I Won’t Let Him Go

Li Xiuying thought that there was no pain comparable when she and Chuntao, her twin sister, lost their parents ten years ago. But now, looking back to her husband who showed neither remorse nor guilt on the blow he sent her was too much. 

She felt like she died again for the third time. Something within her died as Mu Jianyu presented her the divorce papers. 

"You don't… you don't love me anymore?" The tears she was trying to hold back burst and stream down her lovely face. 

"Xiuying, let's end this here. I don't wanna be tied in a loveless marriage." Mu Jianyu replied. 

He was done with her. Li Xiuying was only his wife on legal papers but his heart was already taken by another woman. His mistress, Lin Meirong. Once Li Xiuying signed these papers, he will be free from her and free to love Lin Meirong. There would no more hiding in public, no more secret meetings. He could finally love Lin Meirong in all the right ways. 

"Let me think about it." Li Xiuying said but in her mind, she was already screaming in pain, in desperation. So many questions crossed through her mind but all of them were left unanswered.

"I'm leaving tonight. It's better for you to sign those papers. If you are worried about your company, I have no intention of getting any shares from it. The prenuptial agreement we had will take effect once you sign our divorce papers." 

Not wasting another minute with his soon to be ex-wife, Mu Jianyu left her in the kitchen while he packed his things from their bedroom. This was it. There was no turning back now. He had purposely broken his wife's heart for another woman. At least, they will be free.

---

Mu Jianyu did exactly what he told her. He'd left her the same night and Li Xiuying could only look as he left their home. 

'Please don't go. Don't leave...' she wanted to say but her words were stuck in her throat as she continued to cry.

She stayed where he'd left her and cried until her tears ran dry. His words continued to echo in her head, haunting her, reminding her what she had lost. 

'I simply don't love you anymore…' 

Li Xiuying wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Tell him how much of a coward and a bastard her husband is, so cowardly that he couldn't tell her the real reason he was divorcing her. She wanted to tell the world that she didn't deserve any of this, that the only thing she wanted in her life is a happy family and to help Chuntao, her twin sister achieve her dreams. 

Was it too much if she asks for some happiness for herself? 

Was it too much to ask for some love? 

What did she do wrong? Or was it because she never did something? 

What did she do in her previous life to suffer like this? Taking her parents at the young age of fifteen, losing her first child with Mu Jianyu three years ago, and now he was leaving her for his mistress. 

'Why? Why me?' 

She had never offended anyone. She did her best to treat everyone with respect but why was her life in a mess? 

The phone in their living area beeped indicating an incoming call but Li Xiuying didn't have enough strength to get on her feet and answer the phone. After several rings, the call was directed to her voice message. 

"Hey sis, are you home? Good news! I passed my exams and will be starting my residency soon! Call me once you're free." 

A familiar voice echoed within the living area. 

"Chuntao…" Li Xiuying whispered and she found herself crying once more. The only person who could understand her pain would be Li Chuntao. She could call her but that would mean she will have to spill all the secrets she discovered for the past three months.

She knew then that Chuntao would abandon everything she's worked on for several years just to come back on her side. Li Xiuying couldn't allow that to happen, not now that Chuntao was doing well. Her sister seemed so happy from receiving a good result from her exams and should concentrate on her residency for medicine. 

She hung her head in shame while her tears continued to drop on her shirt. One hand ran down from her stomach down to her lower abdomen and she cried harder. 

"I won't let him go, not like this. I will fight for your father, so be safe and healthy there, alright?"