chapter 5

After they had come back from their walk

Rhenea spent a few hours alone watching the news.

In the afternoon Xavier had walked back into her room to take her,

To her first Chemotherapy session

He explained to her the process to make her feel more comfortable and assured

" Chemotherapy is a common cancer treatment. It uses drugs to destroy cancer cells and it is used to prevent tumor growth. It may also be paired with other cancer treatments such as radiation therapy or surgery. But for now you'll only be having chemotherapy,

unless your condition deteriorates" he finished saying

however before continuing he paused after he had said that last line he pursed his lips before his face finally returned to normal

"Chemotherapy is most often given as an infusion into a vein (intravenously). The drugs can be given by inserting a tube with a needle into a vein in your arm or into a device in a vein in your chest.

Chemotherapy pills.

Some chemotherapy drugs can be taken in pill or capsule form too" he continued on to say

As he held her hand and supported her to sit in the lifted up hospital bed

He continued to hold her hand warmly and gave her one last squeeze before he said

" It's going to be alright. It will hurt a bit but if it does you can squeeze the handle of the bed as much as you want"

"What if it breaks?" she asked curiously but inside she was nervous

He gave her a comforting smile

"Then i suppose it breaks" he said

A little chuckle left her lips as he finished saying that

She might not have to pay anything if she breaks it, it seems.

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It was extremely painful, she clenched the handle of the bed tightly until her hands looked pale white

She looked at the infusion given into her vein intravenously, it looked horrendous to her

Before she turned her face away

It made her realise that she wasn't immortal.

When she looked at her left arm it had made her realise how truly fragile she felt at that moment.

We humans live life as if we are never gonna die but this experience changed a part of her that day

There were a few nurses hustling about doing their duties as her session continued

Once it was done, Xavier took her back to her room to let her rest.

She was tired.

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There were 15 days before every one of her chemotherapy sessions

She didn't feel much except a bit of pain during her sessions

Her close friend Mia would call her every now and then to ask her

'how she was doing and where she was at'

She hadn't told her yet that she was terminally Ill she wanted to hope that she wouldn't need to tell her at all.

She had done 4 cycles so far

But After the fourth cycle, the real side effects started to kick in.

The fatigue,

And that Everytime whenever Xavier would bring brunch or dinner,

she was unable to taste the food like she could before,

It made her life feel a bit more dull, she started to lose her appetite

She lost alot of weight, her body had started to look just as fragile as how she looked from the inside.

She had headaches more frequently, but that was to be expected considering she had a brain tumor

Her veins pained alot from the chemotherapy cycles.

However unlike other patients who she'd hear on call say how much they'd missed home.

She had no place to call home other than her house

So she wasn't having a completely different life.

But Each morning when she'd wake up she'd do something that she had never done before,

She prayed that all this had to be a bad dream but it wasn't.

She was there and she had to deal with it.

But it was a bit bearable because of Xavier

The Chemotherapy In itself was not that painful. A needle was inserted in her vein every 15 days and soon she became immune to that.

Xavier and her would take walks every now and then inside and outside the hospital,

they would watch movies together, and hold hands,

Throw popcorn on each other and laugh at their silliness.

Gradually she realised that he had become something important to her

He was someone she felt safe around,

and who made her comfortable and assured.

She would paint in her hospital room at times when Xavier wasn't there

She had painted the scenery of the hospital's garden, the Agnus-castus and their beautiful dark purple flowers were in full bloom in that painting,

the butterflies would fly in the air hopping between flower to flower,

And the hummingbirds would sit calmly nuzzling against each other for comfort

She drew a bench in the middle of the Agnus- castus tree,

the flower petals from the tree would fall there separated from their companions, as each petal was drawn vividly it made the painting look a bit lonely like as if, it was missing something.

On the day of her 5th cycle before she could go for her session, she and Xavier took a walk outside in the garden, the flower trees were still blooming vividly.

She saw the bench that she had drawn before and so she pulled Xavier over with as much strength as she could

She could hear him laughing at her antics

" Come sit " she said as she gestured him to follow her example

He sat down beside and looked at her worriedly

" Are you tired " he asked

His face looked sad after asking that, Rhenea started to look thinner, she was losing her appetite

In such a situation, she wouldn't be able to get enough nutriants unless they added more to her IV

He was getting anxious and scared, his heart felt like it was being pricked whenever he had to give her the Chemotherapy intravenous

He knew that he probably wasn't fit to be her doctor anymore, he had feelings for her and they kept increasing as time kept passing

" No, no I'm alright, I just wanted to sit here with you " she said as she held his hand and looked into his blue eyes

He smiled relieved that she was okay

" Xavier, you like me don't you " she asked but it sounded more like she was stating something

His blue eyes ripped like waves in the ocean behind his specs when he heard her

" In what way, do you mean?" He teased

He knew though.

He knew very clearly how he felt for her.

" The I wanna cuddle, kiss and hold your hand all the time type " she spoke without missing a beat

He laughed out loud after hearing her say that,

He was brimming with warmth his eyes couldn't stop holding back their affection anymore

" Well yes , i do want to kiss you " he said without embarrassment

He had said that like he was stating a fact.

But his burning red ears had seemed to have betrayed him.

She smiled brightly after seeing his ears

Her eyes looked like the shiniest emeralds at that moment

Xavier understood at that moment that his heart was utterly captured.