to say it "

“No that's not it, I'm just giving myself time to process the question”. I replied 

I took in a deep breath before speaking up

“I met charity in my first day at the university, she caught my attention at first sight, and immediately I fell for her “. I smiled when I remembered those memories.

“Charity was the kind and shy type, those were the qualities that drew me to her “.

“That's nice “. Jesse murmured, 

“She was my first lover”. I whispered

“That's not possible”. Jesse spoke angrily

“I don't get you”. I asked confused.

She hissed and chuckled softly and nervously ran her fingers in her hair, 

“What I mean to say is that it can't be possible, you must have loved someone in your high school days or something”.she said those words while staring at me with curiosity.

“High school day ?”. I asked, 

“Yeah, you might have love someone there “.she asked 

I kept quiet and thought for a while, but I couldn't remember anything about my high school days or anyone I was attached to except for the strange dreams I was having.

“No one, charity was my first love, am very sure of it “.