Chapter 30.3: Not everything is as simple as it seems

"Novem, I..."

"Understood, Young Master."

We sank back to the ground like tar from the shadow dimension, but this time I didn't close my eyes. When my face finally sank, I noticed a dark place that appeared to be space because there appeared to be no gravity. My body twisted and stood on its head. I was concerned, but Novem was still holding my hand, so all was well. However, just as I was about to pass through viscous liquid again, a pair of glowing red spheres appeared in the darkness, and a black vertical pupil swiveled to see me. I opened my eyes like saucers, but before I could say anything, I was out the other side, back into the colorful and familiar reality.

When we finally got outside, I took a deep breath. Along with Novem's grip, I placed a hand against my chest, clutching my worn white shirt for support. I couldn't tell if my labored breathing was caused by a lack of oxygen or by what I had witnessed. I had no idea what it was, but I knew it was a monster. I felt like an insect as its eyes seemed to pierce through me. I shivered in discomfort.

I stared at the ground, comforted by Novem's hand on my back. I couldn't help but inquire. "Do you see that every time you use your bloodline?"

"What, young master?"

"Those eyes watching you."

After a brief moment of silence, "I'm sorry, Young Master, it seems the shadow dimension is rejecting you more strongly than it should." She expressed regret.

After catching my breath, I waved my hand. The way Novem sounded, it sounded like a hallucination. "It was required." After that, I looked around the entire warehouse. My attention was drawn to a table with some papers. "Let's look at the tables. There will, hopefully, be a map."

I heard a slightly concerned voice behind me as I took a somewhat unsteady step toward my goal. "Are you okay, young master?"

"Yes," I said flatly.

After that, I didn't hear anything else, so I reached across the table and propped myself up on my elbows due to exhaustion. Before going through the pile of documents, I opened the drawers under the table first, saving the most tedious for last. There was an old book and a pen inside the dusty, cracked drawer. I grabbed it just in case, but it didn't seem important. According to what I could see on the first few pages, it looked like a notebook. I couldn't help but find it amusing that someone was keeping a journal in this miserable place.

Novem quickly joined me in the search, now on the surface of the table, slightly illuminated by the lamps on the walls. Her hands, filthy with dirt and blood, combed through the stack of documents, looking for anything that could help us.

My findings made me frown. "These documents are odd." Going to the next page. "They're registering food." I couldn't figure out why. "Apples, potatoes, and legumes." I moved my gaze to another pile and saw the same thing. "Wasn't this part of the black market? I overheard the first bandits I killed discussing Belora." I remarked absentmindedly.

"It's the same around here." According to Novem, they appeared to be warehouse records.

I knew it was unlikely that someone would leave a map on a table in a dark room, but we needed to keep looking.

After a while, the sound of crumpling the paper was drowned out by my tired and somewhat hoarse voice. "Nothing."

"Nothing." Novem repeated.

In frustration, I clenched my fist. I needed to get out of this bunker or whatever it was as soon as possible. I needed to be with Charlotte because she was alone. I didn't want to abandon her for too long. I couldn't tell if it was day or night, and the unknown terrified me.

A comforting hand rested on my clenched fist. "Young master, is everything okay?"

"Yes" I sighed. I glanced through the documents again, maybe we had missed something.

"You don't look like it." Novem's question surprised me, but I let her continue speaking. "Young master, you can trust me with anything."

"Don't I look it?" I snorted. "Why do you say that?"

"Young master, you haven't looked me in the face once in all this time." She reasoned.

I turned away from the documents. I hadn't seen her face before? With difficulty, I looked up. Two pairs of black eyes that reflected white light and deep concern returned my gaze. I felt guilty because of her slightly dirt-stained nose, dirty face, and messy, slightly burned hair, as well as a pair of slightly cracked lips. Maybe I was actually avoiding her gaze.

Again I sank my face into the documents. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Two cold fingers touched my chin and lifted my face. As Novem's face approached, my eyes widened like saucers. "Young master." She began with a slightly reprimanding tone. Her hand moved from my chin to my cheek, where she stroked me comfortingly with a trusting smile on her dirty face. "You can have confidence in me."

I held Novem's gaze, but her unwaveringly stubborn gleam caused me to sigh. "I'm sorry; this was entirely my fault. I miscalculated, and now everything sucks." With a grimace, I finally blurted it out. "You were hurt, Charlotte was hurt, and many people died. I'm sorry."

Novem's pupils dilated slightly. "You didn't hurt anyone, young master." Her black eyes bore into mine as she assured me. Novem moved her hand from my cheek to my hair, where she caressed it as she always did. Her touch made me feel a little better, but her next words quickly changed my mood. "You are not to blame, young master."

I quickly separated myself from her and gave her an incredulous look. "What?" Even though I knew it wasn't a good idea, I smacked the table hard. "I literally fucked everything up! Your teammates died as a result of my blunder." Angrily, I looked her in the eyes. "And you claim it isn't my blame?"

Despite my outburst, Novem bowed her head slightly, as if she didn't understand what I was saying. "We, the shadow servants, are expendable. Your life is what counts, young master." Her words brought me to a halt. Her eyes were genuine; she truly believed that. "Nothing else matters as long as you're safe."

'She shouldn't think like that, she should hate me.'

I looked at her more closely, my fury fading fast. "Novem you… Why do you think like that?"

The devotion of the shadow servants was out of the ordinary. Because the Novem´s clan had an exclusive contract with house Edevane, I knew they were trained to be loyal to the house. I'm not sure if that also applied to eroge, but her affection was almost non-existent when I first met her. Despite this, why is she so devoted?

"Thinking like that?" She tilted her head to one side.

I shook my head, refusing to respond to her question. Instead, I asked a new question. "Don't you care about your friends' deaths?"

Novem appeared to pause for a moment. "I suppose I'll miss them, but as long as you're safe, it's a small price to pay, young master."

I was filled with rage and sadness. "Did they tell you that your master was more important than your life in your clan, or was it someone else?"

"My clan" She replied instantly.

I sank back in my seat with a sigh under Novem's curious gaze. I couldn't believe it, so I asked a few more questions. "Do you have any favorite foods, Novem?"

The abrupt change in question clearly perplexed her, but she responded anyway. "Not in particular."

"Favorite color?"

"No."

"Any hobbies?"

"No."

"What do you do with the money we pay you?"

"I send one part to our Umbra clan's head mother and keep the other."

"If I ordered you to commit suicide right now, would you do it?"

"No." Her response relieved me, but only until she spoke again. "Young master, I still have to get you out of here. If you still want me dead after that, you'll have to talk to Lady Lilia and the head mother about it."

The Umbra clan… I sensed my rage shifting elsewhere. That was nothing more than a place where people were brainwashed. It doesn't say much in the novel, but I should have figured it out. I couldn't care less if they hurt or even killed people in that place before. Having ridiculously loyal subordinates was convenient, but Novem meant something to me now.

I rose from the table before Novem's puzzled expression, and when I was close enough, I drew her into a hug. "Novem. " I stated unequivocally. Novem is still not completely loyal to me. She has a slight preference for me, but my mother is her true master. But, nonetheless. "You are not permitted to die, make a sacrifice, or injure yourself." I gave the order while pressing her against me. "I'll kill myself if you die. So, if you don't want to fail your mission, let's do this together."

Though clearly confused by my words she Nodded. "Understood, young master."

That's all I can say for the time being. With a little more time, I might be able to make Novem choose to be loyal to me. Aside from that, I decided to demonstrate Novem's worth. She has never been and will never be a disposable object. Maybe I should pay her a visit to the Umbra clan someday. They harmed Novem in the end, and I will make them pay after I leave here. But first, I enjoyed the feel of Novem's body against mine.