Occlumency

As the days turned into weeks, while I found my dueling skills improving by leaps and bounds, I hadn't found success in occlumency. I was rapidly coming to the conclusion that merely making my mind blank wasn't going to work.

One evening, in October, I was lounging on my bed, slowly stroking Athena's tiger-striped fur while trying to clear my mind.

At first, I had thought that it was best to meditate in the lotus position, but after the first month with no success, I decided to find a more natural pose. Otherwise, I would end up straining a muscle.

As I laid there, listening to Athena's satisfied purrs, my mind started slowly drifting as one of my oldest and fondest memories began to surface.

Most people would assume that a reincarnated person with memories from his previous life would be born fully aware. That was not my experience. I'm not sure why, as I'm not an expert on reincarnation.

My earliest, clearest memories started when I was between one and two years old. Sometimes I get flashes of earlier times, but they're more like feelings and sensations with no real substance. Like a half-forgotten dream where you remember how the dream made you feel but not what happened. I think it might have something to do with the brain of an infant not being developed enough to support a functioning consciousness, but I can't say for sure.

As I floated in a sea of my fondest memories, a feeling of safety and peace enveloped me. Suddenly I felt something within me shift, it was hard to describe, it was like I discovered a new muscle and upon activating it, I felt a band of energy spring out from the depths of my mind and envelope my head in a cocoon of protection.

Opening my eyes in curiosity, I half-expected to see some visual cue of the magic surrounding my head. Unfortunately, the second I opened my eyes, I lost the state of mind I was in, and the magic winked out of existence.

"Merlin's saggy pants!" I swore in annoyance.

Athena turned her head in displeasure and nudged my hand, wanting me to resume petting her.

"Sorry," I apologized, "I almost had it, I'm sure of it."

Athena's satisfied purring resumed after I started petting her again. I closed my eyes, determined to find the mental state that I previously discovered. However, the more I tried to find the mental clarity that I previously had, the further it slipped away. Finally, I had enough of it, and I decided that I was too frustrated to continue for the night.

Over the next two weeks, I found success a few more times, however holding the correct mental state proved to be enormously difficult. Any distraction caused me to lose it immediately, it was like doing a complex mathematical problem, having a conversation, and writing something down at the same time.

One evening towards the end of October, I was trying to reach the correct state, and for the first time upon opening my eyes, the sensation didn't fade away. Burying my excitement, I slowly turned my head towards the normally empty-looking clay pot on my dresser.

The first time that I saw the bearded mushroom I was a little surprised it was really there. I'm not going to lie, part of me thought Madam Yue pulled a fast one and sold me an empty pot. Its head was a deep red, and it had beefy eyes that were extremely far apart, and it had a wispy whiteish beard covering the rest of its face.

The Bearded Mushroom had a look of panic on its face. I felt invisible tendrils brush up against the shield of occlumency I had up. The stupid mushroom was trying to edit my thought to pretend it doesn't exist

Dancing a small victory jig, I bragged, "Not today, today you have been bested by me." Pointing my finger at the mushroom, I continued, "No longer will you have access to the mind of the great Alexander Fawley, for I have bested you in a contest of wills."

Apparently, the universe felt I was getting uppity and needed a smackdown because I tripped over one of Athena's chew toys, and I crashed down on the floor.

"Merlin's balding head!" I shouted

The shock made concentration slip, and the shield slipped away, and the bearded mushroom followed suit. I could swear that before the mushroom disappeared, it shot me a smug look.

For a moment, I was torn between wanting to hurl something at the mushroom for its smug look or chastise Athena. I ended up going with the latter.

"Athena, you know you're not supposed to leave your toys out," I complained.

Athena shot a look of interest at the toy in my hand before she started grooming herself, completely unapologetic.

As I sat back on the bed, I was a little disappointed, but I was still happy. I had made progress; not only was I finding it easier to slip into the correct mental state, I finally was able to keep the shield going with my eyes open. Now, I just needed practice. My first goal was to be able to maintain the shield at all times.

And that was just the beginning, before I attempted the trial. I planned on mastering to its fullest extent. Which meant that not only did my shields have to be infallible, but I also needed to learn how to craft fake memories to fool someone.

After all, a true master of occlumency would be able to trick someone using legilimency into believing something that's not true. I imagine that Professor Snape has to be on this level as he had to successfully trick Voldemort into thinking that he was a faithful follower.

Had he approached Voldemort with his shield raised, I'd imagine that Voldemort would have been suspicious. No, I bet he is so skilled that allowed Voldemort to pierce his shielding without any resistance and discover fake crafted memories and thoughts that led Voldemort to believe that Snape was still his faithful servant.

Thankfully, the books I had on the subject actually went in-depth on how to do this. But, they cautioned that it took even more mental fortitude than maintaining the shield. Supporting the shield would be the easy part; the true challenge would be crafting fake memories and thoughts, which requires mental dexterity and flexibility that is difficult to learn.

The few skilled and dedicated enough to learn occlumency often are unable to progress any further than the mental shield and are content with merely safeguarding their minds from unwanted intruders.

I already had future goals I wanted to accomplish with occlumency. I wanted to be able to stand in the same room as the Bearded Mushroom without it realizing that I could see it by making it think that it was successfully modifying my thoughts and memories.

Over the following days, I found myself being able to slip into the correct mental state more easily. It seemed like the more often I found the proper mental state, the easier it became to find it again, and I was able to push the bounds of my ability to maintain the shield.

I'm guessing that all this practice would help with other advanced spellwork—some of the more difficult spells required specific thoughts or feelings to be successful. For example, the patronus charm needed a sense of extreme happiness supplied from memory, and some darker magics like the unforgivable curses required a genuine desire to inflict pain. It seems one of the keys to being a skilled wizard is the ability to force your desires out on command. While that may sound easy, it requires building mental dexterity only achieved through hard work.

Over the next few weeks, once I could maintain my shield for an hour or so, I decided I wanted to test it against a wizard. Initially, I had toyed with the idea of trying to use it against Professor Dumbledore, but in the end, I decided to go with Professor Snape.

Besides, this year I had felt Professor Snape's penetrating gaze on me more than once. I had the secret suspicion that I had attracted his attention from the adventure last year, and I believed he had been employing legilimency to see if I had been up to anything.

I countered initially by refusing to meet his gaze, while I bet he is a master at occlumency. From the description in the fifth book, I bet that he wasn't as skilled using the wandless version of legilimency. He had to use his wand to break into Harry's mind, whereas Dumbledore and Voldemort were so skilled that they didn't even need a wand.

Now, I had moved to the point where I wanted to test my shield against his dark gaze. Grabbing a seat next to Anna in potions, I eagerly awaited our upcoming mental confrontation.

Professor Snape started the class in the same no-nonsense tone he always used. "Today, we will be brewing the fire-protecting potions." Motioning towards the chalkboard at the front of the room, Professor Snape continued, "It's a fairly useful potion. Once consumed, the potion renders a person immune to flames until the effects wear off."

Sitting at our table, Roger Davis eagerly interjected without thinking, "That's awesome, I bet dragon tamers use that potion all the time." Roger's voice trailed off, realizing that he had made a mistake.

Jessica, Anna, and I all unconsciously leaned away from Roger, not wanting to be anywhere near the inevitable blowback from Professor Snape.

"10 points from Ravenclaw for speaking out of turn, and 20 for sheer stupidity." Professor Snape icily remarked. "Mr. Davis, you will also turn in fifteen inches of parchment on the magical properties of dragon fire and why it would be the height of stupidity to confront a dragon believing that a simple fire protection potion would protect you."

Twisting the knife one final time, Professor Snape viciously added, "I expect that kind of thinking from Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs, but not Ravenclaws. I wonder if the sorting hat made a mistake with you."

Roger's face went deep red in embarrassment,. In Ravenclaw, one of the most effective insults is being told that you are dumber than students in the other houses. It's not a logical insult as there are plenty of talented wizards in all the houses, but Ravenclaws were definitely the magical nerds of Hogwarts. As such, we considered ourselves to be smarter than the rest of the houses.

As the lesson continued, I found it challenging to maintain my shield and concentrate on the potion. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that Professor Snape didn't regularly go around employing legilimency against students.

I don't believe that he cares enough about what is going on in the minds of all his students to use the mental arts consistently. My guess is that he only employs it when he comes across some shenanigans and wants to get to the bottom of whatever is going on. I will have to get him curious enough to begin using legilimency.

After racking my brains for a minute, an idea appeared in my head. I glanced over at Roger, who appeared to be on track to brew the potion successfully. Part of me felt terrible, rarely did things go right for Roger in medicines, it was like he was cursed.

Regardless, the other part of me squashed the part of me that felt bad, I comforted my conscious by resolving to help Roger with his essay.

One of the key ingredients for this potion was salamander blood. More than once, Professor Snape warned the class that salamander blood was extremely volatile, and not to put more than five drops in the potion.

Sweat was dripping off Roger's forehead as he was carefully adding the salamander drops into the potion. Knowing that it wouldn't take much to distract him, I casually asked, "Hey Roger. What are our chances against Gryffindor in the upcoming quidditch match?"

Ever since Roger made it onto the team this year, quidditch was his favorite topic, and he loved to talk about it.

Turning to me with a grin on his face, he bragged, "I think our chances are pretty good, we've put one of the best teams together this year."

Not taking her lavender eyes off her potion, Anna snorted condescendingly from across the table.

As Roger puffed up in outrage, my eyes bulged in shock when I saw Roger dropped his entire beaker of salamander blood into the potion. I was so surprised that I almost dropped my shield of occlumency.

I had been expecting Roger to add a few more drops than necessary, not drop all of his supply into the potion. What was he even doing with that much salamander blood?

For a moment, it seemed as if the potion wouldn't react, but then it started angrily boiling and letting off an icy blue vapor made of flame that chilled the air.

Within moments the potion boiled over the top of the cauldron spilling its contents down the side were it immediately destroyed one of the legs stabilizing the cauldron. Consequently, it tipped and spilled its contents down the table and onto the floor.

Moments later, Professor Snape appeared out of nowhere at our table, waving his wand at the remains of the potions. What was left of the potion vanished, leaving Professor Snape to glare at Roger.

I was a little surprised about how badly that could have gone. Luckily, Professor Snape watches everyone like a hawk. After this experience, I have a feeling that he gives Roger even more attention.

Professor Snape had a thick throbbing vein on his forehead as he turned his furious gaze from Roger to the burned-out remains of his cauldron. "What on earth were you doing adding that much salamander blood to the potion?" He barked.

"I... I got distracted," Roger stammered.

Knowing that this was my cue to let Snape know that they're some shenanigans going on, I put on my best I-did-something, but-you-can't-prove-it look. I picked up the expression from Fred and George. They had mastered the art of taunting someone without saying a word.

As Professor Snape shifted his annoyed gaze to the rest of us. When his dark eyes took in my expression, he paused for a moment before he snapped, "Mr. Davis, detention. I will see you in my office after dinner."

I tried not to wince in sympathy. I hadn't meant for the potion to get that bad.

"Get back to your stations," He snarled, "Everyone excluding Mr. Davis will still be required to turn in a potion."

As everyone made their way back to their cauldrons, I could feel Professor Snape's eyes on the back of my head. Sure enough, a few minutes later, I felt a mental brush against my shield. It was weaker than the psychic tendrils of the Bearded Mushroom. Turning my head, my grey eyes met his seemingly black eyes, and I felt the pressure slightly increase, but he was unable to get past my shields.

Ha, take that Professor Snape, no rooting around in my thoughts and memories whenever the mood strikes you. As I felt the pressure slightly increase, I blew a mental raspberry at the professor and turned back to my work.

Throughout the rest of the class, our mental struggle continued. Sometimes it was a straightforward assault, and others Professor Snape tried to sneak his way through. By the end of the class, sweat was running down my face, and I was mentally exhausted.

A headache had formed, and I wanted nothing more than to go pass out. As I turned in my potion, Professor Snape took one look at my potion, which was slightly off-color and sneered, "Your potion is barely passable. I wonder if something was distracting you? It will be interesting to see how you cope with more distractions in the future."

His remark set off all sorts of mental alarms. Surely he didn't mean that he would do this in every class I had with him. As I saw the gleeful, vindictive look in his eyes, my heart sank, that's precisely what he intended to do. I should have tested my shield against Dumbledore, at least he doesn't hold grudges.

Thankfully, potions was the last class of the day. Too tired for dinner, I made my way back to my room and passed out. My final thought before oblivion was that at least I will become skilled at holding a shield of occlumency up while being mentally attacked