Chapter 5

Jon thrived; Eddard didn't take him away from her chambers. His first name day came and went. He toddled around the castle with her behind him. She held his little hands as he practiced his walking. "Be careful my pup." She would say as he tried to run with his unsteady legs.

Jon called her mamma, and she didn't correct him. He was her only diversion, her bright spot in this bleak place. Eddard was always too busy with his bannermen, fighting wildings and whatnot. She was the Lady of Winterfell and it fell to her to run the castle. She usually spent mornings reading and running errands to make sure the castle was running accordingly. In the afternoons she read, played and fed Jon. She also wrote letters to Jaime, Aunt Genna and occasionally father. By nights she dined with her lord husband and they made small talk about Winterfell but most of the time they spoke about Jon.

She was in her solar playing with some wooden blocks. Jon loved to smash them to the ground. "Not so hard my pup." She said when the baby pulled on her hair.

"Mamma. Mamma, mamma." He stood up on his chubby legs and touched her face. They were nose to nose. She smiled when he yelled and hugged her neck, almost choking her. She didn't notice Eddard by the door.

He strode in and for the first time in many moons kissed her cheek. Eddard sat down next to her. Jon was always shy around him. She thought it was because he never spent any time with the baby really. Eddard was always busy and only spent time with Jon when they ate dinner or he was asleep at her breasts. She weaned him off a couple of days after his name day. Jon had teeth now and he wasn't shy about biting. He still liked to sleep at her breasts however.

"Go to your father Jon." She said as the baby hid behind her blond hair.

Eddard smile ruefully, "He doesn't like me much."

Cersei shook her head and then grabbed a squirming Jon and placed him in her lap so that he was close to Eddard without touching him.

"He does not know you Eddard." Cersei said plainly. She remembered being scared of her lord father. He never spent much time with her or Jaime for that matter. Lady Joanna was their only parent as far as they were concerned until they turned five and mother told them that the blond man was father.

"How does one get to know an infant?" Eddard asked puzzled.

Cersei didn't look at him, but she could feel those cold grey eyes on her, she played with Jon's chubby fingers. "Well you have to take an interest in him. Play with him, teach him things, he's a happy baby." She smiled when Jon squirmed out of her hold and toddled to find a wooden horse Tyrion sent him.

"Ion" Jon told her. Eddard looked at her puzzled one more time. "He's trying to say lion." She replied and smiled at Jon. He was a very clever baby.

"No, that's a horse." Cersei whined like a horse, she heard Eddard's laugh for the first time in a year and half of marriage. She looked up and saw her husband with his head back against the bed.

Jon giggled too and she couldn't help but smile a little. "My lord husband should compose himself." She said with a haughty air.

"I am most sorry my lady." Eddard his voice filled with laughter.

The baby grew bored with his toy and pulled a magnificent lion also a gift from her baby brother. "Ion, roar, roar." He chanted and scrunched his face.

"Yes a lion Jon. Jon the lion." Cersei said and clapped when he roared loudly.

"He's a wolf. The wolf of Winterfell." Eddard said and did something rather uncharacteristic of him. He howled loudly, the sound startled her but delighted the young boy who howled too. Cersei watched as father and son interacted. They ate in her chambers and soon it was time for Jon to sleep.

Little by little she relinquished some of the control she had over the baby and went to her desk to busy herself writing letters to Jaime. Her brother wrote to her about the news at court. Queen Catelyn was with child again, Lysa Arryn had given birth to a girl named Sansa. Father was positively enraged with her for not giving him an heir. Cersei didn't care anymore; father couldn't reach in in the North unless her lord husband extended an invitation. It seemed rather unlikely that he would. Eddard didn't hold her father and Jaime in any high regard. According to her lord husband her father had ordered the Mountain to rape and kill Elia Martell's children, Eddard had gone south to rescue his sister only her death united Robert and him again.

The baby fussed and rubbed his little eyes. He grew tired of his father and went to her. He toddled to her desk and pushed his hands up. Cersei picked him up and put him on her chest.

"What is he trying to do?" Eddard asked curiously.

"He's trying to nuzzle my breasts. He wants to be fed." She gained a little satisfaction when her husband looked uncomfortable. Jon had a chubby hand on her right teat as if he owned that teat.

"I thought you didn't feed him anymore." Eddard was entirely too uncomfortable.

"I don't but he fusses and can't sleep before being held." Cersei replied simply.

That afternoon was the first of many more to come. Eddard would come by her solar after he was done with his duties and spend afternoons with her and his son. Jon was less inhibited around his lord father but he preferred her. Cersei was thrilled, Jon loved her more and she wasn't his blood.

"Lady Stark." He would say formally and then play with his son or talk to her about things. She asked him questions about Winterfell and he would answer, it was refreshing because strangely enough Eddard didn't think her useless, he valued her counsel and asked what she would have done. Cersei was versed in southern politics and tactics. They would speak about history and the seven kingdoms.

A particular evening while Jon was outside with his nursemaid they spoke about their teenage years. "My father thought it would be you." Cersei looked up from her needlework with a question in her eyes. Her lord husband was on the bed while she was sitting by the window.

"The Targaryen wed their sisters but Rhaegar didn't have any. My lord father thought you would be queen. He was at the tourney in the westerlands and was surprised when Aerys announced the union between Rhaegar and Elia Martell."

Cersei left the needlework and answered him, "I thought so too. My father promised me I would be queen when I was eight years old."

"Must have been a disappointment when Robert took Catelyn Tully for his queen." His tone was curious not at all mocking. She smiled and decided to turn the conversation, "Forgive me my lord but you were to wed the queen." Manners were a lady's armor.

Eddard nodded, "Alas I was but Jon Arryn had promised Hoster Tully a crown for Cat. The Tullys gave up the most resources to Robert's Rebellion."

Cersei of course knew all of this. In her two years of marriage to this man she discovered he was honorable, loyal, fair and truthful. She didn't know how she felt about those qualities. He would have been swallowed in the Capital.

"If you married Catelyn she would have given you a daughter already." Cersei commented.

Eddard didn't look at her. "We have an heir. The crown doesn't." He replied, she smiled briefly and he smiled back at her. He was kind, so very kind. She never met someone so kind that didn't set her on edge. She despised nice people, they were gullible, and she didn't like it when people didn't have agendas or ambitions. Eddard was different. He was reserved but honest. She turned to her needlework when Myra burst in. "The little lord is dead."