[27] Todo's Theory of Everything

A/N: Thanks for all the support! Here is your bonus chapter!

The cafeteria's noise level hit different at lunch. I poked at my rice, trying to focus on Yaoyorozu's detailed presentation about our class rep duties, but Todo's booming voice kept pulling my attention.

"And that's why women who like older men often have complex relationships with authority!" Todo declared, slamming his hands on the table. "It's all connected to early childhood development!"

"Dude," Pikachu said through a mouthful of food, "where do you even get this stuff?"

"Research!" Todo pulled out a thick binder. "I've been collecting data for months. Would you like to see my charts?"

"Oh my god, he has charts," Ashido whispered, leaning forward. "This is amazing."

I caught Kaori's eye across the table. She'd been unusually quiet, focusing on her lunch with an intensity that suggested she was trying not to laugh. When she noticed me looking, she raised an eyebrow and mouthed 'charts?' I shrugged helplessly.

"Nakamura-kun?" Yaoyorozu's voice pulled me back. "Are you listening?"

"Sorry," I said, straightening up. "You were saying something about... scheduling?"

She sighed, shuffling her perfectly organized notes. "Yes. I think we should establish regular meetings with each other to discuss class concerns and upcoming events. Perhaps twice a week?"

"Twice a week? That seems-"

"Necessary," she finished firmly. "As class representatives, we need to stay ahead of potential issues."

"What kind of issues could possibly need two meetings a week?"

A pair of chopsticks appeared in mid-air, waving enthusiastically. "Oh! Oh! Like the laundry situation!"

I blinked at where I assumed Hagakure's face was. "The what?"

"The girls' laundry room on the second floor," she explained. "The dryer makes this weird noise that sounds like it's summoning demons."

"That's... oddly specific."

"See?" Yaoyorozu made a note. "These are exactly the kind of concerns we need to address."

"Demonic dryers," I repeated flatly.

Jiro snorted, nearly spitting out her drink. "Better than Todo's psychology theories."

"My theories are backed by extensive research!" Todo protested. "For example, did you know that people who prefer spicy food are statistically more likely to-"

"Bro," Kirishima cut in, "maybe save the food psychology for after lunch?"

"But this is vital information for understanding the human psyche!"

"Speaking of vital information," Kaminari said, his eyes gleaming, "anyone want to hear about the 'training dummy' that left those marks on Nakamura's neck?"

I kicked him under the table. Hard.

"Ow! I'm just saying, it must have been some intense training-"

Another kick, this time from Jiro. "Read the room, Pikachu."

"But-"

Ashido giggled. "Though I gotta say, those are some impressive-"

"So!" I said loudly. "Yaoyorozu, about those meetings. Maybe we could start with once a week and see how it goes?"

Yaoyorozu considered this, tapping her pen against her notebook. "I suppose that would be acceptable. But we should also exchange numbers for urgent matters."

"Like demonic dryers?"

"I'm serious about that!" Hagakure's chopsticks stabbed the air. "It's super creepy!"

"Right," I said, pulling out my phone. "What's your number?"

As Yaoyorozu recited her contact info, I caught a shift in Kaori's posture from the corner of my eye. She'd stopped pretending to eat, her chopsticks frozen halfway to her mouth.

"Perfect," Yaoyorozu said, checking her phone. "How does Wednesday lunch work for our first meeting?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever works-"

"Perhaps we could meet in the library?" She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's quieter there, and we can really focus on our duties."

Kaori set her chopsticks down with a soft click.

"The library," I repeated, suddenly very aware of the tension radiating from across the table. "For... class rep stuff."

"Exactly!" Yaoyorozu beamed. "I have so many ideas I'd like to discuss. And the study rooms there are perfect for private conversations."

Todo slammed his binder shut. "Speaking of private conversations, who wants to hear my theory about why people who prefer study rooms often have repressed-"

"No one," Jiro cut in. "Literally no one wants to hear that."

"But the data-"

"Nope."

"The charts clearly show-"

"Still nope."

I felt my phone vibrate. Yaoyorozu had sent a simple 'Hello!' with a smile emoji. As I added her contact, another message popped up from Kaori: 'Study rooms, huh? How convenient.'

I glanced up to find Kaori examining her nails with exaggerated interest.

'It's just class rep stuff,' I typed back.

'Sure it is. And I'm just really invested in my cuticle care right now.'

"Nakamura-kun?" Yaoyorozu's voice pulled me back. "Should we say one o'clock on Friday?"

Before I could answer, a sharp alarm cut through the cafeteria. The lights dimmed, and red emergency strips illuminated along the floors.

"Level Three security breach," a computerized voice announced. "All students please proceed to designated safe zones. This is not a drill. Repeat: Level Three security breach."

The cafeteria descended into pandemonium. Tables scraped across floors as students shoved their way toward the exits. Someone knocked over a tray, and the crash only added to the frenzy.

"Everyone stop!" I jumped onto our table, rice bowl clattering to the floor. "You're going to get someone killed!"

A few nearby students paused, but the crowd at the exits kept pushing.

"Yaoyorozu, create a megaphone." I held out my hand without looking down.

"On it." A flash of light, and cool metal pressed into my palm.

I raised the megaphone to my lips. "HEY! SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

The screech of feedback cut through the chaos. Heads turned.

"Look at what you're doing," I said, gesturing to where several first-years had been knocked down. "This is exactly how people get trampled. We're at a hero school - act like it."

"But it's Level Three!" someone shouted. "That means intruders!"

"Yeah, and running like headless chickens is definitely the answer." I pointed to Kirishima. "Help those kids up. Kaminari, Todo - get to the exits and organize lines. One person at a time, no shoving."

They moved without question. Todo's voice boomed over the crowd: "Single file! Anyone who pushes goes to the back and has to listen to my lecture on crowd psychology!"

That got people moving in orderly lines real quick.

"Jiro." I hopped down from the table. "Can you use your jacks to check what's actually happening outside?"

She nodded, earphone jacks extending toward the walls. After a moment, she rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding me? It's just reporters. They're yelling questions about All Might teaching here."

"Seriously?" Ashido threw her hands up. "All this for some paparazzi?"

"The press has been getting more aggressive lately," Yaoyorozu said. "Ever since All Might joined the faculty."

The rest of lunch passed without incident, though conversations kept drifting back to the press breach. It wasn't the first time reporters had tried to get onto campus, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Still, something about it bothered me.

"Two security breaches," Kaori mused as we walked back to class. "That's not a coincidence."

"Could be," Kaminari said, hands behind his head. "I mean, the press has been pretty crazy lately."

"Yeah, but the timing..." I frowned. The morning's gate malfunction still nagged at me. "First the main gate breaks, then reporters just happen to show up?"

Todo stroked his chin. "According to my research on pattern recognition-"

"Bro, please," Kirishima groaned. "No more research."

"But this is relevant! Studies show that people who dismiss coincidences often have unresolved trust issues stemming from-"

"Dude!"

Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. "Actually, Todo might have a point. Not about the trust issues," she added quickly, "but about patterns. The press shouldn't have been able to get through our security so easily."

"Maybe they just got lucky?" Ashido suggested.

Jiro shook her head. "U.A.'s barriers are no joke. My dad tried to surprise visit me and got turned away at the gate. They wouldn't even let him in with ID."

"The reporters could have inside information," Kaori said quietly. Something in her tone made me look at her, but her expression gave nothing away.

"Like what?" Kaminari asked.

"Security schedules. Patrol patterns. Weak points in the system."

"That's... oddly specific," I said.

She shrugged, a little too casually. "Just thinking out loud."

We reached the classroom door, and I grabbed the handle - only to find it locked.

"That's weird," Hagakure said. "Aizawa-sensei always leaves it open after lunch."

I jiggled the handle again. Nothing.

"Step aside," Todo declared. "I've studied door psychology extensively-"

"It's locked, not having an existential crisis," Jiro muttered.

"Perhaps we should check with the faculty office?" Yaoyorozu suggested.

Before anyone could respond, the door clicked and swung open. Aizawa stood there, looking even more exhausted than usual.

"Inside," he said. "Now."

We filed in. The rest of the class was already seated, unusually quiet. The atmosphere felt heavy, like right before a storm.

"As you're aware," Aizawa said once we'd sat down, "we had an unauthorized press incursion during lunch." He paused, scanning the room. "What you don't know is that they didn't just breach the outer perimeter. They made it past three separate security checkpoints before being stopped."

Murmurs rippled through the class.

"That shouldn't be possible," Yaoyorozu said.

"No," Aizawa agreed. "It shouldn't."

"The gate malfunction," Tokoyami said. "This morning. Was that-"

"Connected? We're looking into it." Aizawa's eyes narrowed slightly. "For now, all students are to travel in groups of three or more. No exceptions. Report anything suspicious immediately."

"Define suspicious," Kaminari said.

"If you have to ask, report it."

Kaori raised her hand. "What about after-hours training?"

"Suspended until further notice."

"But-"

"No exceptions, Sakurada." Aizawa's tone left no room for argument. "That goes for all of you. I know some of you like to push boundaries." His gaze lingered on me for a moment. "Don't."

The rest of the afternoon dragged. Even Present Mic seemed subdued during English, though that might have been because Aizawa kept glaring at him whenever he started getting too loud.

"This sucks," Kaminari complained as we packed up. "How are we supposed to improve if we can't train?"

"Pretty sure he just meant unsupervised training," Kirishima said.

"Still sucks."

"At least we can train during class," Ashido pointed out. "And hey, maybe it won't last long!"

I noticed Kaori hanging back as everyone started leaving. She was taking way too long to put her books away, like she was waiting for something.

"You guys go ahead," I told the others. "I need to ask Kaori about... that thing."

"Oh, that thing," Kaminari waggled his eyebrows. "The training dummy thing?"

Jiro yanked his ear. "Come on, Pikachu. Let's give them some privacy."

Once everyone else had left, Kaori spoke without looking up. "The press didn't get that far in by luck."

"I know."

"Someone helped them."

"I know that too."

She finally met my eyes. "But why?"

I paced the empty classroom, mentally ticking off possibilities. "They could be after the faculty records - quirk analyses, psychological profiles, that kind of thing."

"Mm-hmm," Kaori murmured.

"Or maybe the support department's designs. Some of that tech would be worth millions on the black market." I ran a hand through my hair. "Then there's the medical wing - Recovery Girl's research could revolutionize healing quirks if it got out."

"Right..."

"Plus All Might's teaching here now. Could be trying to dig up dirt on him, or- what?"

Kaori blinked, straightening up from where she'd been leaning on a desk. "What what?"

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?"

"That thing where you pretend to listen but you're actually..." I trailed off as realization hit. "Oh."

A slight blush colored her cheeks. "I was listening! You said something about... records?"

"You were staring."

"Was not." She crossed her arms. "I was thinking."

"About?"

"How cute you are when you're all focused and detective-y." She grinned at my expression. "What? I can appreciate my man's brain."

"We're supposed to be solving a mystery here."

"We can do both. Multi-tasking is a valuable hero skill." She hopped onto a desk, swinging her legs. "Besides, your room would be much better for theorizing."

"Kaori."

"What? It's private, comfortable, and we won't have to worry about Aizawa catching us breaking his 'no exceptions' rule."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "That's exactly why we shouldn't-"

"Someone helped reporters breach three security checkpoints," she said, suddenly serious. "You really think we should discuss that in an unlocked classroom?"

"...damn it."

"See? I can be logical too." She slid off the desk. "Now, about that private discussion..."

"Fine. But actual discussion this time."

"Of course! I am shocked and offended that you'd imply otherwise."

"Uh-huh."

Ten minutes later, we'd made it back to the dorms without incident. I barely had time to close my door before Kaori flopped onto my bed like she owned it.

"So," she said, propping her chin on her hands. "You were saying something about faculty records?"

"Right." I grabbed my notebook and sat at my desk. "Think about it - U.A. has detailed files on every student and teacher's quirk. Strengths, weaknesses, psychological profiles..."

"Perfect for someone planning an attack."

"Exactly. Or blackmail material. Some of those files probably have stuff people would rather keep private."

Kaori hummed thoughtfully. "The support department angle's interesting too. Power Loader's always going on about industrial espionage."

"Yeah, but why use reporters as cover? That's pretty low-tech for tech thieves."

"Unless..." She sat up, eyes widening. "What if the reporters weren't the point?"

I turned to face her. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Everyone's focused on how the press got in. But what if that's just a distraction?"

"From what?"

"From whatever they were really doing while security was busy chasing journalists."

I leaned back, letting that sink in. "That... actually makes sense. Create chaos at the front gate-"

"While someone else slips in somewhere else," she finished. "Classic misdirection."

"But that would mean… We need to tell Aizawa."

"With what proof? 'Hey sensei, we were breaking your direct orders to figure out that maybe there are secret infiltrators on campus?'"

"When you put it like that..."

"Besides," she added, "if there are infiltrators, telling the faculty might tip them off."

I raised an eyebrow. "You've thought about this a lot."

"I read spy novels."

"Right. Spy novels."

She threw a pillow at me. "Don't give me that look. I'm trying to help."

"I know, I know." I caught the pillow and tossed it back. "So… now what?"

Kaori let out a long breath, rolling onto her back. "I don't know. Without actual proof, we're just spinning theories. The faculty's probably already investigating anyway."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, you're right. Pretty dumb to play detective when our principal's literally one of the smartest beings on the planet."

"True. Nezu probably had this figured out before lunch even ended."

"Meanwhile, we're here like 'hmm yes, the infiltrators must have infiltrated by... infiltrating.'"

She laughed. "Speaking of dumb decisions..." She propped herself up on her elbows, fixing me with a look. "Finishing inside multiple times without checking if I'm on birth control or not? Not your proudest moment, genius."

I groaned and flopped face-first onto the bed next to her. "Yeah, that was... not my finest judgment."

"You think?"

We laid down in silence for a few minutes before I spoke again. "You know, they'd probably have your eyes."

"Hmm?" Kaori rolled onto her side to face me.

"Our kids. They'd definitely get your eyes. And hopefully your memory - one of us needs to remember where we put things."

She went very still beside me. "Our... kids?"

"Yeah, I mean..." I gestured vaguely at nothing. "Little troublemakers running around. Breaking into the cookie jar with their mom's sneaking skills. Probably giving Recovery Girl grey hairs with whatever crazy quirk combination they end up with."

"You've thought about this."

"Hard not to, after..." I cleared my throat. "You know."

"Tell me more," she said softly.

"Well, there'd be at least two. Maybe three. The oldest would be super protective of their siblings, but also teach them all the best ways to cause chaos. And they'd definitely inherit your talent for finding the worst possible moment to crack jokes."

"Excuse you, my timing is impeccable."

"You made a 'that's what she said' joke during rescue training."

"And it was hilarious."

"The point is, they'd be brilliant and ridiculous and probably give us grey hair by age thirty. But they'd also be kind, you know? The kind of kids who'd share their lunch with someone who forgot theirs, or stand up to bullies even if they got in trouble for it."

When Kaori didn't respond, I turned to look at her. She was staring at me with an expression I'd seen before - something raw and vulnerable and a little bit terrified.

"Kaori?"

She surged forward, kissing me hard enough to steal my breath. Her hands gripped my shirt like she was afraid I'd disappear if she let go.

When she finally pulled back, her eyes were bright. "Stay with me."

"What?"

"Like you said last night. Stay with me."

Oh.

Oh.

The weight of what she wasn't saying hit me like a punch to the gut. This wasn't just about right now. This was about tomorrow, and next week, and years from now.

"Kaori, I-"

She pressed a finger to my lips. "Don't. Don't say it yet. Just... stay."

I kissed her finger, then took her hand in mine. "As long as you want me to."

She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "What if I want you to stay forever?"

"Then I guess you're stuck with me." I pulled her closer. "Hope you're ready for decades of me forgetting where I put my keys."

"We'll get one of those tracking devices old people use."

"Hey!"

"Or maybe a nice lanyard. Very fashionable."

"You're awful."

"Mm-hmm. And you just signed up for a lifetime of it."

I pressed my forehead against hers. "Worth it."

She was quiet for a long moment, fingers tracing patterns on my chest. "They'd have your smile."

"What?"

"Our kids. They'd have your smile. That real one, not the fake charming one you use on teachers."

"I do not have a fake charming smile. It's called diplomacy."

"That's called being a shameless flirt." She poked my ribs. "Anyway. The real smile. The one you get when you're actually happy, not just trying to charm someone. They'd have that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And probably your habit of running headfirst into trouble."

"Hey, I'm strategic about my trouble-running."

"Sure you are." She shifted closer, tucking her head under my chin. "They'd be beautiful."

"Course they would. Look at their mom."

"Smooth talker."

"Just honest."

She hummed against my chest. "We should probably figure out the birth control situation before we keep talking about hypothetical children."

"Probably smart."

"Recovery Girl's going to kill us if we show up asking for Plan B if I run out."

"Oh god." I groaned. "Can you imagine? She'd give us The Lecture."

"With charts."

"And statistics."

"And that disappointed grandmother look."

We both shuddered.

"Pharmacy run tomorrow?" I suggested.

"Definitely." She yawned. "Though maybe we should practice safe sex in the meantime..."

I raised an eyebrow. "That sounds suspiciously responsible of you."

"I know, right? Maybe I'm growing as a person." She grinned wickedly. "Or maybe I just really like practicing."

"You're impossible."

"Mm-hmm. And you love it."

The word hung between us, unspoken but undeniable. Neither of us was ready to say it out loud yet, but we both knew where this was heading.

"You know," I said after a while, "if they get your stealth skills and my spatial awareness..."

"They'd be unstoppable."

"The ultimate ninja babies."

She laughed against my chest. "Is that what we're calling them now? Ninja babies?"

"Better than 'training dummy results.'"

"Oh my god." She smacked my arm. "We are never living that down, are we?"

"Not if Pikachu has anything to say about it."

"We could always short-circuit his memory."

"Pretty sure that's illegal."

"Only if we get caught."

"You're a terrible influence."

"Says the guy who just spent ten minutes describing our future children."

"Fair point." I pulled her closer. "Though technically, you started it with the birth control comment."

"Technically, you started it by not pulling out."

"...also a fair point."

==========

[Next time on "My Hero Academia: Limitless"]

"So," I adjusted my tie in front of the studio camera, "next week we're heading to the USJ facility for rescue training-"

"Which I've thoroughly researched," Yaoyorozu cut in, straightening her own blazer. "The Unforeseen Simulation Joint contains six distinct disaster zones, each designed to-"

"Yaomomo." I placed a hand on her shoulder. "This is supposed to be a preview, not a lecture."

She blushed slightly. "Right. Sorry. I just get excited about proper preparation."

"I know you do." I smiled. "It's kind of adorable actually-"

"OHOHOHO!" Todo's voice boomed through the studio speakers. "What's this? Could our vice president be making a play for that second spot in my besto friendo's heart?"

"Todo, get out of the sound booth," I said.

"The betting odds are wild! Katsumi's still leading at 3-to-1, but Hitomi's closed the gap to 4-to-1! Jiro's holding steady at 5-to-1, while Uraraka's dark horse odds have improved to 8-to-1! And now Yaomomo enters the race at 6-to-1!"

Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. "While I appreciate the favorable odds, perhaps we should focus on the preview-"

"Notice how she didn't deny it!" Todo's grin was audible. "And what about that shoulder touch earlier? Very demure, Very intimate, Very presidential!"

"Todo," I warned.

"The shippers are going crazy! YaoNaka? NakaMomo? The possibilities are endless!"

"Anyway," I turned back to the camera, "next chapter will feature-"

"But wait!" Todo interrupted again. "What about Kaori? Will our resident mystery girl maintain her position as number one? Will the others form an alliance to dethrone her? The drama! The romance! The-"

The speakers cut out mid-sentence. Through the booth's window, I saw Jiro removing her earphone jack from the control panel while Todo dramatically clutched his chest.

"Thank you, Jiro," I said. "Now, before we run out of time - don't forget to drop those power stones and add us to your library for more updates on our adventures at UA. Next week: USJ!"

"And please review the safety protocols I'll be sending to everyone's phones," Yaoyorozu added.

"Always the responsible one." I commented.

She smiled. "Someone has to be, especially with you involved."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Need I remind you about the training dummy incident?"

"That was-"

"Or getting lost on the way to Recovery Girl's office? Or the Mario Kart tournament? Or-"

"And we're out of time!" I said quickly. "See you next time at USJ!"

"You can't just end the preview to avoid-"