Chapter 21

Starlet sat in the living room waiting for her husband to return from work. She was ready to deal with him, now. She had spent the whole day on the internet looking up practical solutions.

She had taken care of and dismissed the staff for the day. It was going to be just her and her husband when they talked. She didn't want any chance of this leaking out and reaching the press or her parents before she was ready.

She heard the garage door open and sat up straight. Her legs were planted on the ground, knees and feet together and her hands folded on her lap. She would be strong through this even if it killed her… No… She wouldn't let it kill her. She'd wait until she was alone and die. Star suppressed a sigh as Lucien walked into the room.

He saw her and did a double take. His shoulders dropped when he saw the way she was sitting. She was a woman on a mission. He had no right to complain, he wanted to but he had put them in this situation. These were the consequences of his actions. He wondered if she wanted to divorce him. He was fucked if she chose that decision. If he cheated on her, he would pay a penalty that would cut him off at his knees. He sat on the couch and rubbed his face in his hands. He tugged at his tie to loosen it and flopped back onto the couch.

"What is the probability that the child is yours?" Starlet asked him.

Lucien winced. There was a chance. He was ashamed of himself. He could not look her in the eye.

Starlet took his reaction as enough of an answer and tried to ignore the pain in her heart. She reminded herself that she was stronger than this. She could walk through this and when it was over, she could go and lick her emotional wounds.

"Fine," she said carefully, "we will get a paternity test done first and then discuss other steps with her."

Lucien didn't respond to that.

"Do you want the child?" she could have been asking him what he wanted for dinner with the tone she was using.

"I don't know," Lucien said as he rolled his eyes heavenward.

He had avoided thinking about this situation the whole day. He had not even spoken to anyone about this. He had pushed through the day like he had never looked at Ayanda.

Did he want the child? He was not sure. He had fucked up. Their society was harsh to children born out of wedlock. Bastards were below servants to some families. He had potentially fucked up the life of his first-born child with his actions. He had messed up his own life and probably the family business. He had hurt Star and now he was just waiting for Bob Marks to rain hell on him.

He wondered if she had told them or if she would ever tell them. Why was she holding a meeting here now? Did she have solutions, orders or suggestions? Was she going to tell him that their marriage was over and she was taking everything from him? He suppressed a sigh and lay limply on the couch. His fate was now in her hands and he had done that himself. He had stripped himself of control. Literally fucked it away. He fought off the inappropriate laugh that wanted to bubble up his throat. If he laughed now, he feared Star might freeze his balls off. And he might hurt her. He didn't want to hurt her more than he already had. He had done enough damage for a lifetime and he had to fix it somehow.

"It doesn't matter really," Star said with resignation, "She will give birth to this child and decisions have to be made now."

Star forced herself to keep her gaze level with her husband but he wasn't looking at her. She was grateful he wasn't looking at her. She knew her mask wasn't perfect and some emotion was probably slipping through. She had to deal with this. She couldn't run away from her problems no matter how much she wished.

"If you don't want the child," Star's voice was cold, "we can have Ms Hill take a settlement and sign another NDA, If you want the child we can give Ms Hill a settlement, have her sign an NDA, and I'll raise the child as my own. To the world, we'd have adopted him."

Lucien looked at her incredulously.

"Do you think throwing money around is going to solve this?" he asked her.

"How else can this be solved?" Star snapped at him furiously, "I refuse to have your mistress bother me for the rest of my married life. She will have to go either way or I will find more drastic solutions to this problem."

"You think separating a mother from her child isn't drastic?" Lucien asked her.

Starlet laughed mirthlessly.

"Oh, she will deal!" She said after the laughter died down.

"Starlet," Lucien said slowly and carefully, "I know this is my fault," Starlet scoffed.

"But don't you think it's cruel to throw money and lawyers and take her child?" Lucien asked her sitting up and looking her straight in the eye.

Star looked at him wondering if she should say what was on her mind and decided that she had nothing to lose.

"Did you it was cruel to cheat on me over and over again and humiliate me the way you did?"

Lucien winced and tried to interject but he didn't manage to let a sound in.

"Was she not being cruel when she slept with a married man and then came to the wife," Star pointed a finger to her chest, "Came to me, with that nonsense about a book and pictures?"

"Wasn't that cruel?" Star asked, "What did she expect when she came to me with her pregnancy report? Is that not cruel."

"Never mind me," she said as she shot him a glare, "This is all your fault! Had you been less cruel…" she stopped as she felt a lump begin to form in her throat.

"I have taken cruelty from you," She said when she felt she could speak again, "Ask me what cruel is like if you need a reference."

She got up and walked out of the room head raised all the way to her room. There she sank onto her bed and begged herself not to cry.

She needed to eat. She couldn't continue skipping meals due to anger because, at this point, she would starve to death if she let it carry on for longer.

She took calming breaths and opened her door and went downstairs to serve dinner. Lucien was still in the living room. He was sitting on the couch leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair

"Go clean yourself up," she told him flatly, "I'm serving dinner."

He did not indicate that he heard her but she ignored that. If he wanted to starve it was fine by her. She didn't want to deal with him. She was too exhausted.

She took out the plates that Ms Wade had set aside in the warmer and she turned it off. She took the plates to the table and began eating. Lucien came to join her when she was halfway done with her meal and she ignored him. She could not look at him. Not yet. She was working on being strong. She was doing it all in stages. Every time she looked at him, she cursed herself for not being able to love him less.

She set her cutlery into her plate and as she was moving her chair back, Lucien's voice stopped her.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

Starlet looked at him and the dead look in her eyes broke him. He wondered if he had reached the point of no return with her. He should not have said anything and been grateful that she was not a vengeful woman. He should have been thankful that she didn't lay down the divorce papers. But he didn't know why he had challenged her instead.

"What's the use of saying that now?" his wife asked him quietly. "There's no undo button to what you've done."

She was right. All she could do now was adjust and make this situation bearable for everyone involved.

"About the paternity test," he said slowly.

"I'll get my lawyers on it," Star said flatly and got up.

She picked up her plate and walked towards the kitchen but abruptly stopped at the doorway.

"If this child is yours," She said with her back to him, "If you want to keep it, I won't abuse it. That child is innocent in all this. You can think about keeping the child or not with this in mind. I just won't have Ayanda Hill strapped to my life. I refuse to give her that."

She continued on to the kitchen leaving Lucien at the dining table staring after her thoughtfully.