[23] Brewing Trouble

I stared at the ceiling, my leg bouncing under my desk. The caffeine withdrawal was hitting hard. We'd run out of coffee grounds this morning, and when I tried to make a coffee run, the school went into sudden lockdown. Now I was stuck here, uncaffeinated and irritable. A criminal offense, if you asked me.

Gentle fingers threaded through my hair, and I let out an involuntary sigh. Jane had been playing with my hair for the past ten minutes from her seat behind me, and despite my mood, it felt surprisingly good.

"And then Aki-boy started doing this crazy dance to Rick Astley! Like, straight up popping and locking!"

"Besto Friendo! You never told me you could dance!" Todo's booming voice made me wince.

I groaned. "I don't dance."

"And this all started from you needing help with math homework?" Jane asked. 

"We barely got any done too." I said, trying to sound annoyed but failing as Jane hit a particularly good spot.

"Oh really?" she singsonged. "By the way, I need help with math. Think you could tutor me one-on-one?"

Todo's chair scraped against the floor as he spun around. "But you're literally the best at math in our class. Last week you corrected the Ectoplasm's calculus."

"Did I?" Jane tilted her head innocently. "I don't remember that."

I rolled my eyes. "You're not even trying to be convincing anymore."

"Anyone know what's up with this lockdown?" Setsuna called out from across the room, her head literally detaching to look out the window. "I saw some commotion at the front gate earlier."

Reiko's soft voice drifted through the classroom like a ghost. "The barriers between our realm and the next grow thin. Perhaps the spirits seek entrance..."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Monoma stood dramatically, pointing toward the window. "It's obviously the media, desperate to catch a glimpse of All Might teaching! They can't resist his spotlight! But little do they know, Class 1-B—"

"Sit down, Monoma," I said, not bothering to look at him.

"Good morning, class." Kan-sensei's entrance cut off whatever retort Monoma had planned. Our teacher's commanding presence immediately brought order to the room. "I've reviewed the footage from yesterday's combat training. Comprehensive reports will be available after homeroom. Some impressive performances, though there's always room for improvement."

Jane's fingers paused in my hair. "Did you catch our finishing move, sensei?"

"Yes, Doe. We'll discuss that... tactical coordination later."

I sighed. 

"Now then," Kan-sensei continued, "it's time we selected our class representatives."

The energy in the room shifted instantly. Nineteen pairs of eyes swiveled toward Kendo, who immediately turned red.

"W-what? Why is everyone looking at me?"

"Because you're literally the most responsible one here?" I offered.

"That's not true! What about..." Kendo trailed off, looking around the room.

Monoma was practicing his villain laugh. Camie had somehow acquired a fashion magazine and was showing Setsuna the latest trends. Jane was... still playing with my hair.

"I rest my case," I said.

"But—"

"Face it, Big Hands," I stretched in my chair, accidentally dislodging Jane's fingers. "You're the only one who can keep this circus in line."

"Aki-boy's got mad facts though," Camie nodded sagely. "You're like, totally our team mom."

"I am not—"

"I second that," Todo declared. "A class representative should be someone who understands the heart of their fellows. Kendo, you are clearly the most qualified. Though I must ask - what's your type?"

"Todo," Kendo groaned. "That's not relevant to being class rep."

"All in favor of Kendo as class rep?" Todo raised his hand, his voice carrying across the room. Every hand shot up, including mine, though I barely lifted it from my desk.

"The class has spoken," Kan-sensei nodded approvingly. "Congratulations, Kendo. Now, who wants to be vice rep?"

"Oh! Oh! Me!" Monoma jumped up again. "I'll show Class 1-A the true superiority of—"

"Anyone else?" Kan-sensei asked pointedly.

"I nominate Akira," Kendo said quickly, a glint of revenge in her eyes.

I sat up straight. "Wait, what?"

"Seconded!" Jane chirped behind me.

"Third...ed?" Todo grinned.

"Fourthed!" Camie nodded.

"Now hold on—"

"All in favor?" Kendo asked sweetly.

The betrayal was unanimous. Even Monoma raised his hand, probably just to spite me.

"Perfect," Kan-sensei wrote our names on the board. "Kendo and Sakamoto, see me after class to discuss your new responsibilities."

I slumped back in my chair, mourning both my lost freedom and my lost coffee. Jane's fingers returned to my hair, as if offering consolation.

"Don't worry, Vice Rep," she whispered, "I'll still need those math lessons."

"You really are the worst, you know that?"

I could hear the smile in her voice. "So I've been told."

I pushed my food around my plate, still mourning my lost coffee from the morning. The cafeteria table had gotten crowded as more of our classmates joined what had started as just Todo, Camie, and me.

"So like, spill the tea," Camie leaned forward, chopsticks pointing at me. "What'd Kan-sensei say about the vice rep thing?"

"Mostly boring procedural stuff," I shrugged. "Kendo got the better end of the deal."

"You mean I got more work," Kendo corrected, taking a bite of her rice. "But seriously, you're perfect for the role. You notice things others miss. It was a tactical decision picking you."

"Speaking of tactical decisions," Jane's voice carried that familiar mischievous tone, "did I ever tell you about the time I had to infiltrate a secret underground dance competition in Buenos Aires?"

Todo slammed his hands on the table. "A competition of souls expressed through movement! Tell us more."

"Well," Jane twirled her fork dramatically, "it all started when I was tracking this international art thief who had a peculiar habit of only stealing paintings of cats..."

"That's cap and you know it," I interrupted, but I was smiling despite myself.

"No way, I believe her," Setsuna's head detached to get a better view of Jane. "Remember last week when she mentioned being a former circus acrobat?"

"I thought she said she was raised by ninjas," Awase scratched his head.

"Both can be true," Jane nodded sagely. "The ninja circus was very exclusive."

Kuroiro emerged partially from Kaibara's shadow. "The darkness holds many secrets. Perhaps Jane-san's past is one of them."

"Or perhaps," I grabbed Jane's pudding cup before she could reach it, "she just likes messing with us."

"Rude," Jane pouted, making a grab for her dessert. I held it just out of reach.

"Consider it payment for this morning's hair thing."

"Oh?" Setsuna's floating head grinned. "What hair thing?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Aki-boy's just salty 'cause he low-key loved it," Camie smirked.

Todo stroked his chin thoughtfully. "The bond between allies manifests in many ways. Though the true question is: what drives us to seek such connections?"

"That's... surprisingly deep, Todo," Kendo blinked.

"Indeed. I've been contemplating the nature of friendship and purpose lately. Why do we choose to become heroes? What shapes our path?"

A brief silence fell over the table. Ibara was the first to speak, her vine-hair swaying gently.

"God's guidance led me to this path. To help others is to serve His will."

"I just wanna prove that anyone can be a hero, ya know?" Pony added in her accented Japanese. "Even if they're from somewhere else!"

"Wealth and fame," I said flatly. Several people turned to stare at me. "What? At least I'm honest about it."

"There's more to it than that," Kendo challenged. "I've seen how you look out for our classmates."

"Pure self-interest. Can't have my investments failing."

"Keep telling yourself that, Vice Rep," Jane nudged me with her elbow.

"What about you then?" I turned to her. "Why do you want to be a hero?"

"Oh, that's easy," Jane smiled. "I'm actually a villain infiltrating U.A. to steal all their secrets."

"She's joking," Monoma said quickly. "Right?"

"Am I?" Jane tilted her head, expression unreadable.

"Definitely joking," I said, finally relenting and passing her pudding cup back. "A real villain would have better taste in desserts."

"Says the guy who drinks his coffee black like some kind of psychopath," Tsuburaba muttered.

"Speaking of which," Kaibara spoke up, "is that why you've been twitching all morning?"

"We're not discussing my caffeine dependency."

"Aki-boy's got mad coffee issues," Camie stage-whispered to Pony, who nodded sympathetically.

"If you need assistance," Todo placed a hand on my shoulder, "I know an excellent meditation technique that—"

"I need coffee, not meditation."

"The two aren't mutually exclusive, Besto Friendo!"

A sharp alarm cut through the cafeteria, different from the morning's lockdown signal. The lights dimmed, and red emergency strips illuminated along the floors.

"Level Three security breach," a computerized voice announced. "All students please proceed to designated safe zones. This is not a drill. Repeat: Level Three security breach."

The cafeteria erupted into chaos. Students from other classes started rushing toward the exits, creating a dangerous bottleneck. I stood up, scanning the room.

"Todo, Tsuburaba – secure the exits. Create pathways with air walls and spatial swaps. Kuroiro, use the shadows to check for stragglers. Pony, your horns can guide people along the evacuation routes. Everyone else, help maintain order and assist any injured."

They moved without question, falling into their roles smoothly. I caught Kendo's knowing smirk.

"Not leadership material, huh?" she asked, already moving to help organize the crowd.

"Oh, shut up," I muttered, but there was no heat in it. I turned to Jane, who was watching me with an unreadable expression. "What?"

"Nothing," she smiled. "Just thinking maybe they made the right choice after all."

"Whatever. Help me make sure no one gets trampled."

I weaved through the panicking crowd, keeping an eye on our classmates as they worked to maintain order. Todo's spatial swaps were creating clear paths to the exits, while Tsuburaba's air walls guided traffic flow. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than the complete chaos from moments ago.

"On your left!" Jane called out. I turned to see a first-year student stumble, nearly getting caught in the surge. I grabbed their arm and pulled them to their feet, steering them toward one of Todo's designated safe zones.

"Thanks," they mumbled before disappearing into the crowd.

"This is ridiculous," I said to Jane as she materialized beside me. "Level Three means someone breached the barrier, right? Why evacuate to designated areas instead of full lockdown?"

"Because the threat level doesn't warrant—" Jane started, then stopped abruptly. "Look."

Through the windows, I spotted a man in glasses using what looked like jet engines in his calves to propel himself toward the emergency exit. 

"Who is that?" I asked, more to myself than Jane.

"Iida Tenya," she said. "Class 1-A."

I raised an eyebrow. "And you know this because...?"

"I know lots of things," she grinned. 

I studied the scene outside. Beyond Iida, I could make out what looked like camera equipment and microphones. "It's just the media again, isn't it?"

"Probably the same ones from this morning."

"Perfect." I turned toward the crowd. "Todo!"

"Yes, Besto Friendo?"

"Give me a boost. Everyone needs to hear this."

Todo clapped his hands, and suddenly I was standing on one of the cafeteria tables. The height advantage let me see the full scope of the situation – and more importantly, let everyone see me.

"Hey!" I shouted, channeling a bit of energy into my voice. "It's just reporters! The press broke through the gate!"

A few people stopped to listen, but most kept pushing toward the exits.

"Well, that worked great," I muttered.

"Allow me," Jane said, then whistled – a piercing sound that made several people cover their ears. In the moment of relative quiet that followed, I tried again.

"The security breach is just the media! Look outside – they're being handled by staff. There's no danger, so stop acting like extras in a disaster movie!"

That got their attention. Several students turned toward the windows, confirming what I'd said. The panic began to subside, replaced by embarrassed murmurs and nervous laughter.

"Did you really have to use the 'extras' line?" Kendo asked as she helped direct people back to their seats.

"Got their attention, didn't it?"

"You're spending too much time around Monoma."

"I heard that!" Monoma called from somewhere in the crowd.

As the cafeteria settled back to normal, our classmates regrouped at our table. Todo clapped his hands again, returning me to my seat just as Vlad King entered the cafeteria.

"Good work maintaining order," he nodded to our class. "Especially you two." He looked at Kendo and me. "Though next time, maybe avoid calling your fellow students 'extras.'"

"That was kind of harsh," Jane agreed, stealing a bite of my forgotten lunch.

"Says the one who nearly deafened half the cafeteria," I countered, not bothering to stop her food theft.

"A necessary tactical decision," she mimicked Monoma's dramatic tone perfectly.

"I do not sound like that!" Monoma protested.

"You kind of do," Kendo patted his shoulder consolingly.

The rest of lunch passed without incident, though conversations kept drifting back to the press breach. It wasn't the first time reporters had tried to get onto campus, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Still, something about it bothered me.

"The timing's weird," I said as we headed back to class. "Two security incidents in one day?"

"Three if you count the coffee shortage as a crisis," Jane teased.

"I'm serious. The press this morning, the lockdown, now this? Seems like someone's testing our security."

"Or maybe you need caffeine," Kendo suggested. "You're getting paranoid."

"Pattern recognition isn't paranoia."

"No, but it can look similar when you're sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated," Jane poked my cheek. "Come on, Vice Rep. We've got hero basic training next. You can worry about conspiracy theories after school."

I swatted her hand away, but she had a point. Whatever was going on with security, it wasn't my problem. At least, not yet.

"Fine," I conceded. "But I reserve the right to say 'I told you so' if this turns out to be something bigger."

"Noted," Jane smiled. "Now, about those math lessons..."

"Still not falling for it."

"Worth a shot."