For Lilly's sake

Benson's POV

"Papa". I felt Lilly's hands shaking me.

I groaned in frustration before opening my eyes.

Throughout last night I couldn't get some sleep, and now I was trying to sleep it was already morning.

"Good morning Papa, breakfast is ready and grandma asked me to come wake you up".she spoke in her small tiny voice.

"Thank you princess, I will be there in a minute.

"Okay, papa".she smiled at me before leaving the room.

I hissed in annoyance before getting off from my bed.

I went to the bathroom and wash my face before brushing my teeth.

I left my room and walked to the dinning table.

"Morning Benson". Smith was the first to see me, 

"Morning everyone ". I greeted

"Morning Benson, you look tired, did you get some sleep last night ". Samuel asked while staring at me with curiosity.

"Not really, I was working". I lied, 

How could I tell them I was thinking about Jesse and the guy she was standing with.

"You work this much in holidays like this ?".Smith asked in disbelief

"Of course people still work ". Derick spoke up, 

"That's bad ". Smith replied.

I put my break fast in my plate and started eating slowly, with my thoughts still filled with what happened yesterday.

"Are you okay ". Mrs Sonia asked with a concerned voice.

"Yeah ". I smiled at her and kept on eating.

I stared at everyone in the table and saw how they were happily discussing with each other, and then I wish charity was here, she would have loved the sight of this.

"When do you plan on leaving". Smith was the one who asked those questions to me.

"After Christmas". I said those words and took a sip of my water, 

"After Christmas". Mrs Sonia asked in surprised 

"Yeah". I replied

"But I thought you guys would be spending the new year celebration here ".she asked 

"We would have love to but works and meetings are piling up waiting for me and I can't risk it ". I replied firmly, 

Mrs Sonia hissed softly before speaking up 

"You and I know why you are leaving this Early".she spoke up in annoyance.

The three brothers stared at me with pity and concern, then I knew they did not understand what their mom meant.

"Are you still thinking about her". Smith was the one to speak up, 

I hissed and took a spoon of food in my mouth.

"She was my wife, so it's normal I still think about her". I spoke in irritation.

Everyone stared at me for a while before Samuel clear his throat.

"Mom said she has discussed something with you ". He spoke firmly.

I stared around and saw that Lilly and Mrs Sonia has already left the table, and I was only seated in the table with the brothers.

"Shit". I murmured to myself.

"Why don't you consider the suggestion".he asked while staring at me with curiosity.

I hissed softly and dropped my food, I just lost my appetite.

"I prefer not to talk about this ". I spoke in annoyance.

"You have to talk about this, Benson, you just can't keep doing this to yourself". Derick spoke up, 

I hissed tiredly and ran my fingers in my hair.

"Can you people just leave me alone, do I have to spell it to you guys that I don't want to get married, at least not now" I spoke in anger.

"Listen Benson". Samuel spoke calmly.

"Everyone felt what you felt, we all went through the pain, she was our sister, but then she left Lilly behind, and you have to consider that ".he spoke up

"Don't you dare tell you felt what I felt ". I shouted in anger 

"I lost my love, my wife, and the mother to my child, none of you know how it feels to be in such pains ". I said those words and stood up from the chair 

"Try to understand us, Lilly is a girl ,and just as mother said she would need a mother figure in her life, neither you nor your housekeeper can do that unless you get married ". Smith said those words while staring at me.

I hissed softly and stared at all three of them staring at me with curious eyes.

"I can't, you guys should just stop it ". I spoke coldly.

"You have to ". Samuel spoke angrily.

I stared at him and saw that his expression has changed.

"You have to do it, not for yourself but for Lilly, I can't let her grown up like this ".he spoke in anger.

"I won't ". I spoke angrily, 

"You will Benson, you have to, for Lilly's sake ". Derick spoke firmly.

"This is unbelievable". I murmured in anger.

"You all are all unbelievable ". I spoke furiously.

"Listen, you guys should listen, I'm not getting married to any woman and if I want to get married again, then it's definitely not now because right now, I am mourning my wife .and don't you dare use Lilly as an excuse to say this rubbish to me ". I push the chair away and walked out on them.

I walk back to my room and angrily push the chair away with my leg 

I sat on my bed and couldn't hold the anger boiling in me, 

I thought it was just the mother but here the brothers are also suggesting such rubbish.

I took Charity's picture from the table and stared at it in pains.

"I miss you baby, I fucking miss you “. I muttured out in pain and place the picture on my chest.

If only she was alive,thing would have been easier for I and Lilly.