Startle

My shout startled Daniella and Lumi. They craned their necks towards the study as I stepped out. 

"Huh?" 

"You're going viral, dumpling. You did it!"

I headed over to the sofa, pointing at the Pineapple notebook in hand. I set it on the coffee table as Lumi snuggled into my lap. She did not have much of a reaction, much to my surprise. She giggled as my arms wrapped around her. 

"You were silent earlier, Dad," she said, her eyes sparkling. "But now you're so excited. Was this worrying you?" 

"Yes," I admitted, hugging her tighter. I did not want to bring down the mood. "But we're one step closer to your dreams!" 

Daniella also took a seat on the sofa nearby with her legs crossed and arms folded. Yet her nose was long, and her chin raised. "Of course, I'm her teacher after all," she said, flashing a proud grin. 

No one responded to her. My attention focused on Lumi whose attention had fallen to towards the comment section at the bottom of her screen. Her glimmering eyes became a daze. Her frail little arm outstretched from my lap towards the laptop screen, even though it stood far from her. 

I gave a gentle swat of her arm away. Lumi snapped back into her senses, shuffling in my lap. She was about to crane her neck to face me, but I was faster. I turned her around completely. 

"You don't need to think about that, dumpling." 

Lumi's lips scrunched up into a grumble. "I want some encouragement." 

I peeked into her mind. She, in fact, did not want encouragement at all. Instead, she was happy about all the recognition coming from her growing popularity. I feared it would be too much. Too much happiness, yes. 

"You can't live for the approval of strangers and derive all of your joy and fulfillment from them, dumpling. It's a belief system that's destined to crumble with one thoughtless remark." 

It was hard to even think about these words, not to mention speaking them aloud. I knew the reason why she had constructed this precarious belief system in the first place: to stand up to her traumas. It was a beautiful and honorable notion, but problematic as is. I did not want to see her passion of singing become reduced to a tool for other's happiness. 

I recognized it was quite a stretch to say so, but my concerns could not stay unfounded. She was beginning to show an obsession with the notion of a superstar, which was likely a fault of mine parroting that all the time. I only wanted her to have a healthy relationship popularity and fame. 

Then I gave myself an inward, wry chuckle. Maybe it was all a long-winded and roundabout way to say I worried about her reaction to criticism. 

"Oh," Lumi responded, her tone sullen. She seemed to shrink. "I understand, Dad." 

You can take a peek if you really want to, dumpling. You've earned that praise. 

I know. Dad doesn't want me to grow a big head. Stay humble. 

He wants you to sing for yourself and yourself only. Not to be liked and not to earn money. Sing because it makes you happy.

Lumi raised her eyes all the sudden. 

If I want praise... can Dad give it? 

Silly. Dad loves you more than anything. He won't hate you or leave you for one thoughtless moment or one bad singing performance. If you want reassurance, ask for it. Dad will shower you with heartfelt praises. You'll know if I'm lying. But I won't.

Thank you, Dad. 

She shuffled in my lap again. "I'm going to take a nap," she mumbled. 

I reluctantly let her go. Only when her weary back disappeared into the guest room did I turn my attention to Daniella. 

"Sorry. I interrupted the two of you." 

Daniella did not seem bothered as her brows were raised. "It's like the two of you had an internal conversation."

I gave a light cough. "Just a light understanding of each other." 

"It's amazing," Daniella said. "You know, I was singing her praises earlier. The complete opposite of what you were talking about." 

"We have different philosophies about fame and stardom, I guess." 

Daniella shook her head. "No, I think you're onto something. I think my senior sister would treasure your words if she could go back in time to years ago. Lumi is much more mature than I thought." 

"I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing that you treat her like a child," I said. 

Daniella laughed. "The worries of an old father." 

"It's not unfounded," I explained. "She has trauma and she's using the spotlights to heal from it. I worry about when the lights go dim, and her scars act up again. I don't know if one snarky comment is a trigger or not."

Daniella fell silent. I followed suit. The air turned unsettling fast. 

"But she does like singing, right?" 

It was an uncharacteristic question from Daniella, so much so, that I had to laugh. 

"You're a music student and singer yourself and you can't tell? Haven't you seen the effort she has put this past week? Didn't you watch her performance today? She loves singing."

Daniella gave herself a silly smile. She then turned to me, her smile turning a little sly and cunning by the minute. I watched as crows cawed above past my head. Her reaction was beyond me. 

"D-did I say something wrong?" I asked, confused. 

"I worded it wrong. What I meant to say is that since loves singing so much, you don't have to worry at all." 

I bit my lip. "Yeah, I understand that. But... it's just..." 

"Her performance today was beyond impressive," Daniella continued. "I think you were even a little bit too harsh on her. She deserved every bit of praise she could get. Look."

Daniella pulled out her phone and showed me her list of emails. 

"You're using my account to access MeTube, right? There's no interface to show the private messages that you receive. It goes to the email linked to the account." 

It dawned on me. My voice rose sharply, startled like a chimpanzee in fright. I inhaled a deep breath to calm myself steady. "You're saying that..." 

"Lumi has received offers from the record labels already." 

"... what?"