52

It took less than 20 minutes for Onari and Yu Wu to cross over the infamous border between South and North Korea. A line of barbed wire fencing marked the border, stretching from coast to coast. Even in the dark of the early morning, the DMZ was lit up like Broadway by the many spotlights that lined its fence.

A foxy smirk settled over Onari's face as they flew over the guards on the South Korean side of the DMZ. He caught Yu Wu's eye. She raised an eyebrow at his expression, but before she could ask what he was doing, he had already shot off into the distance.

There was a boom as Onari almost instantly broke the speed of sound. Yu Wu threw her head back, laughing and quickly following after him. Sounds of alarm from both sides of the DMZ accompanied the second sonic boom. North and South Koreans dug in and prepared for an attack while their leadership tried to figure out what was going on.

Important people were woken up. Soldiers were armed and awaited further orders on their side of the DMZ. Jets were scrambled and radar systems were put on high alert as people tried to figure out the cause of the twin sonic booms.

On the South Korean side of the border, a trickster god yawned as he walked into a command center. The command center was bustling with people running around and trying to prepare themselves for anything and everything. The trickster god sipped from a cup of coffee he had created in his hand.

Seokga was an old god. He had been tied to the Korean peninsula since the land was born from the sea. Once, he had wanted to be the sole ruler of the human world. Now though, he was just a supernatural consultant for a people he once deceived.

He sighed, plopping himself down in a chair at the main briefing table. At least his current job allowed him the simplicity and time to keep doing what he loved: pranking mortals. Seogka began to peruse what the military knew about the incident so far, invoking his divine powers at the same time to get a better read on the situation.

Something caught his eye. He did a double take and then burst out into giggles. His laughter drew the attention of the ranking officer in the room. The normally laid back older man now wore a worried and resigned expression on his face.

"Lord Seogka, what is it? Did you figure out what is responsible for the disturbance? Has the North finally put aside their prejudices and allied themselves with a supernatural faction?" the general asked.

"Pfft, fuck no," Seogka scoffed. "Those xenophobic bigots are still more likely to shoot down anything they don't understand than try to understand that they don't understand everything."

The general sighed, relieved that the worst had not come to pass, "I see… That is good. Still, is now really the time for laughter?"

"Of course it fucking is! No matter the situation, there's always room for laughter. Especially in this case. There isn't any need to worry about an attack from the North. This will be an interesting, but I dare say ultimately harmless morning for the land of Korea."

"Should… Should I even ask who the culprits are?"

"Hehehe… Let's just say the North is about to have some precocious pranksters on their hands…"

Far above the DMZ, Onari whooped as he broke the sound barrier on a flying sword. It was the fastest he had ever flown and he knew he could go much, much faster than this. The wind that cut through his hair was vicious enough to slice a mortal man in two. To Onari though, it just felt like an invigorating breeze.

Yu Wu wasn't far behind him. She grinned as well as she pushed herself to catch up with her beloved. Onari smirked back at her and began to swerve and twist through the air, starting an impromptu game of tag. They weaved up and down above the well-guarded border, turning the DMZ into their own aerial playground.

Spotlights from both sides of the DMZ tried to catch the pair of cultivators in their beams. They were all very unsuccessful. Onari and Yu Wu even made it a game to avoid the streams of light. Laughing, Onari banked around a spotlight, allowing a bit of his metallic steed to catch the light and flash anyone on the ground looking for him.

Eventually, Onari peeled off to head further into North Korea. Yu Wu followed him closely. He slowed down so Yu Wu could catch up to him. Side by side, they flew over a dark country that barely knew electric lighting.

Yu Wu giggled at Onari, "You know we probably just caused an international incident, right?"

"Yupp," Onari replied, popping the 'p'.

"You could have even started a war," Yu Wu proceeded to faux-lecture him.

"Ehh," Onari waved dismissively. "We have the luck of the heavens on our side. I'm sure level heads will prevail."

"... You were saying?" Yu Wu said, sensing a pair of fast moving mortals approaching their position in the sky.

Onari was still nonchalant, dismissing any potential trouble his prank had caused. "It's just the North Koreans. Like, seriously… They're not exactly going to disclose this to the international press. It'd just embarrass them, and North Korea cares too much about its 'reputation' to do that. And if they can take us out, we don't even deserve to call ourselves cultivators. Let's just have some fun."

A pair of old Soviet-era fighter jets flown by North Korean pilots caught up to Onari and Yu Wu somewhat quickly. In an abysmal showing of aerial tactics, they flew up right beside the two cultivators. Onari and Yu Wu were actually able to look into the cockpits and make eye contact with the pilots.

Onari gave the pilot on his side a cheeky wave. The pilot looked utterly shocked at what he was seeing. He didn't have time to get over that shock before the wings of his plane were literally burned off. The jet quickly lost control and began to tumble out of the sky with the pilot scrambling to eject.

On Yu Wu's side, she gave her pilot a dainty wave. This pilot was equally shocked, but there was also an underlying look of lecherous intent in his eyes. Yu Wu physically recoiled at the pilot's leer. A swipe of her hand sliced the plane in half lengthwise, bisecting the pilot along with the machine.

Yu Wu shuddered in disgust, "Revolting vermin."

Onari winced, "I don't think you killed him slowly enough…"

Yu Wu rarely reverted back to her young mistress persona when she was alone with Onari, but the pilot had obviously managed to shake her, "T-This young mistress agrees…"

Onari stepped onto Yu Wu's sword to comfort her. He hugged her warmly, sending support and relief through their bond. He mentally instructed his own blade to keep pace with them. They flew on in silence like that.

A couple of minutes later, there was a thunderous explosion in the distance. A streak of light rose from the source of the sound. The streak climbed high into the air then turned over and shot towards Onari and Yu Wu.

"For fuck's sake! Can't you see we're busy with something!?" Onari shouted at the missile.

Impossibly, the missile seemed to stutter in its path toward Onari and Yu Wu, as if the killing intent and righteous rage in Onari's voice had actually affected the inanimate object. Though that also could have been the shoddy quality of North Korean armaments. Either way, before the missile could resume its mission, Onari punched.

A giant fist of fire was thrust out of Onari's knuckles. The fist grew and grew until it loomed over and illuminated the dark countryside below. With a scream of fury that echoed throughout the whole country, the flaming fist of Onari's manifested anger slammed into the missile.

A plume of fire expanded in the air above North Korea. The entire night sky lit up in a single, glorious flash of light. A great ball of explosive gas vaporized the darkness of the night for miles and miles. In the morning, the dregs of Onari's raging Qi would fall upon the whole of North Korea. And since the anger in that Qi was aimed at the North Korean regime… Well, the country was about to go through a period of unprecedented unrest…

That didn't matter to Onari and Yu Wu at the moment though. Onari was focused on purging that perverse pilot from Yu Wu's memory and the only thing on Yu Wu's mind was how hard she was laughing.

"D-Did… hahaha, Did you just punch a nuke??"

"Well… "Onari said, still holding Yu Wu. "It… probably wasn't a nuke. But I did absolutely just smack a missile out of the sky."

"And it was fucking scared of you! I can't, hehehehehe!" Yu Wu said, devolving into giggles that she muffled by burying her face in Onari's chest.

"I think I have a new title for you," Yu Wu said, still laughing. "Onari, Enemy of the ICBM, Boogie-monster of conventional weaponry, Tormentor of thermonuclear warheads everywhere!"

Onari's blush was totally not because those nicknames had a certain ring to them. At least, that's what he told himself. Smacking a nuke into non-existence totally wasn't now on his bucket list…

"Let's just get out of here before these idiots try that shit again," Onari muttered.

"I don't know~" Yu Wu singsonged. "I'm kind of curious if they'll escalate to the nuclear option if we keep pushing them."

"... That's such a bad idea, but I am sooo here for it."

Yu Wu giggled, "Oh! Oh! I call next missile!"