lan Zhan at tha age of 15

"Elder Lan! Elder Lan!" A disciple stumbles into the study room panting and looking pale.

Two other disciples help the pale face, "What is it? Don't you know you're breaking Gusu's rule?" Uncle reprimands the disciple.

"Sorry Elder Lan, but this is urgent. Other disciples have been captured by some unknown resentful corpse. We were on night hunt when suddenly they accosted us. The energy was dark and we couldn't..." with adrenaline seeping out of him he suddenly faints without being able to complete his word of caution.

"Quick, take him to the medical practitioner." Turning towards my brother Uncle regards, "XiChen, we need to resolve this matter as quickly as possible before the word gets out and causes more panic."

"Let me go." At my insistence, they both turn towards me and after quick contemplation Uncle nods, "Alright, go and bring them back safely."

Leaving them behind I am about to exit Gusu when Gege calls my name, "Wangji," his eyes probe into mine "please be careful."

With a nod I leave.

Standing amidst the dark forrest, I close my eyes and activate my acute hearing senses. Faint chords of Zither could be detected by my ears which only a Gusu disciple is taught. Normal ears cannot pick up these senses. Traveling at speed of light I arrive just in time to witness a walking corpse attacking a Gusu disciple from behind. Jumping right into action with my Bichen, I slash him in half.

"Second Master Lan, they're hiding inside a cave." I nod and just then a wave of walking corpse attack us from all sides. Sheathing Bichen, I call for Wangji and with just one chord, attack all of them by creating sand storm which would give us an ample time to escape.

I turn to the haggard disciple and enquire sternly, "Where are others?"

Taking the injured disciples along with us, we reach the caves where rest are tending to other injured ones.

"Second Master Lan." They all bow and I walk towards them and question, "What are the state of casualties?"

"Not much Second Master Lan, but we must hurry back to Cloud Recess, as they still need to tend their wounds."

"I'll go back out there and distract them, while you all escape behind those wilderness. There is a trail which would lead you to a pond and if you walk straight from there, you'll reach Cloud Recess."

I turn to leave when a known voice enquires, "Second Master Lan, will you be alright?" Her question surprises me, it's the same female cultivator from before. I don't answer. I just leave without a word. Walking away I hear them admonishing her to keep quiet. That's good for her too. She should not go against Gusu rules.

Back on battlefield with just one chord, I attract those resentful corpses towards me and as they rush to inflict me with wounds, using Wangji, I yet again mutilate them.

In battle of wits and brawn they're of no match to me and soon the fury ends. I am left with utter isolation. Using my senses again I find none around.

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Walking back to the cave I find no one there. Good, everyone must have reached Cloud Recess by now. Slowly traversing back to Gusu, I enjoy the soft grasses that caress my feet and the smell of fresh earth brings a subtle change to my mood.

Would you have enjoyed this serenity if you were here?

My feet halt when I see a figure under the cherry blossom tree inside Jingshi. Dressed in Gusu robes, hair flowing freely, holding in her hand a flower from the wilderness, she looks up at me when I enter.

She smiles shyly and walks towards me. The soft breeze from before continues to envelope us, as her fringes plays with her eyes, but they shine brightly as they seek mine.

Lady Zhi Ruo

She bows with respect, "Second Master Lan, I hope you aren't hurt?" Her concerned eyes looks for any injuries on me.

Unable to comprehend the absurdity of this situation I comand, "Go back to your quaters, you aren't supposed to be here." I turn to leave when she stops me with her words.

"Second Master Lan," with a pause she continues, "please wait."

Standing in front of me she hands me a flower with diligence,"Please accept this."

What's happening? When I don't take it nor answer her she continues "I have feelings for you, from the day I met you, I have started to develop feelings for you" her eyes shine with emotions and I remain stoic.

Feelings for me? Why? What does she know about me to even have any remote feelings for a person like me?

Not wanting to keep her in delusion, I finally speak "Lady Zhi Ruo, I can't accept your feelings. Rather I can never accept anyone's feelings. I have no heart in me to be a part of this world. Please go back to your quaters and don't ever bother me again" I turn to leave when my soul hears her gasp.

My peripheral vision watches her sprint away from Jingshi.  Feeling uneasy, I walk to my usual spot to play Inquiry and the spirt bows down to me.

"Same question?"

"Yes."

After a moment she answers, "He's alright" and I breathe with relief.

For the very first time I pause and I feel a shift within her. She is curious.

"Anything else?"

"Have you ever had feelings?"

"Yes"

"What kind of feelings?"

"Sorrow, pain, longingness, helplessness and finally love"

"When did you experience this?" I enquire

"For last few years when you have been asking me everynight only one question, I have experienced all of them" and my eyes widen.

"What you feel for that young lad, I wish to tell you everything, but you never ask" her voice is solemn and I look away.

"You may leave" I close my eyes and she bows and disappears.

I play few more notes on Wangji when Gege calls my name. Without turning towards him I continue to play and he sits beside me.

Forgetting the pain within me, the loneliness inside me, I play for me. For him. For a hope that one day we shall meet again.