Milagro Man

It had been only a single day since Dante first woke up in this world, and already he was beginning to see that he should've probably not held back so much when dealing with Akainu.

If he had taken the man out quickly, got him down before he could even spot him or take note of his appearance, then maybe he wouldn't be in the situation he is in now.

He had continued his journey to Water Seven into the day, and all through the night but decided to not fly or run there, and instead chose to enjoy the ride on Cavaliere across the Archipelago, and now it was the next morning after he had caught a bird carrying news with it.

In his hands was the days newspaper, more specifically the newest WANTED poster in today's issue. His own poster, showing a shoddily drawn rendition of himself holding what looked to be the Devil Sword Dante. The problem wasn't the drawing, though, as that was just a generic man with poorly coloured silver hair and a red jacket.

The real issue stemmed from the next few words on the page, 'Red Devil' Dante, WANTED for: The murder of a Celestial Dragon, loitering, resisting arrest, 3 counts of first degree murder.

The price on Dante's head? 855 million Berries. For killing one special man. Then again he also killed a couple others but it was absolutely the World Government giving the Marines a blank cheque to make sure he gets put down, or put in a cell.

In all honesty he's surprised he didn't face much more resistance than the Admiral. He figured that there would at least be contingencies beyond an Admiral so those more powerful than them couldn't just wander around slaughtering world Nobles left right and center.

Considering he is already holding shared first place for strongest entity this side of the universe, there isn't much in this world that really poses a threat, and there isn't much stopping him from going about life however he pleases. Though, it probably isn't good to follow that line of thinking considering that leads to mass murdering genocidal reincarnated people.

In the middle of his musings about the 'Dark Side', so he had dubbed it, and whether he fell into it since he killed in self defence, Dante noticed what seemed to be an elongated, extremely tall human being in all white clothing with a hunched back and odd red mask trying to stab him in the back with... a finger?

Dante, entirely confused with the fact that his biological danger sense recognised the finger as a weapon, dodged at the last second and watched as the person flew past them in slow motion, seemingly catching themself on the air after reaching the end of their dash.

"Listen pal, I get that some people are more... outlandish in their night lives but I don't think giving a poor, unsuspecting man the finger constitutes as your average bedroom play."

The white washed man(?) doesn't respond, instead once more throwing themselves at Dante, kicking the ground hundreds of times over in a single instance to dash behind him, ready to silence Dante.

The only problem with that is the fact that Dante had long since grown sick of this engagement before it even began, so wanting to quickly end any chance at a prolonged fight he waited for Mr White to dash over at him, whispering something like 'Soru' as they did so, and simply Tricked to the side of them, grabbing Mr White by the throat as they careered past him and rammed his Balrog covered fist through their sternum.

After dropping the now dead body to the floor and searching for anything of value, only to come back with quite literally nothing to show for it, Dante simply went back about his journey.

'I guess I should've assumed they'd send assassins. Or at least I think that was an assassin. Nifty trick with the finger, though.' Dante mused, wondering if he could learn how to stab a man with his finger before shelving the idea given his litany of weapons to use instead.

Sighing, Dante continued on the path, once more taking time to admire the scenery of the world he inhabits. At least, he was until he remembered that any time, anywhere Vergil could jump out and try kill him, so he immediately activated his Devil Trigger and flew straight, towards the general direction of Water Seven, figuring that he would find it from the air.

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He did not, instead having wound up staring at what must be the largest boat he had ever laid eyes on. The whole place around him was damp, soggy, and foggy, and he already hated it just being here, the giant sails labelled 'Thriller Bark' didn't help the aesthetic.

He probably should've paid attention to his surroundings while he was flying, but in his defense he was accelerating for barely a second, 'Realistically they need some signs around here. Getting lost more than I thought possible.' Dante decided to live in the moment and just explore the place, to satisfy his childish curiosity.

Dropping down from the skies into a far bigger forest than he initially gave credit, Dante began his casual meander to the lavish palace at the center of the island.

He immediately was thankful he followed his gut and chose to explore the forest because he soon became acquainted with the locals, large groups of poorly stitched together zombies that shamble towards him.

Summoning his Devil Sword with a sigh, Dante simply slashed into the open air, unleashing 3 Drives and an Overdrive alongside them, neatly dicing every last one of them.

Continuing his walk along the dark ass forest, Dante suddenly Tricked to the side, turning frantically and looking in every direction and focusing as much as he can on his vision.

'Oi. I swear that was a ghost there. Not a demon, not anything like that, but a fucking ghost.' Dante had no idea what to do in this situation. Demons can be exterminated with a regular checkup from his best friends Ebony and Ivory, but ghosts? The hell is a Devil Hunter gonna use to kill those?

"Show yourself, Casper! I'm not in the mood to play poltergeist with you right now."

The only response Dante was given was utter silence, only broken by the slight sounds of demented giggling, 'Horohoro? The fuck is that?' he wondered, slowly beginning to make out the feminine tone of the voice as he walked closer to an elaborate garden, slaughtering more and more zombies along the way.

Suddenly pulling an idea out of his ass, Dante focused on the sound, the grating high pitched nature of the voice and summoned the Yamato, cutting into the fabric of reality twice over and opening a portal to where he believed was the closest location to the voice.

However, upon walking through the portal, he immediately considered walking back out. What greeted him was not a terrifying ghost, nor a man eating creature but instead a little girl(?) laughing while clutching her Teddy bear, muttering something along the lines of 'That'll show him.'

"Would this count as breaking and entering if there was no breaking to begin with?" Dante asked, hoping to receive an answer, though he seemed to have gotten the drop on the young woman because the immediate reaction was copious screaming and verbal abuse.

"AHH! CREEP, WEIRDO, PERVERT! WHO SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED IN HERE? GET OUT! OR DIE, THAT WOULD BE NICE TOO! ACTUALLY JUST DIE!" Her verbal onslaught was followed by the Teddy bear moving to attack, and her summoning several ghosts to attack Dante. The man of the hour just sighed once more and prepared himself for the most morally questionable fight of his career.

And so our protagonist commits his second great crime, right behind murder. Invading a child's home. What a real hero.