Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf.
A review excerpt is as follows:
Technical:
For the most part, your technical writing abilities are good. They are well sufficient enough for clear storytelling. There are some minor mistakes, mostly punctuation. There is often a space in front of the first quotation mark in speeches, and the period actually goes inside of the quotation, but in other countries, it’s outside, so it’s not a big deal. Also, commas go before FANBOYS that precede a noun and verb. Infrequent grammatical errors such as, “Petal stopped moving and Sven drew his sword out. Causing, blood to spurt out and onto his face,” can be easily fixed. The second sentence is dependent to the first, so it’s actually a sentence fragment that should be attached to the first with a comma. So just some basic proofreading of punctuation and grammar rules will polish the technical aspect of writing.
The “System,” Theonymphi, and magic:
The System is came across as somewhat comical in the dry sense of humor and how it assists Izzy. This is really good. Theo also makes a nice fairy partner/sidekick. The usage of songs to heal is rather original in its application. While the idea itself has been used before, in this kind of otherworld setting, using songs from Earth is a great spin.
Izzy and Ruben:
You did a good job of fleshing these two characters out. Already, readers can grasp their personalties through their movements, thoughts, and speech. And they’re rather cute together. I sense they might be a couple, but it’s good that it’s developing slowly, and Izzy isn’t completely ga-ga over him his transformation. .........(cont.)
The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/
After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again.
Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)
