53

Onari and Yu Wu didn't actually manage to get North Korea to escalate to the nuclear option. They spent the couple of hours left until morning flying at a leisurely pace and batting everything North Korea could throw at them out of the sky. By the time the sun started peeking over the horizon, they had racked up four more missiles, one or two ground-to-air defense systems, and even a couple artillery shells that they returned to the pitcher like this was baseball.

"Awwww," Yu Wu pouted after an hour of silence from the regime. "I think they finally realized how pointless their efforts were. Such a shame…"

Onari chuckled, patting Yu Wu's head, "I'm sure we can get them to respond if we ever come back. Hell, if we make this a regular vacation spot, they might eventually resort to nukes."

"You really think so?!" Yu Wu's smile at the idea of being nuked was blindingly bright.

"If they don't, I promise I'll sneak into their facility and nuke you myself."

"Aww, that's how you know it's real love."

"Ladies, get yourself a man who will unironically nuke you?" Onari teased.

"Ha! What a wonderful sentiment! Truly, my beloved goes above and beyond in his pursuit of making me happy!"

"A nuke is a small price to pay…"

"Indeed. I would not hesitate to do the same for you, darling," Yu Wu nodded as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. She then tapped her chin, considering something. "I wonder… Would absorbing the radioactive material within a warhead help progress cultivation?"

"I… believe it would actually. At the very least, it would provide us with a surplus of energy. I guess the real question is what the Qi nature of radiation is…"

"Probably something to do with Death and Decay. So not inherently corruptive, but definitely something to be careful around. It might also give insights into the concepts of Matter and Time because of the nature of radioactivity and half-lives."

"I must admit, this idea has piqued my curiosity," Onari mused, rubbing his chin. "The only hurdle would be acquiring such sensitive materials."

Yu Wu shrugged, "There are plenty of mortal governments that do not deserve the potent weapons they currently possess. It would be simple enough to stage a heist. We could even try and find some of the hundreds of nuclear weapons that the Soviet Union and Russia have lost over the years."

"... We could actually do this, couldn't we?"

"We totally could."

"And it wouldn't even be a meme. Like, this might actually be productive for our cultivation and profound understanding."

"Yup, we just have to get our hands on some murder-rocks."

"Well… We are in one of those undeserving countries at the moment…"

Yu Wu smiled viciously, "Oh, darling. I believe a small tribute of nuclear material is only fitting from these people who dared to harm us… The fact that they failed miserably at that task does not matter."

Onari matched her expression with a grin, "Why, I find myself agreeing with that idea, love. Surely this 'rich', 'rich' country could spare a couple of kilograms of enriched uranium for a pair of poor cultivators. They were the ones who wronged us first after all…"

"Yes, quite," Yu Wu said pompously before devolving into giggles.

From there, it was actually quite easy for Onari and Yu Wu to find North Korea's 'secret' nuclear bunker. North Korea wasn't a great power. It wasn't even a power. It was a tiny, isolated country ruled by a regressive regime that wouldn't know supernatural security if it slapped their Supreme Leader across the face and declared "I am your daddy!" The fact that they even had nuclear capabilities was a miracle in itself.

For such a militaristic regime, North Korea didn't actually have that many locations where they could be secretly keeping nuclear materials. All Yu Wu and Onari had to do was search the country for North Korea's missile silos. They then hovered over the silo, blatantly disregarding any 'laws' or 'restricted airspace' while sensing for Death and Decay energies.

They hit gold on their first missile silo. Yu Wu grinned eagerly at her beloved, taking out the sword she actually used for battle and preparing to cut her way through a couple of meters worth of steel. Like all things Onari made for his fiancee, Yu Wu's battle sword was a work of art.

It was a Jian-style straight sword, with a one and a half-handed hilt and a small crossguard. The blade was 70 centimeters long and forged from a single piece of jade-steel alloy. The jade used in the blade usually would have made the sword quite brittle, but Onari had utilized multiple methods of strengthening the blade. Not only was the jade infused with Onari and Yu Wu's combined Qi, but Onari had also drawn a long series of characters and runes along the length of the blade that enhanced its durability.

The jade-steel did not sacrifice style for function and even enhanced the blade's function through Onari's efforts. The alloy still bore the clear, characteristic beauty of jade, but was actually stronger and sharper than steel. The characters and formation work Onari had done on the blade made it even more survivable and reinforced the concept of 'Sword' that the blade carried.

The final result was a beautiful, deadly, and surprisingly sturdy piece of weaponry. It was perfectly crafted for Yu Wu specifically. Onari had taken advantage of the Qi Yu Wu infused into the sword and the bond he shared with her to tailor the weapon to her soul. It was so well-matched with Yu Wu's being that it would even grow in strength alongside Yu Wu's soul and cultivation.

Yu Wu's blade cut through the thick silo doors like a shrill musical note in a quiet room. As the steel parted eagerly for Yu Wu's sword intent, Onari melted the excess metal out of the way with his profound flames. The inside of the launch silo was revealed in seconds.

The silo's blaring alarms were ignored by Onari and Yu Wu as they hovered there, observing their prize. They slowly descended until they were close enough to touch the missile. Onari absently blocked off the access corridor that connected the rest of the bunker to the silo with a wall of solid fire.

"It's… smaller than I thought it would be," Yu Wu commented.

Onari nodded, "Yeah, I was expecting like 15-20 meters… This thing is barely 10 meters tall. I guess it is fitting that it's Soviet-made though."

"Still, this is what we came for. Let's just cut off the warhead and get out of here."

With a casual swipe of her sword, Yu Wu separated the nuclear warhead from the actual missile. Just as casually, Onari picked up the 300-pound bomb with one hand. A thought had their flying swords rising out of the silo and racing into the distance to find someplace where they could experiment with their prize in private.