webnovel
Lazy_Cat_Kush
Lazy_Cat_KushLv116yr
2019-01-25 12:38

The story is good, nice writing style a bit not one that I prefer but as I love the story you can do whatever else you want. Well what makes a story good is that it keeps the readers interested, and this manage to achieve it. Please check the grammatical errors as there are some.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
Elotra
ElotraAuthor

Yes thank you I will do that

Other Reviews
CaptKay
CaptKayLv14
Book_Keeper
Book_KeeperLv4

Hello, your novel has been assessed and review by Virtual Bookshelf. A review excerpt is as follows: Technical: For the most part, your technical writing abilities are good. They are well sufficient enough for clear storytelling. There are some minor mistakes, mostly punctuation. There is often a space in front of the first quotation mark in speeches, and the period actually goes inside of the quotation, but in other countries, it’s outside, so it’s not a big deal. Also, commas go before FANBOYS that precede a noun and verb. Infrequent grammatical errors such as, “Petal stopped moving and Sven drew his sword out. Causing, blood to spurt out and onto his face,” can be easily fixed. The second sentence is dependent to the first, so it’s actually a sentence fragment that should be attached to the first with a comma. So just some basic proofreading of punctuation and grammar rules will polish the technical aspect of writing. The “System,” Theonymphi, and magic: The System is came across as somewhat comical in the dry sense of humor and how it assists Izzy. This is really good. Theo also makes a nice fairy partner/sidekick. The usage of songs to heal is rather original in its application. While the idea itself has been used before, in this kind of otherworld setting, using songs from Earth is a great spin. Izzy and Ruben: You did a good job of fleshing these two characters out. Already, readers can grasp their personalties through their movements, thoughts, and speech. And they’re rather cute together. I sense they might be a couple, but it’s good that it’s developing slowly, and Izzy isn’t completely ga-ga over him his transformation. .........(cont.) The full review is linked to your title on: https://virtualbookshelf.home.blog/2019/02/02/webnovel-assessments-10/ After three chapters, you may request to be assessed again. Thank you, and the best of luck on your writing endeavors! :)

Related Stories

I Can Copy And Evolve Talents

Across the vast convolution of worlds, divine beings rule as absolute sovereigns—each god assigned dominion over a singular realm. Skirmishes are inevitable, whether for power, amusement, or sheer pettiness. One such battle, between Nexus, the God of Trickery, and an aging, senile deity, resulted in an anomaly… A soul misplaced. Elliot, an ordinary man, was never meant for Ul’Tra-el. But fate, or perhaps a cosmic prank, had other plans. Unlike other worlds, Ul’Tra-el is an aberration—one that developed a voice. A voice that diverged from the natural order. A voice that changed everything. Its foundation cracked, leaking dimensions into one another. Rifts tore open like festering wounds, vomiting forth unspeakable horrors—monsters not meant to exist. But the world did not sit idly by. In response—perhaps an act of self-preservation—the world gifted its inhabitants power. Talents awakened, granting people extraordinary abilities. And for every rift sealed, the Voice of Ul rewarded them generously. Survival was simple: fight, grow stronger, and close the rifts… or die trying. In this ruthless, blood-soaked reality, Northern—a white-haired boy burdened by his past life—was reincarnated. But unlike the chosen heroes, he awakened as a talentless nobody. No power. No strength. No future. And when death loomed over him—when despair clawed at his soul and the cold grip of the failure threatened to take him— A Voice responded: [System Notice] [Your Soul cannot take a form.] [Searching for a Unique Pattern Ability…] [Searching…] [Search Found.] [A Unique System Ability has been detected.] [You Can Copy And Evolve Talents] ... Follow Northern through his journey as he becomes the pinnacle of this world. This a story about a white-haired boy’s rise from rubbles!! Note: This is an overpower genre but MC does not just start off like that. Even though MC can copy talents he doesn't just jump around copying talents because there's a limitation. However, his rise to strength is depicted and is an experience to enjoy. The first few hundreds would be frustrating to follow because MC is weak but that makes the experience all the more interesting when MC finally gets freaking strong and starts wiping the floor with everyones asses.

RighteousFilth · Fantasy
3.7
867 Chs