A leaders doubts

...

Leaning over a balcony present on the building we are currently staying in, I look over all of the people wandering about their own day. All of them have lives of their own, they all have ideals that they strictly follow, some even have their own little family to take care of.

However, this can easily change in a single breath. A single attack from the witches cult can easily burn out their happiness. The white whale or the snake could destroy all life present here. Even my boring life from back then could be ended by the press of a button. A single button press could endanger the well being of a whole planet.

However, I don't feel a sense of sympathy towards these people. They have no connection with me, they are but a lesson to me. A lesson that both mine and their power isn't nearly enough, a lesson that teaches me to stay idle.

I only read until arc 5, who knows what could have happened after that. The knowledge I have now can only be abused to a certain point. And Pandora is a huge issue. That is why I mu-.

"Excuse me Suburu." Emilia's voice then comes out from behind me. "I was wondering if you had time to talk with me before I left."

Turning towards Emilia I calmly smile and nod. "Yes, I have plenty of time to talk."

That was when I noticed that Emilia had a troubled expression upon her face. "Is everything alright Emilia?" I questioned with a face full of concern.

"Yes, it's just something about what you said earlier to me when we ran into Priscilla." She says while looking at me with slight hesitation and a hint of doubt. "Would I truly be able to show the same conviction without you? Or without anyone else that is supporting me?"

"Would I be able to raise my head against those of the kingdom who despise my very existence? Would I simply do what I did in front of Priscilla and lower my head?"

Emilia who's voice wavered a bit at the end then brought her breath shakily in. She then held it in for a bit before releasing.

"Can I truly do all that promise them?"

Hearing her words, I just close my eyes and sigh deeply. "Emilia, aren't you being selfish?"

Hearing my question, Emilia's expression twists in pain and confusion.

"Aren't all the other candidates feeling the same exact doubt that you are feeling? Aren't they too questioning their success as a ruler of this kingdom?"

"As a leader, you will definitely face doubt. You will constantly ask yourself many of these questions. And those questions will forever follow you when leading."

I then calmly gaze towards her and smile.

"But, that doubt can be used for good also. If you honestly believe you can't complete your goal, think of another way to do so. If you believe that your confidence only stems from others, then by all means look for your own form of confidence."

I then take a step towards her before placing my hand upon her shoulder before making a bright smile.

"If you dislike the idea of lowering your head, then simply raise it. If you at one point feel that you are stuck between a rock and a hard place again, then do what you did today...."

Emilia who's completely absorbed in my words at this point raises her head noticing my pause.

"What did I do?"

"You asked for help Emilia."

...

"What exactly did you say to Emilia Suburu?" Rem asks me as we sit down to enjoy some tea Ram brewed up. "She seemed to be in an extremely good mood when she came back inside".

Hearing her, I finish taking a sip from my teacup before calmly placing it upon the saucer in my hands before smiling at her.

"It was nothing, just some unimportant questions."

Rem upon noticing my smile shakes her head a bit. "The tea's running low. Should I fetch us some more?"

"No, I'm planning on leaving after I'm done with this cup."

"Well, please get back before nightfall, Lord Roswaal asks of you to be present."

Hearing her, I merely sip the last bit of liquid from my cup before setting both the saucer and cup onto the table in front of me.

"Well my drink is empty, it's time for me to leave. And don't worry, I'll make sure to be back before nightfall, it's just a quick order involving almost all my pay."

Noticing my calm expression, Rem only looks at me with exasperation. "Why don't you look worried at all? Shouldn't you feel bad losing so much of your pay?"

My face then goes bitter for a second because of her words as I start to have second doubts.

"I don't want to, but it will be worth it."

Rem hearing me just sighs before picking up all of the utensils from our tea break. "Well please be quick about it, you only have so much daylight left."

"Got it!" I reply to her as I walk out the door.

...

As I stop in front of place I wanted to be, I stick my hand into my pants pocket and feel the items present Inside it. Feeling them, I smile before making my way inside.

When I step in, I take notice of the hot air present. It also reeks of iron and shaved wood.

Along the walls are many cold weapons lined up for display. Seeing so many, I lean over and examine each on by one. But I quickly look away as I notice that every weapon on display is dulled.

"They are just for decoration." A voice then rang out. "It's so an idiot doesn't just come in and steal a perfectly fine weapon."

Looking over at the voice I notice an old man sitting on a stool behind a counter. His hair is completely gray and his body short, one of his eyes are open showing a clear grey.

His other eye is tightly shut with a nasty scar running over the eyelid to his right ear. He has a long sleeve shirt on with shorts that show his also scarred legs.

"It's rude to stare you know." He grumbles out loud. "And if you're wondering, these scary things on my body came from when I was in the army."

Hearing him I just raise a eyebrow. "Why a blacksmith?"

The old man just chuckled bitterly before grabbing his left hand and pulling it off. "Lost my hand in a beast attack. I decided that I had enough fighting after that and used the money I saved up over the years to buy myself a shop."

"And how has that been going for you?"

The old man just looks me up and down before reaching into his pocket and tossing me a throwing knife.

"See for yourself, I assume your familiar with these little guys?"

"How did you know?" I say as I look up at him in shock.

"You learn a thing or two over the years I suppose." The man tells me as he calmly pops his prosthetic back on. "Now look at the damn little thing and order something, I'm trying to run a business here."

I then look down and examine this knife closely. It's a simple design, but I can feel thats it's perfectly balanced. I then put my thumb softly on the knifes edge and start to bleed.

"Impressive work." I complement the man while looking at my thumb. I then stick the bleeding thumb in my mouth before reaching into my pocket with my other and bring out the items.

"I was just wondering if you could work with materials such as these? I have the full thing at home."

The old man then turns his head calmly only to freeze as he catches sight of the items. It's a tooth,a black scale, and a small slice of a Guiltylowe's pelt.

"How did a scrawny kid like you even manage a huge kill such as this?" The old man says as he shakily brings up the tooth before shaking his head. "A Guiltylowe being used as mere materials, never thought I'd see the day."

Seeing him like this I can't help but get a bit impatient. "So can you work with this or not?"

Hearing me the old man just looks at me before giving me a sly grin. "I can work with this alright, but it will cost you a pretty coin."

"I have the coin alright, I just need you to come down to the Roswaal mansion sometime later and grab the stuff."

"That will cost you a bit more."

"Will the speed of your work also cost more?"

The old man then gives me hearty laugh while he feels the pelt of the Guiltylowe. "No, but that's a mighty fine idea to use on future customers."

I then shake my head In pity for future customers. The economic situation is already bad enough in Lugnica, giving this old man any more ideas is simply draining an average citizens coins dry.

"Anyways old man, I need to head back now. My lord wants me in early. Oh, and here's the pay. I'll be sure to fill you in on what I want done when you arrive at the mansion."

Saying that I reach into my other pocket and pull out a bulging bag and toss it to him. Catching it with his good hand, he opens it and nods before giving a loud and hearty laugh.

"Yep, this should be enough. I'll be sure to visit and discuss what wonders we could do with these materials."

"I'll see you later then old man, until next time." I say while waving to him as I step out the door.

...