Chapter 4.4: A Visit To The Park

After school, I found myself back at the park again, like I had the past few days. I didn't have a reason for it, other than the fact that it was quiet here. Peaceful. I needed to think.

I sat on the bench, staring at the sky, letting my mind wander. What did Kaito mean by what he said? What did I want? Did I even know what that meant?

A voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Back again?" It was Haruka. She was sitting under the tree again, as usual, her book open in her lap, her eyes focused on me as if she had expected me to show up.

"Yeah," I replied quietly. "Just needed some space to think."

Haruka closed her book and set it aside, her gaze softening. "You know, you can talk about it. If you want."

I glanced at her, surprised. "Talk about what?"

"Whatever's on your mind. The thing that's making you so quiet. The thing you're trying to figure out."

I wasn't sure why, but I felt like I could trust her. Maybe it was because she wasn't asking me to do anything. She wasn't trying to fix me. She was just… there.

"I don't know who I am anymore," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "I feel like I'm just pretending to be someone else, like I'm wearing a mask all the time."

Haruka was quiet for a moment, and then she said, "Maybe that's the problem. You're trying to be something you're not. Or trying to be everything for everyone."

I sat there, absorbing her words. Was that it? Was I just playing a part?

I didn't have an answer. But for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was starting to understand something about myself.

Haruka stood up, brushing the dirt off her jeans. "It's okay, you know," she said softly. "You don't have to have it all figured out. Just… let yourself breathe."

I didn't know if I was ready to breathe yet, but maybe… just maybe, I was beginning to understand what that meant.